Putting their fear of the King into words How did the fast-food wars become a frightfest? A while ago, we wrote about Ronald McDonald and coulrophobia—aka, fear of clowns. But in recent months, it’s Burger King’s mascot who’s been giving people the willies. Check out the fear and loathing that a quick blog search pulls up: “If I were to ever chop down a tree to find the creepy King standing behind it with a nasty sandwich on a silver platter ... well I would all of a sudden have a new use for my saw.” • “If I saw the Burger King standing at my bedroom window, behind a tree or at the other end of a log, I think I can safely say I would freak out completely. I would never eat anything he gave me.” • “If that sumbitch just appeared out of nowhere, I’d 1) mess myself; 2) kick him in the jimmy; 3) run like hell.” • “The reason why I have guns is in case I wake up and some creepy guy in a Burger King mask is looking in my window.” • “I had a nightmare last night that he was in league with the gophers in my backyard on a mission to mock me and destroy my lawn. He was standing at the back of my lot line with that disturbing permagrin and sending forth squadrons of the creepy little vermin to dig holes relentlessly.” • “If someone stalked me at work, was wearing a costume, wouldn’t say a word and then tried to offer me a sandwich, I’d call the police.” • “It’s just scarey [sic] to look at, especially when he pops up in all the wrong places.” • “He’s just a creepy S.O.B. I fear him like a clown.” —Posted by Tim Nudd

October 17, 2005 in Burger King | Permalink

Comments

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Those comments are a heck of a lot funnier than the commercials themselves. Especially the one about the gophers. Burger King should hire whoever wrote that to do one of their commercials.

Posted by: Joe Drimmer | Oct 17, 2005 9:57:36 AM

Now now....who's afraid of The King? I mean other than trying to push that worker on the skyscraper off to his death in the new BK Joe commercial, he's been pretty harmless so far.

Posted by: Mack Collier | Oct 17, 2005 3:33:28 PM

He's starting to look a little like Leona Helmsley. Only her perma-mask had a frown.

Posted by: Leroi DeBergere | Oct 19, 2005 2:23:00 PM

Well why in the name of God did BK name that creep "Flicky?" What on eaarth does that mean. I mean he wakes up in bed with men and to the sound of something running like a pump to pump up baloons but its really designed to make one think otherwise. Or it could be a lawn mower but still it sounds nasty. Then there is the one with the dude in the shower whipping open the curtain only to find that king standing there grinning with a burger. UGH!!! It's subtle perverted porn at its best.

Posted by: lenore1119 | May 5, 2006 9:57:30 PM

Well the way i see it having him wake up in bed with anyone doesn't have anything to do with selling burgers or hosting kids BD parties as BK ofted does. They give the impression of the King being creepy by having him always peeping in windows or the shower deal and even hanging out with construction workers. Notice it usually isn't women or kids in the ads either so what exactly are they trying to say about *Flicky*

Posted by: kingsnightmare | May 5, 2006 10:02:59 PM

check out subservientchicken.com
sick....

bk has gone over the top

Posted by: chickenfreak | Jun 6, 2006 9:38:23 PM

I agree, BK man is scary, and I guess you have to scare people into eating scary food.

Posted by: Darrell | Jul 31, 2006 2:02:45 PM

looking through windows all the time does indicate the guy is somewhat not right, i find him creepy

Posted by: Ahmed | Aug 4, 2006 12:43:41 PM

LONG LIVE THE KING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: the king | Dec 4, 2006 2:55:26 PM

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