If Russell Crowe sucks, your money back!

We don't know what to make of AMC Theatres' new offer of "your money back" to film patrons who go to see Cinderella Man and end up not enjoying it. While such an offer seems a sincere show of support for the Universal Pictures effort directed by Ron Howard, we wonder if it doesn't diminish the cache of Russell Crowe. A money-back proposal like this seems more fitting for an indie film, not a big-budget, major motion picture starring an A-list leading man. Clearly, the tepid reviews have dampened enthusiasm for the film, but those didn't stop Titanic from being one of the top-grossing films of all-time. Maybe the reviews coupled with Crowe's outburst shortly after the film was released are what helped sink it. But as a marketing tool, this offer smacks of so much desperation we feel even less inclined to sit through Cinderella Man and aren't even sure we'd do so when it lands on cable.

—Posted by Kathleen Sampey

Published on June 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

'Crazy Frog' ringtone is crazy expensive

In Europe, folks take their ringtones seriously: a simple electronic beeping will not do—the more elaborate the song the better. Now, according to a Reuters report, one of the most popular ringtones, which actually made it to the top of the pop music charts, is being investigated. When tots (lured by the cartoon frog on TV ads) purchase the ringtone over the Web, it turns out, they’re actually signing up for an expensive subscription service. The company that markets the ringtone has received over 100 complaints that the ads are misleading. One more reason that everyone should keep their phone, in AdFreak’s opinion, on vibrate.

—Posted by Mae Anderson

Published on June 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Nerds aren’t out of the woods just yet

Nerds have seen their stock rise dramatically in the Information Age. PBS even did that series called Triumph of the Nerds, exploring “how youthful amateurs, hippies and self-proclaimed ‘nerds’ accidentally changed the world.” But even as many a nerd makes peace with his painfully wedgied past via a six-figure IT salary, it’s helpful to remember that nerds are not completely rehabilitated, image-wise, by any means. As we speak, Vonage is stirring up some anti-nerd sentiment with its online banners to emphasize that its broadband phone service isn’t technologically baffling. “5 minute installation. No contracts. No nerds. No problem,” it says under the headline. We can feel the popular kids rushing to sign up.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Be afraid, very afraid, of NBC Nightly News

Last night, while preparing dinner for the family, I decided I’d tune into the NBC Nightly News as a backdrop to the sound of me dicing onions. By the end of the broadcast, I was pretty convinced that the positioning of the new Brian Williams-helmed broadcast is this: to scare the beJesus out of people; viewers will be so scared they’ll miss news of some life-endangering terrorist threat/chemical/food, they’ll be afraid not to tune in night after night. First, there was a report about how two Stanford eggheads have published, in minute detail, how terrorists could contaminate the nation’s milk supply. Then the broadcast moved onto stories about the second case of Mad Cow in the U.S., and an interminable discussion about how Teflon—which it turns out is used in much more than frying pans—is made using a chemical that is a likely carcinogen. But why stop with extensive coverage of the scariest headlines of the day? Then it was time to move onto how easy it is for hackers to figure out people’s passwords, in a story that featured a computer programmer who himself had been duped by a bogus email purporting to be from PayPal that asked for some personal information. After simmering chicken vindaloo in our one Teflon-free skillet, I had to resist the urge to shutter myself in a dark closet, preferably one not filled with Gore-Tex jackets, which, as you may have guessed, also contain the Teflon-linked carcinogen.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Credit: Kevin Mazur/NBC

Published on June 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you need these, you need help

Needies, a line of stuffed animals produced by Codependent Designs, provide a fascinating glimpse into the minds of the insane. The company's Web site calls them “interactive plush dolls inspired by codependent, high-maintenance relationships” that “compete with each other for human affection.” Attention is rewarded with songs and flattery, but if one Needie gets too much attention, the others “will conspire to take its place.” Sometimes, they even encourage their owners to neglect and abuse other Needies. How do they do this? Each Needie has an electronic nervous system, allowing it to sing, talk and feel jealousy. You know, there was a time when people sought out other people for affection and when simulating destructive relationships through toys would have been grounds for forced psychiatric care. Sadly, these are no longer the times in which we live. As a result, few words can describe how weirded out I am right now. Suffice it to say that I will never understand the appeal of being nagged by a stuffed animal.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on June 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Now batting, councilman Dave Fawcett

As politics degenerates into a blood sport, it’s only natural that someone would produce trading cards for it. Pittsburgh’s CivicCards is happy to oblige, printing glossy, colorful cards of elected officials as educational tools and, God willing, collectors items. The company is starting with local politicians but hopes to branch out into “sets for other cities or cards featuring the president and other federal officials.” Even though it reminds us a little of the old Iraq most-wanted cards, we like this idea. We only hope they don’t skimp on the fun facts. The exact measurements of Pat Toomey’s forehead? A list of jokes you can make with Dick Armey’s name? Al Gore’s planet of origin? All at your fingertips. Maybe they could do pundit cards, too. Now those would be keepers.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on June 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)
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Why do bad bands have such cool stuff?

Ever notice how the worst bands always have the coolest-looking stuff? Maybe they’re overly compensating, but awful musicians seem to grasp the fundamentals of marketing faster than everyone else. To me, a band’s merchandise—T-shirts, posters, stickers, buttons, etc.—should accurately reflect the quality of the band. Punk rock is one of the worst offenders, in that the lamest bands hawk all the tough-looking, DIY stuff. Good Charlotte, who’ve yet to release something even approaching real punk, have cool stuff including Level 27, a separate clothing line that caters to the “mascara and blood spatters” scenester crowd. The Casualties, an up-and-coming street punk band with crazy hair and negligible talent, have a mohawked skull logo that festoons their shirts, belt buckles and stickers. Again, the music lags behind. Who cares if they’ve been playing the exact same song forever? Twenty bucks will guarantee kids something that will offend their parents. The Misfits apply the same logic. They get worse (and lose band members) every year, but their stuff gets cooler and cooler. Thankfully, there is hope. Good bands with quality merchandise do still exist—they’re just harder to find. For example, North Carolina rockabilly band the Tremors sell glow-in-the-dark “Uranium Rock” shirts (in conjunction with an EP of the same name)—a fun gimmick with great campy artwork. As for their music, many North Carolinians consider them one of the best bands in the state. So let that be your guide into a world of quality entertainment.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on June 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)
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Saatchi collects celebrity scandal

Maybe Charles Saatchi should consider spending a little more time on the ad business, as it certainly seems a more noble pursuit than what he’s currently doing in the art world. According to a BBC report yesterday, the adman-cum-art-collector has purchased a painting of the place in Hollywood where Hugh Grant was arrested in 1995 for picking up a prostitute. But that’s not all. Saatchi earlier bought a work from the same artist—of the place where Winona Ryder was picked up for shoplifting a few years back. As one might expect, this genre of what could be called “scandal art” is being positioned as some sort of commentary about modern society. The artist, Dwayne Moser, says, “I am interested in turning the site of an off-screen event in a film star’s life into a backdrop—thus suggesting the very public nature of their ‘private’ lives.” And selling them for a tidy sum, we might add.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on June 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

A cure for cancer that can give you cancer

There's nothing like new cancer research to fill up column inches on a slow news day. On Tuesday, The New York Times reported on a new study that found that exposure to the sun reduces a man's risk of getting prostate cancer. Of course it also increases his chances of getting skin cancer.  Sun exposure, it turns out, prompts the body to produce Vitamin D, which inhibits prostate cancer cells. The Times story goes on at some length about the dangers of sun exposure to the skin and how men are probably better off taking a vitamin D supplement if they're worried about prostate cancer. The problem there is that no one really knows how much of the supplement has to be taken in order to be an effective inhibitor of prostate cancer. There are other steps men can take to ward off prostate cancer not mentioned in the Times article however. My urologist told me that the best prevention is to make sure that the gland is, well, stimulated. Early and often. He really said that. Forget the headache, honey, doctors orders! (You could also swear that medical studies show that going solo simply doesn’t have same health benefits, but that would be a lie.) Why do I have a strong suspicion The New York Post wouldn't have left that angle uncovered?

—Posted by Steve McClellan

Published on June 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

I’ll take the book proposal, hold the book

New York media types were abuzz last week when Women’s Wear Daily reported that Steve Florio was circulating a proposal for a book based on his days as an executive at Condé Nast—complete with bad-mouthing of erstwhile colleagues. Then, a report this Monday in The New York Times disclosed that Florio—abashed by publicity about the proposed book’s tell-all aspects—has decided not to write it after all. (Florio says that although he approved the text of the proposal, he didn’t write it himself.) Lost amid the idle gossip generated by this episode is an important principle: A book proposal is often far more satisfying than the book itself would be. Had Florio gone ahead with the book, it would have been a slog for him to write and for the rest of us to read. The book proposal, by contrast, has brought unalloyed pleasure to any number of people. How many actual books deserve such praise? One wishes, indeed, that there were a way to encourage the production of more book proposals and fewer books. Perhaps some enterprising publishing company could bring out a yearly anthology of proposals for books that have (thank heaven) remained unwritten. Or the folks at the National Book Award could bestow a National Unbook Award on the best such proposal. In discouraging the writing of bad books, they’d do at least as much for the cause of literature as they now accomplish by honoring good books.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on June 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)