Jessica's cleavage is a wartime inspiration

Inspiration comes in many forms. In Jessica Simpson’s case, her ABC special, Nick and Jessica’s Tour of Duty, inspired her to participate in GQ’s homage to wartime glamour girls. Meeting troops in Iraq and Germany left quite an impression on Jessica, who described them as “the most spectacular people,” and marveled at what they’d seen. "It just blew my mind," she said, as quoted by MTV News. "These guys—just kids, 20 years old, sent into Iraq two days prior. And they were in suicide bombings or attacked in Humvees. And it's like, you just try to hold yourself together." So what exactly does Jessica’s contribution to the war effort entail? Quite a bit actually, as the GQ spread captures her climbing rope in camouflage underwear (insert awkward gym class reference here), cavorting in an American flag bikini, and crawling on all fours in combat boots. A bit cheesy perhaps, but to quote Jessica herself, “that's why I'm there! To bring smiles, even if I have to show a little cleavage." How very American.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 8, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Fanta-spitting OK'ed after 9 p.m.

Fanta’s ads are often weird, creepy and foreign, but now there is one that has been banned before 9 p.m. in Britain. A TV spot in the U.K. for the fruity soft drink, that shows actors spitting it out, has been relegated to late evening hours, because children were copying it. The Advertising Standards Authority got 272 official complaints, most likely from 272 angry parents, and issued this profound statement: “Spitting is widely perceived as anti-social.” Fanta said the spot, which was produced by Mother, was aimed at 16 to 24-year olds and it didn’t mean to offend anyone. It just aimed to ruin carpeting across the world, I guess.

—Posted by Celeste Ward

Published on July 8, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Milking Lance's last ride

Without Lance Armstrong and the Tour de France, the Outdoor Life Network would be in a pickle. Its primetime programming during the 49 other weeks of the year tends to consist of rodeo and fishing, with ratings that make The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch look like Friends. This being Lance’s final Tour, OLN is not missing a beat getting its money’s worth from the perpetual maillot jaune. This year’s telecast is replete with product tie-ins and obligatory references to Lance approximately every five seconds. The broadcasters, including the indomitable Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwin, are clad in L.L.Bean shirts and fleece jackets. AMD and Trek have a segment to show how they build Lance’s bikes. OLN also lets its commentators shill their own Lance-related products. Former Tour rider and official Friend-of-Lance Bob Roll, who shuns the faux French by calling the race the “Tour DAY France,” hosts a Tour 101 segment tied to his instructional guide, Tour de France Companion 2005. Even Lance’s longtime coach Chris Carmichael is hauled out every night to add his two cents on Lance—and shill his line of training programs and nutrition books.

—Posted by Brian Morrissey

Credit: PR Newswire/Newscom

Published on July 8, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Mickey Mouse loves you ... and your phone

In last year's Wilder-esque In Good Company Topher Grace becomes a marketing wunderkind by marketing cell phones shaped like dinosaurs for the "untapped under-five market." Someone at Disney must have been paying attention, because they've just signed a deal with Sprint to create Disney-branded content for phones. The deal, reported yesterday in Newsday, allows both companies to better target kids, who are one of the fastest growing segments of cell phone users; some 40 percent of kids aged 12 to 14 owned cell phones at the end of last year, up from just 13 percent in 2002. In addition, about 80 percent of adults have cell phones, the story states. We can see it now. Remember those Mickey Mouse talking phones where Minnie and Mickey would call you to tell you how special you are? Soon, we bet you'll be special at the rate of $1 a minute.

—Posted by Mae Anderson

Credit: PR Newsire/Newscom

Published on July 8, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Is Depp's Wonka whacked or wonderful?

It must be said: after seeing previews of the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake, I don’t have particularly high hopes. There’s a fine line, which the original handled very well, between Willy Wonka’s seemingly harmless eccentricity and his underlying sketchiness. But director Tim Burton, as usual, appears to have gotten too caught up in the latter. (Also, Johnnny Depp’s costume and makeup makes him look like the girl from Amelie—see art at left.) What I’m hoping they won’t do is shift the previews’ mood from unnerving children’s book adaptation to zany comedy all within the length of the promo. The Stepford Wives remake did that, and it both confused the hell out of me and kept me from seeing it. It’s possible to strike a balance between the two elements, but if a preview can’t decide between creepy and goofy, it ruins the appeal of the movie.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 8, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (11)

Underwear: it's not just skivvies anymore

After seeing 2(x)ist ads plastered on every flat surface in Manhattan, it’s only natural that I wanted to indulge my curiosity and find out what exactly 2(x)ist is. As it turns out, the posters of sinister, greased-up men in their underwear were actually selling … underwear. But, as 2xist.com proudly testifies, it’s not just any underwear. According to the site’s “About” section, 2(x)ist “will take you from home to out on the town in comfort and style,” and is a brand that continues “to refine—and redefine—men's underwear expectations.” I wasn’t aware that I even had those, let alone that they needed updating. 2(x)ist also brags about being cut specifically for a man’s body, making the female models on its site seem just a tad gratuitous. As for the innovative marketing the site brags about, I think I’ve seen the campaign’s collection of men with distant expressions on their faces many times before—for example, in ads for Calvin Klein Underwear. But I digress. 2(x)ist has certainly “taken underwear to a new dimension.” I just wish I knew which one.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 8, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Iacocca's back, but that's not good

Let’s start by at least admitting that Chrysler’s apparent decision to rehire Lee Iacocca to appear in its ads is a better idea than the automaker’s off-the-wall initiative a few years back to make Celine Dion the center of its marketing efforts. That having been said, bringing Iacocca back in front of the camera is—forgive the pun—an unnecessary retread. Sure, the guy has been around the auto industry for a long time (witness this picture of him with a fellow Ford exec in the 1960s before he joined Chrysler), but that’s part of the problem. Most of the people domestic car companies most need to court—i.e., young adults—are unlikely to connect with an 80-year-old who starred in Chrysler ads almost 25 years ago, let alone get the historical reference to his pitchman past.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Photo credit: Ford

Published on July 7, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Donald Trump is offering me a condo?

Like most of us, one of my current hobbies is looking for signs that the real estate bubble is about to burst. And before I got a chance to post anything to AdFreak about the most recent sign I found—that I, a mere writer had received an email solicitation offering me pre-construction details on Trump Towers Miami—I got a second email solicitation for a new condo development, called Paramount Beach, also in Miami. (A sketch of Trump Towers is pictured here.) Far as I know, I didn’t opt-in to receive emails about seven-figure condos, but whatever the case, despite how inexpensive email marketing is, these emails can’t be a good sign.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on July 7, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Hire Gary 'cuz he has his own billboard

After a New Yorker recently put a personal ad on a billboard and launched a Web site to find the woman of his dreams, it seems perfectly logical that a man in Wisconsin would try the same stunt to land himself a job. Gary Radke, 35, a marketing executive from Bellevue, recently paid for a billboard on his town’s Main Street in hopes he would find work after being laid off from the Weidner Center for the Performing Arts. The billboard directs people to HireGary.net (where Radke has his own blog), and Radke reports he has received two job leads. Radke did not reveal how much the billboard cost him, but he says, “It’s a little bit of a pricey investment, but if it lands me a job, it’s well worth it.”

—Posted by Celeste Ward

Published on July 7, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Stow your tray table and bring your own damn pretzels

Add US Airways to the list of pretzel-abstaining airlines. Starting in September the company will stop offering the salty snacks on its domestic flights in order to save $1 million, according to this story from the AP. Last month US Airways began selling chips, candy and beef jerky for $3. Northwest Airlines made a similar move in May when it replaced pretzels with $1 bags of trail mix. I know many airlines are in trouble, so I can sympathize with these developments. Plus, I don’t like pretzels. But why can’t they replace them with something tasty, especially if travelers have to fork over a few bucks? I think the last time I ate trail mix was 1985.

—Posted by Lisa van der Pool

Published on July 7, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

NHL teams to lower ticket prices! Or not

How will the NHL win back fans after a lockout that has alienated them? By doing ... uh ... something. Exactly half of the teams refused to answer questions about ticket prices for the coming season, according to an article in Toronto's Globe and Mail. Most of those teams’ silence will continue until the lockout is officially over and terms are set. Of the remaining half, ten plan to lower ticket prices, and four do not. Some of the franchises have gotten fairly creative in implementing discounts. The Ottawa Senators, for example, are “providing a rebate of 5 percent for the 2005-06 season. Ticket holders who left the entire amount of their 2004-05 money on account will receive 7.5-percent interest.” Other teams, like the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, are cutting costs for fans who buy multiple tickets at once. But I think there is more to regaining the patronage of one’s fan base than cheaper tickets. Additional incentives are needed to rebuild faith and interest in the sport—and no, I'm not talking about an increase in violence, which some people believe is an integral part of the game. I’ve always been a fan of gimmick nights; those encourage safe fan participation, and would help a lot if combined with, say, cheaper concessions for those who participate.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 7, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Sugartown invite nothing to sniff at

According to an invitation that arrived at AdFreak central today, Sugartown Creative—which began life when Margeotes execs Jolie DeFeis and Fritz Westenberger jumped ship and paddled the lifeboat Bombay Sapphire to independence—is celebrating its first birthday. Which would make 2004 the year of its inception. But it seems the duo are more keen on celebrating 1984, considering the Bright Lights Big City theme of the boxed invite, which comes with a mirror, a rolled-up dollar bill and a tiny bag of ... powdered sugar. (Yes, I tasted it. It was primo.) At the party, the invite says, you may find “treats you haven’t enjoyed since those sweaty nights at Xenon” and “beautiful people of all sexes and persuasions who we’ve paid to be especially ‘friendly.’ ” Blow, pills, hookers—is Pat O’Brien invited? Personally, my closest brush with the ’80s party scene was the episode of Growing Pains where Mike Seaver and Boner were invited by a couple of college girls to share a little “nose candy.” I also remember B-52’s chanteuse Kate Pierson, who reportedly will be swinging ’80s style on the shop’s roofdeck. With any luck, the bash will be both educational and entertaining, just like that episode of Growing Pains.

—Posted by Deanna Zammit

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Product placement that’s to die for

To honor “one of the biggest Steelers fans in the universe,” the friends and family of James Henry Smith, 55, who died last week of prostate cancer, did a strange thing: For the viewing at the funeral home, they re-created his typical Sunday living-room scene, complete with Smith laid out on his recliner. “In silk black-and-gold pajamas, velvety black robe and slippers, James Henry Smith is at rest,” goes the story in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “His feet are crossed, his pack of cigarettes and a beer by his side. Steelers highlights are playing on a high-definition TV screen nearby. With the TV remote in his hand, leaning back in his recliner, a Steelers blanket across his legs, it’s like a game-day Sunday. Except that it’s not.” Now, not to be crass about this, but talk about product placement! What kind of smokes were they? What brand of beer? Was that a Sony high-def TV or a Samsung? Have we been completely ignoring another great venue for branding? Well, maybe not completely. The funeral director in the Post-Gazette story does say that some families of young men have asked that their loved ones be laid out in popular hip-hop clothing brands like Fubu and Pelle-Pelle.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Phew! New York won't host the Olympics

As a New Yorker (OK, I live in the suburbs now, but my 18 years in Gotham give me lifetime membership), I’m glad to see the Olympic Games won’t be in New York in 2012. To me, the endless shilling of New York as a great place to hold the Olympics was a little embarrassing, the relentless sucking up to Olympic officials by everyone from Hillary Clinton to Muhammad Ali to Henry Kissinger excruciating. And those NYC 2012 stickers on the subway cars always left me with the feeling that if I didn’t fall in line with the city’s official pro-Olympic sentiment, something bad would happen. Don’t get me wrong. I think this would be a fantastic place for the Games. But the scenario that would befit the greatest city on Earth would start with Olympic officials begging and pleading New York to host the Games, only to have city officials blow them off. Then, when all other options proved so obviously unsuitable, New York would grudgingly agree to host, all while having the entire thing financed not by taxpayers but by huge international corporations that want their slice of the Big Apple. A girl can dream, can’t she?

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Say hello to the talking wine label

Finally, a toy for grownups. Reuters reports that “a ‘talking’ wine label could soon tell consumers in Italy everything they want to know about a particular bottle—from its production history to the kind of food it should accompany.” A company called Modulgraf plans to launch the product in Milan’s November wine fair. It’s actually a small chip that, when implanted in the bottle, can be listened to “with a small device about the size of a cigarette package.” “The idea is to bring the oenologist to the table so that each wine can explain itself in the first person,” says Modulgraf’s Daniele Barontini. The company also says it would help prevent counterfeiting. As weird as it might seem to be spoken to by comestibles, talking products are hardly new. Web sites are devoted to them here as well as here. They even have talking labels for medication. Why, the day may come when you could strike up a conversation with any object in your house. And that day could mark the end of humans as social animals. Why go to the bar when both your couch and your beer will talk to you?

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Who invited TrimSpa to Live 8?

Did anyone notice that one of the advertisers in regular rotation, at least in New York, during MTV/VH1’s broadcast of Live 8 was none other than TrimSpa? AdFreak is hoping that was a regional buy, not a national one. (And we're guessing—praying, really—that it was a general MTV Networks buy and not specific to this event.) Still, it’s jaw-dropping, considering Live 8 was designed to rally support for the cause of ending poverty—and specifically, hunger—in Africa. We remember Bob Geldof saying something about how many millions of children will go hungry tonight. Cut to spots featuring men and women with before-and-after photos talking about how much weight they lost in a matter of months. As a university English professor of ours once said, a big chunk of the world is starving, and America is on a diet.

—Posted by Andrew McMains

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Behold the wooden iPod

Now that we’ve seen the wooden iPod, we’re sure that its creator, Joshua Driggs, has some sort of fetishistic thing going on. But whether it’s about the iPod or about wood isn’t entirely clear. The wooden iPod, as pictured here, is made out of a grain called African Padauk, along with Lexan plastic for the screen and Envirotex Lite to give it the glossy finish of a real iPod. (It seems a bit weird to make a wooden iPod shine in the synthetic manner of a real iPod, but who are we to judge the thinking behind this masterpiece?) The strangest part is that the wooden iPod actually works; Driggs took off its original casing and kept the innards. Even though, as you can probably tell, we think the wooden iPod a bit odd, there may be a market for it. Though Steve Jobs has been accused of not having much of a feel for history, the wooden iPod might fit into many Americans’ nostalgic longings, as epitomized by entertainment centers made to look like antique armoires and CD players made to look like radios from the 1930s.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Maybe that stray comma does matter

For readers who still think a healthy respect for language doesn’t matter much in advertising, have a gander at this story. It reports on a grammatical error that has made anti-drug ads in North Miami Beach “look like local police are supplying drugs, not crusading against drug use.” The signs read, “Say no to drugs from the NMB Police D.A.R.E. Officers.” Clearly missing is some sort of punctuation that would cast the cops as opponents of drugs rather than dealers of them. Oops! The signs, which were placed around town as a public service, will be taken down. Let’s hope the D.A.R.E. cops can get their act together and oneify their message.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

The sad story of the Swiss Army Knife

Having lost one myself at an airport check-in, it shouldn’t come as a great surprise that the Swiss Army Knife has hit hard times in the years since 9/11. Sales plummeted 40 percent following the terrorist strike nearly four years ago and have never fully recovered. Victorinox, the Swiss company that first began manufacturing the combination pocket knife/bottle and can opener/file for the famously neutral Swiss Army in 1884, is still in business. But the only other company licensed to make the famous blade, Wegner SA, went out of business in April. In their heyday before 9/11, the knives were actually sold aboard planes (including British Airways) and were widely available in duty-free shops. Not anymore. But Carl Elsener, great-grandson of Victorinox founder Karl Elsener, tells the Guardian he’s determined to keep the company afloat with new products that adapt to changing times. He’s even come up with “blade-free” version of the implement (hard to call it a knife, really) for, you guessed it, air travel. So while you can’t whittle away the hours as you’re crossing the continent, you can crack open a bottle of your favorite ale with your blade-free device. You may have to bring your own bottle, however. All the airlines I’ve been on serve brew from flip-top cans. Of course, I’ve never been on British Airways. And I’ve never had a flight attendant try to sell me a blade, Swiss Army or otherwise.

—Posted by Steve McClellan

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Support for those needy article tools

If you’ve been on NYTimes.com lately, you may have noticed that all the “article tools”—the links that let you e-mail a story to a friend or reformat it for printing—are currently being “sponsored” by the DVD release of Kinsey. This probably isn’t a new thing, but isn’t it kind of silly? Certainly it’s a nice spot for an ad—within the editorial area and all. But a sponsorship? Do article tools really need sponsors? Will they really go under without corporate backing? Don’t they sort of operate automatically through a software program—unlike, say, a concert series, a sporting event or a philanthropic organization, which might actually be worth putting one’s money into and logo on?

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Unilever wants kids to be active, too

Isn’t there anyone left who wants kids to enjoy the lazy days of summer? On the heels of a new study that says having a TV in your bedroom will ruin your grades and your life, Unilever is encouraging kids in the U.K. to get off their asses and do something. But unlike McDonald’s (which of course is revamping Ronald into a snowboarding, basketball-slamming, race-running jock), Unilever’s goals aren’t all about kids’ health. Yes, exercising will make kids thinner and presumably healthier. But it will also make them dirtier—allowing Unilever to sell more Persil laundry detergent. Still, it’s hard to argue with a company that’s trying to get people to embrace all things childlike, and the list of 33 things to do before you’re 10 is quite charming (though collecting “frogspawn” has never been high on my list).

—Posted by Aaron Baar

Published on July 6, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Is Finnish food really that horrible?

One is accustomed to gibes about British cuisine. But who knew that Finnish food is reputed to be even worse? In his latest lapse into undiplomatic speech, French president Jacques Chirac reportedly made jokes this week about the horrors of Britain’s cooking—by comparing it unfavorably to the Finnish variety. “After Finland, it’s the country with the worst food,” he’s quoted as having said to Russia’s president and Germany’s chancellor, and within earshot of a reporter from French newspaper Libération. It turns out this is the second time in as many weeks that a European leader made disparaging remarks about Finnish cuisine. Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi did so in late June at the opening in Parma of the European Food Safety Authority. Recalling that Italy had bested Finland in a heated contest to host the agency’s headquarters, he remarked on having “had to endure Finnish food” himself and added a dig about “Finnish smoked reindeer.” The Finnish foreign ministry summoned Italy’s ambassador in Helsinki for urgent talks about the matter. Moreover, fuming Finns have begun agitating for a boycott of Italian produce. Then again, if Finland actually imported a lot of Italian food, maybe the leader of Italy wouldn’t take such a dim view of Finnish cookery. In the meantime, AdFreak urges brands like Finlandia Cheese and Finlandia Vodka to boost their advertising and promotional budgets in an effort to restore the good name of Finnish food and drink. Cheese and vodka tastings for the press might be a suitable place to start.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on July 5, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

As if Tijuana weren’t colorful enough

Flamboyant mayor Jorge Hank Rhon has given street vendors in Tijuana, Mexico, a choice: Wear goofy stuff or leave. A new weekend dress code for vendors has taken effect in a pedestrian mall and will gradually extend across the city. Some outfits include brightly colored ribbons as trim; others are emblazoned with the word Mexico from head to toe. The point of all this is to showcase the city’s melting pot of Mexican cultures, enabling tourists to “feel Mexico,” something apparently no longer guaranteed by simply visiting Mexico. Not that vendors have been paying much attention. And why would they? We’re guessing most people don’t go to Tijuana for the costumes. And yet who could pass up paying $5 for a photo in a donkey cart with a guy wearing a giant “Mr. Viagra” sombrero?

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 5, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Kellogg’s ain’t down with the drug slang

Like countless well-meaning companies before it, Kellogg’s has run into a marketing snag overseas. The London Line reports that Kellogg’s Coco Rocks cereal, a successor to Coco Pops that launched in the U.K. this year, has become a laughingstock among drug users, who knew something Kellogg’s didn’t—that “coco rocks” is slang for dark brown crack cocaine that’s been mixed with chocolate pudding during production (we can hear Bill Cosby sobbing already). To be fair, you can’t really blame Kellogg’s for not keeping up to date on British drug-culture lingo. But drug-advice charity Drugstop claims to have added the term to its database two years ago, and correctly predicted that the cereal company would be upset when it found out about the mishap. Still, this is hardly a major faux pas. Anyone remember Homo Sausage beef jerky?

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on July 5, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Should Hollywood blame the trailers?

Despite the Sturm und Drang about the historic downturn in the Hollywood box office—a convenient gnashing of teeth, considering that the aftermarket of video, DVD and cable has been the real font of revenue since the mid-1980s—movie marketing has somehow escaped criticism. That’s peculiar, considering that what trailers basically do is assure people that there will be nothing new for them to see in the foreseeable future. Trailers for your standard action picture are virtually indistinguishable in tone, emphasis and effects (from the stuttered ramping slo-mo to the jail-door-slamming sounds punctuating every predictable edit). Now, adolescent fare is being cooked into the same pabulum: The trailers for Rebound (basketball) and Bad News Bears (baseball), for example, are both constructed according to an excruciatingly exact template. In the setup, both coaches (Martin Lawrence, Billy Bob Thornton) get in goofy trouble. Both mid-sections emphasize W.C. Fields-like cruelty toward children, reconstituted for a post-Farrelly Brothers world. The “hilarious” incompetence of both teams is depicted next, before the politically correct “solution” arrives: the girl who is better than all the boys. By the end, both coaches love their respective teams, and each team (thanks be to tomboys) rolls to victory. These trailers leave only two rhetorical questions to the imagination: “Haven’t I seen this movie already?” and “Is there anything left in the movie we haven’t just seen?”

—Posted by Gregory Solman

Published on July 5, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)