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Will someone give this baby a name? Here’s a pathetic story—perhaps you can help. Last night on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360°, right after a story on Bush’s security scare, they do an “On a Lighter Note” piece called “Nameless Baby.” It’s about an 18-month-old girl whose parents still haven’t given her a name. Cooper leads in with a snide “You would think it wouldn’t be too difficult to name a baby after being pregnant for nine months,” but then lets viewers know that’s not true for Andrew Heatley and Mary Lane of Tuscon, Ariz. Then there’s footage of the parents trying to explain: “We wanted to wait to see if she had her own personality, so we decided to wait.” But they never could decide. On the baby’s first birthday, the cake said, “Happy Birthday Baby.” Because she has no legal name, the baby has no birth certificate and no Social Security number. At the doctor’s office, she’s called simply Baby Girl Lane. As the story wraps, Cooper, arms folded, clearly amazed, asks readers to log on to the show’s site and suggest names. I have one I’d like to share—how about Pam, for my Parents Are Morons? —Posted by Alison Fahey

May 11, 2005 | Permalink

Comments

Gronk. The baby should be named Gronk.

Posted by: Gronk Gronk | May 11, 2005 2:44:30 PM

Seven Costanza. That, or Excene.

Posted by: Bob Shiffrar | May 11, 2005 3:46:23 PM

The baby should be named Baby if that's what everyone calls her now.

Posted by: Joseph Barbaccia | May 11, 2005 3:46:26 PM

Last name's Lane? Then you've gotta name her Penny.

Posted by: Bob Shiffrar | May 11, 2005 3:47:35 PM

How about Lois? For Lois Common Denominator Lane

Posted by: ttorrison | May 11, 2005 5:11:13 PM

How about "Get-Me-Outtahere"?

or www.tuesdayswithmantu.com

Posted by: rich siegel | May 11, 2005 6:02:15 PM

Life in the fast.

Posted by: lynette | May 12, 2005 6:38:36 AM

How about Noor.It means Sunrise.

Posted by: Marin | May 12, 2005 12:41:51 PM

Pam's good, but how about "Adopt me?"

Stupid damn parents.

Posted by: H Kim | May 12, 2005 2:43:21 PM

This could be a "no brainer". "A no name" backwards gives

us an interesting first name that the child can live with........

Name her "Emanona". Sounds nice, yes ?

Posted by: arthur keinberger | May 13, 2005 6:36:01 AM

This could be a "no brainer". "A no name" backwards gives

us an interesting first name that the child can live with........

Name her "Emanona". Sounds nice, yes ?

Posted by: arthur keinberger | May 13, 2005 6:37:38 AM

This could be a "no brainer". "A no name" backwards gives

us an interesting first name that the child can live with........

Name her "Emanona". Sounds nice, yes ?

Posted by: arthur keinberger | May 13, 2005 6:38:44 AM

They should acution it off on e-bay

Posted by: meloneyd | May 15, 2005 8:54:41 AM

what name did they give the baby?? Havent heard, does anyone know?

Posted by: Carla | Feb 24, 2006 5:52:07 AM

Good question. I can't find any mention of her actually being named.

Posted by: Tim Nudd | Feb 24, 2006 8:09:56 AM

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