Speed Stick Web short is Terry Tate redux

Someone passed AdFreak a link to this Speed Stick “Webisode” currently appearing at Maxim Online. It features a guy who takes hockey so seriously that he gets ultra-aggressive in his workaday office job, body-checking women into file cabinets, batting away mail as if he were a goalie, etc. It’s not that it didn’t make me laugh—it’s just that it’s so, so reminiscent of Reebok’s “Terry Tate” campaign of 2003 (see below), complete with the cut-away interview with the boss, who of course admires the guy’s take-no-prisoners attitude. No, this ain’t Apple/Lugz, and if you watch an earlier Webisode in the series called “King Pong” (also available on the Maxim site), you’ll see that, conceptually, the campaign goes in a different direction. Still, I have to wonder why no one at the agency or client realized, or cared, that the hockey short is so derivative.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Is that Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man?

Standing outside AdFreak’s offices just now, we spotted none other than Rob Huebel, aka Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man from BBDO Atlanta’s old Cingular Wireless cinema ads. It made us want to see those old ads again—and we found a few of them here, here and here. About halfway through the first trailer, note that Huebel blurts out, “Mauled by a tiger?!” Shortly after the ad began running, Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy did get mauled by a tiger, and the line was quickly excised. Amid a random Huebel search on Google, we found this humorous Gawker Stalker entry from 2004: “Half King, 1:30 a.m. Standing outside, it’s Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man. I have no clue what his real name is. I was tempted to walk by him while shouting ‘Marty you’re a joker!’ into my cell phone, but I imagine he gets that all ... the ... fucking ... time.” We didn’t approach him either.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Mozilla to launch 'Firefox Flicks'

Mozilla, maker of that little Web browser that could called Firefox, is asking people to send in their own promotional videos about Firefox as part of the launch of version 1.5, which is available for download as of today. We know there are a lot of Firefox fanatics out there, but we’re not quite sure how creative they are—last we knew, a bunch of them were painting an oversized Firefox logo somewhere at Oregon State. We’re just hoping that once the so-called "Firefox Flicks" are posted by Mozilla at spreadfirefox.com, they amount to more than people, hunched over their keyboards, getting all warm and fuzzy just because their browser has a really cool “Find” feature.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

With this beer, it's all in the belch

So there’s a guy—actually goes by the moniker “The Sound Guy”—in California who is selling the domain name and marketing materials to the product Belch Beer, though not the beer itself, if we’re reading this somewhat wacky press release correctly. The beer, said to be brewed by monks at Northwind Abbey in Belgium, brings on belching because the monks “have renounced all voluntary vocalization.” The brew’s tagline, "Belch Beer—so good, you'll want to taste it twice.” Hmmm ... would Anheuser-Busch contest the claim?

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Boone, Oakley exchange wedding vows

The holidays are becoming distinctly gay-themed in the ad world. First we got the TBWA\Chiat\Day party invite. Now, we’ve stumbled upon footage from John Boone and David Oakley’s wedding (click on “About” and then “The Wedding” to see the videos). Yes, the creative directors at Boone/Oakley in Charlotte, N.C., have tied the knot to celebrate five years in business together. “Oakley looked stunning in his formal gown, which his wife, Claire, helped him pick out and get fitted,” says the press release. “Says David Oakley, now David Oakley-Boone, ‘Today, with sadness, I close one chapter in my life. And I begin this new one with my beloved partner John, humbled by a deep sense of joy and wonder.’ ” We’re humbled, if that’s the word, by the video that shows Oakley, on a bathroom break, navigating his way around his wedding dress at the urinal.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Six Flags’ Mr. Six to get deep-sixed

Mr. Six memorabilia flies off the shelves. The look-alike contests draw hundreds. He has his own roller coaster, Mr. Six’s Pandemonium. All in all, Mr. Six has been a huge, if annoying, success. Despite this, Dan Snyder, who took control of Six Flags amusement parks along with two partners yesterday, plans to force the old spokesgeezer into retirement, the New York Post reports. Apparently, Snyder and his team want to shift the primary marketing focus from thrill-seeking teenagers to mothers with young children. Mr. Six did like to party, but the party’s over.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (30)

Kazakhs fight Borat with advertising

Not sure how we missed it, but on Monday the Kazakhstan government published a four-page ad section in The New York Times titled, “Kazakhstan in the 21st Century,” with the apparent goal of countering the horrid image of the country put forth by Borat Sagdiyev, the mock Kazakh TV personality played by Sacha Baron Cohen, also known as Ali G. The section had great things to say about Kazakhstan’s industries, its political and educational systems and its respect for women. This feud just keeps getting better and better. Earlier this month, Borat showed up at an MTV awards show in Europe, at which, among other things, he referred to Uzbeks as “assholes.” That drew sharp criticism from Kazakhstan, which in turn prompted Borat to write on his Web site, “Since the 2003 reforms, Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world. Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats and age of consent has been raised to 8 years old. Please, I invite you to come to Kazakhstan, where we have incredible natural resources, hard-working labor and some of the cleanest prostitutes in all of central Asia. Goodbye.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Among lovesick New Yorkers, there’s truth in advertising

Maybe there’s something to this whole “I love New York” advertising campaign. In a new survey by Quinnipiac University, 61 percent of residents polled said they do indeed “love” New York, 22 percent said they “like” New York, 15 percent had mixed feelings, and 1 percent said they “hate” the city. That 61 percent is the highest “love” vote registered by Quinnipiac since it started asking the question in the late 1990s. (The previous high was 59 percent, set in November 2002.) Also, a total of 75 percent of New Yorkers said they are “very satisfied” or “somewhat satisfied” with the way things are going in the city, one point off the all-time satisfaction high, set in February 1998. (The lowest satisfaction rate measured was 30 percent in July 2003.) Also, the press release helpfully points out the proper way to pronounce Quinnipiac. It’s KWIN-uh-pe-ack.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Chairman Mao, spinmeister extraordinaire

Now that many people expect the 21st century to be the “Chinese century,” in the way that the 20th is seen as the “American Century,” we must confess to a profound ignorance of many things Chinese, including the cuisine, which a good friend who hails from Beijing assures us is 90 percent inauthentic here in America. Anyhow, we plan to become more Sino-aware in the coming years, which is why a new book about Chairman Mao has piqued our interest. The authors of Mao: The Unknown Story say the mastermind behind the Cultural Revolution was not only a murderer and torturer on par with Hitler and Stalin, he was also the ultimate spinmeister. Most Westerners know little about Mao beyond his Andy Warhol portrait and the Beatles warning (“And if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao/Ya ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow”). Anyone out there qualified or knowledgeable enough to weigh in on your main man Mao and/or a sort of Cliff Notes version of Chinese history for Americans who need to get up to speed?

—Posted by Kathleen Sampey

Published on November 30, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (7)

’Tis the season to be naked and buff

So, it’s time for TBWA\Chiat\Day New York’s holiday party! And the theme is ... hmmm. Gay love? Self love? Gerry Graf love? A strange yet intoxicating mix of all three? Please send us the photos from this one.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Are sandwich boards cruel and unusual?

So, we’ve always known that walking around with a sandwich board is about as low as you can get in advertising (though the guys who hand out fliers for strip clubs are pretty low, too). Now, it seems, the job from which many out-of-work actors earn a paycheck has become a form of punishment. Apparently, the Supreme Court has decided that a man convicted of stealing mail can be compelled to wear a sandwich board that reads, “I have stolen mail. This is my punishment.” Lawyers for Shawn Gementera had appealed the sentence, imposed by a federal appeals court in San Francisco, claiming that it violated cruel and unusual punishment statues, but the Supreme Court rejected the case. Gementera, however, should be thanking his stars the court wasn’t up on the latest in street-advertising technology. Otherwise he’d probably have to wear a video confessing his crime.

—Posted by Aaron Baar

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

The online flea market grows and grows

With “Cyber Monday” just behind us (see the post below this one), we know that more and more Americans are buying stuff online. Less attention is paid to the fact that more and more Americans are selling stuff online. In a survey by the Pew Internet & American Life project, 17 percent of online adults reported having sold something over the Internet. “Tangible items like pink plastic Christmas trees, collectible coins, wedding dresses, automobiles, books, or CDs share web space with a myriad of intangibles including virtual weaponry and characters from online games (sold for real money) and services including everything from finding a French tutor, a personal trainer or someone to clean your aquarium.” As you’d guess, wired Gen Xers are more likely to have sold something online (26 percent have) than are Internet users over age 40 (13 percent). As this online version of the garage sale grows in scope, one wonders whether it will start to absorb a significant part of the acquisitive energies that consumers now devote to purchasing stuff from real retailers. Having bought the pink plastic Christmas tree of your dreams (from some guy in Altoona who’d been dreaming of getting rid of it), maybe you’ll sit around admiring it instead of going out to the mall.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's just another cyber Monday

Just like I don’t understand why people would get up at 5 o’clock in the morning the day after Thanksgiving to shop at Wal-Mart, I don’t understand the thinking behind “Cyber Monday.” In case you haven’t heard, it’s a term coined (pun fully intended!) by Shop.org, meant to denote the first Monday after Thanksgiving, when (it is said) people run to their computers and shop until they have an advanced case of carpal tunnel syndrome. What bunk. As this story on BusinessWeek.com points out, it’s actually only the 12th-biggest online shopping day historically, and my guess is that over time we’ll see that online Christmas shopping’s only predictable pattern is that millions of procrastinators will flock to major retailers like Amazon in the days right before Christmas, racking up huge shipping bills because they didn’t shop earlier. Black Friday, now seen as Cyber Monday’s offline counterpart, makes a certain kind of sense. Thanksgiving has long been the official starting bell for the Christmas season, and with a three-day weekend in front of them, many people—though not I—see it as the perfect time to get a head start on holiday shopping before retailers run out of the season’s hot toys. But online shoppers don’t have to obey any offline shopping rules: The stores don’t close, you can usually find that hard-to-find item on eBay, and you can always buy a few sweaters at Gap.com (assuming the site isn’t down for weeks on end) while the boss is in a meeting. Still, the press has jumped on the term Cyber Monday as if its ranks were filled by the same sorts of people who get up at 5 o’clock in the morning the day after Thanksgiving to shop at Wal-Mart because they’ve heard it’s what you’re meant to do. I have a Christmas wish—a small one—and it’s that the phrase “Cyber Monday” go the way of “information superhighway.”

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Thanksgiving

Britain shrinks in Virgin Trains viral

Virgin Trains is heartily embracing juvenile humor to attract younger travelers. On a new Web site called Littler Britain, a series of comical short films plays around with the idea that the U.K. is “shrinking” due to faster train times. In the first (and so far, only) video, an enormous rooster terrorizes a town, as residents scream things like, “Get that cock away from me!” and “That’s the biggest cock I’ve ever seen!” Get it?

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Would C.S. Lewis approve of this movie?

Recently we wondered whether moviegoers will be able to watch the ever-so-serious talking animals in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe without laughing inappropriately. Well, it turns out C.S. Lewis himself had reservations about the idea of live-action versions of his Narnia books. “Anthropomorphic animals, when taken out of narrative into actual visibility, always turn into buffoonery or nightmare,” Lewis wrote in 1959 to a BBC producer, in a letter published by nthposition and linked to by Cinematical. The ensuing discussion on Cinematical concerns, basically, whether the film violates Lewis’s vision or whether Lewis would change his mind today after witnessing CGI. Separately, here’s more from the Wall Street Journal on the grassroots marketing of the movie.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

More ghosts in the machine

Everyone thought The Ring was great, but personally, I found the idea of terror via videocassette to be a bit unconvincing. There’s something quite uncreepy (or unsupernatural, anyway) about modern technology. Which is why I’m skeptical about Pulse, a movie coming out next year in which a guy dies and then starts sending his buddies e-mails. You can imagine the conversations at the studio. “The kids liked the Scream movies.” “And the kids do love that e-mail!” Whether wireless-enabled ghosts are frightening remains to be seen. In any case, the film has a Web site, YouAreNowInfected.com, which has been set up to look like an FTP site. It’ll be updated steadily as the March 3 release date approaches. (Thanks to Movie Marketing Madness for the link.)

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Things to do in Iowa when you’re dead

We know what you should do before you die. But what about after? Are you thinking burial or cremation? Or maybe you’re considering the Ted Williams alternative, where they freeze you until a cure is found for whatever killed you. Well, there is another option. You can actually have your body tossed into a shallow pond or stuffed into the trunk of a car and left to rot. Legally. In the name of science. How cool is that? Yep, a University of Northern Iowa professor, Tyler O’Brien, is seeking a government grant to start the nation’s second “body farm,” where scientists study the effects of the elements on decomposing corpses. I just know there’s a CSI: tie-in here. Or Law & Order. Ripped from the headlines. Hundreds of donors have given their corpulent selves over to the first body farm in Tennessee, which has inspired several books, including Patricia Cornwell’s The Body Farm. Iowa resident Fred Crawford has pledged to donate his corpse. “The idea of being propped up against a tree to decompose sounds a whole lot better than being locked in a box and preserved under ground,” he says. Notice he didn’t mention the rodents. But at least the air isn’t as stuffy. And the view is better.

—Posted by Steve McClellan

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Lingerie mannequins have some competition

Visitors to New York may still crowd around the Macy’s windows to catch a glimpse of its tired Miracle on 34th Street diorama, but up in Augusta, Maine, people are really getting something to gawk at. A lingerie store by the name of Spellbound is reportedly holding male shoppers in the self-same state after replacing its mannequins with real live girls. While some people have complained—no doubt the mothers of small boys until now distracted simply by a plastic nipple under a silk shirt—others are happy for the extra traffic. “It’s like a New York thing. It’s urban. It’s edgy,” says Stacy Gervais, owner of nearby Stacy’s Hallmark Store and founder of a downtown merchant’s group. While you may have paid 25 cents for such a show in Times Square, I haven’t seen anything like it in store windows in these parts. Dear readers, correct me if I’m wrong.

—Posted by Deanna Zammit

Published on November 29, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ronald McDonald robs Wendy’s

So it looks like Ronald McDonald has been arrested for burglarizing a Wendy’s restaurant. No, really. Well, sort of.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Wendy's

A press release written with us in mind

Sometimes the PR materials we get are worth reprinting in their entirety. For example, the caption accompanying this photo, which just arrived in our inbox: “U.S. Postmaster General John Potter introduces Vonzell Solomon, former U.S. postal worker and American Idol finalist, at the special tree-lighting ceremony at ‘The Pond’ at Bryant Park, flanked by Royal Canadian Mounties. The 55-foot-tall, 8-ton tree, from the ‘Balsam Fir Christmas Tree Capital of the World,’ Lunenburg, Nova Scotia, was provided by the Canadian Tourism Commission.” The USPS meets American Idol meets Canadian tourism? Such synergy! There’s a story that will practically write itself. Just not by us.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Who will save the old Pabst bottle?

Dennis Hopper helped Pabst Blue Ribbon set the bar for scummy-chic in that scene from Blue Velvet. (“What kind of beer you drink, neighbor?” “Heineken.” “Heineken? F*ck that sh*t! Pabst Blue Ribbon!”) Less valuable to the brand, it would seem, is the 60-foot-tall, 75-year-old copper-coated bottle that rises from the old Pabst Brewery in Newark, N.J., and whose fate is uncertain now that the brewery is being demolished. The new owners of the land claim that they want to honor the area’s history by incorporating the bottle into a local park. But really, who would want to play in the shadow of this monstrosity? Then again, PBR does prize its history. As it says on the Web site, PBR was “selected as America’s Best in 1893.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Photo: Justin Makler

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Where did that company get its name?

Just about everyone knows what IBM stands for, and Hewlett-Packard is named for its founders, but what about the more obscure origins of company names? This strangely enjoyable page on Wikipedia demystifies some offbeat corporate names like Apple Computer and also explains ones that may never have puzzled anyone but are still interesting, like Adidas and Cisco. (This being Wikipedia, we don’t vouch for the accuracy of all the listings, of course.) Check out the histories of Glock, Häagen-Dazs and Kinko’s. And finally! One that made no sense is explained (sort of): eBay was originally supposed to be called Echo Bay. Here’s the Wikipedia blurb: “ ‘It just sounded cool,’ founder Pierre Omidyar reportedly said. When he tried to register EchoBay.com, though, he found that Echo Bay Mines, a gold mining company, had gotten it first. So, Omidyar registered what (at the time) he thought was the second best name: eBay.com.” I still don’t get why that’s the name of an online auction site, but whatever floats the guy’s boat.

—Posted by Celeste Ward

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Mr. Mucus, meet Ricola’s Mr. E. Cougher

In a promotion that gives a whole new meaning to the term viral marketing, Ricola is encouraging people to seek out a certain Mr. E. Cougher (get it? Mystery Cougher?), who will be traveling to cities across the country and hacking away until someone offers her (yes, it’s a her) a Ricola lozenge. The doler-outers could win as much as $1 million. The company is offering hints online for those who want to take the chance that instead of winning prize money, they’ll be infected with some egregious disease. The Cougher herself, tracked down by the Boston Herald, was picked from among thousands for the job. “I went through some extensive cough training—releasing my nasal drip, nose blowing, extended exposure to the elements,” she says. Weird.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Let us now praise phallic logos

This site has been up for a while, but in case you haven’t seen it, we’re linking to it anyway, in the spirit of holiday-season giving. It’s b3ta’s Phallic Logo Awards! And there are some dandies. Does the Brazilian Institute for Oriental Studies (supposed logo shown here) even exist? It almost doesn’t matter. The intro copy on the site reads, “The game designers across the nation are playing is: can they design a logo and get it approved without the client realizing it’s a big ...” well, you get the idea.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

The evil spirits at Parker Brothers

Some sticks in the mud over at Parker Brothers are taking all the fun out of what could be a perfectly frightening movie. The game company charged so much for the rights to the term ouija board, which it owns, that the filmmakers had to give up trying. The movie, about an incident in 1920 when the town of El Cerrito, Calif., went mad for ouija boards and much chaos ensued, had a working title of, yes, Ouija Board. It now has to cut out any and all references to the term. What the hell are they going to call it now? Even more important, why is a maker of kids games producing something to contact the dead? Doesn’t that seem out of their league? They should stick to Yahtzee and leave that eerie business to the pros. Or to these guys. Nothing scares them.

—Posted by Celeste Ward

Published on November 28, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)