Put your witty advertising banter to work

Judging by the high level of insightful and biting commentary we receive in response to many of our postings, many of you readers out there believe you would make decent advertising bloggers. Well, your ship may have come in. Someone recently posted this Craigslist ad looking for an “intelligent and witty blog-master” for a “newly launched blog about the advertising industry.” “The ideal candidate possesses exemplary interpersonal and communication skills (especially written), and is actively involved in the advertising industry,” the post states. The good folks over at Adland are speculating that this might be the work of Jeremy Wright from Ensight.org.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 23, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Martha Burk takes on the NHL

Martha Burk, the woman who challenged the Augusta National Golf Club to admit women members, is now targeting the NHL, claiming that the league’s upcoming ad campaign is sexist. One new spot, screened in New York this week and set to break next week, shows a hockey player being dressed for a game by his female partner. Toward the end, a young boy is shown cheering as the player walks to the ice. “The woman is dressed provocatively, and when she asks the player if he’s ready, it’s a double-entendre in my view,” Burk tells the Toronto Star. “She’s in the ad as a groomer, a sex object. The commercial is clearly selling sex and violence, and the last image in that commercial is a young boy watching this, so he’s clearly the customer they’re after, or it’s a misguided attempt to draw in families. The ad is just gratuitous.” Burk is organizing a letter-writing campaign to pressure the league over the ad. An NHL rep says the spot shows “no disrespect for women.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 23, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

(Some) Gap.com shoppers held hostage: Day 26

If you haven't noticed, we're keeping track of the Gap.com Web site, which now has been down for at least 26 days, unless you happen to visit it enough that you get a notice that you're one of a "limited" number of people who can get into it. (There's nothing we really want to buy, but now we're one of 'em.) There are a few other developments we'd like to share. For one, an AdFreak reader sent us this link to a story in the International Herald Tribune about the site closures. (The Old Navy and Banana Republic sites have been down at various times, too, during the company's e-commerce rebuild.) Though the story quotes only one analyst, Carrie Johnson of Forrester Research, it claims that multiple analysts are high on the site changes, and that the sites will "leapfrog" other online stores. Meanwhile, former eToys CEO Toby Lenk, president of Gap Inc. Direct, says the closures were necessary because of extensive backend work that is part of the renovation. (We know that some people are skeptical about that sort of explanation; we're just telling you what he said.) Oh, also, if you want to see a director's cut of the current commercials, click here. That page also provides a backdoor to the online store in the bottom right-hand corner. If you look around, tell us what you think.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 23, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Dell’s Mitch Ferrence can teach you a little something

Dell is launching a new MP3 player, called the DJ Ditty, with what it says is primarily a word-of-mouth campaign—getting the word out through employees and customer focus groups. The company is pushing consumers to a new Web site, DellDitty.com, which includes some humorous instructional videos starring “Mitch Ferrence,” a cheesy, track-suit-clad guy who shows you how to dance, lip sync, play air guitar and so on like a complete ass. (“The Dell DJ Ditty maximizes your music. Instructor Mitch Ferrence maximizes your ditty.”) The site is also full of comically bloviated sayings, like “Your face is your stage, but your ears are the door to the theater.” 

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 23, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

‘Onion’ spoofs Oprah’s Pontiac giveaway

Last September, when Oprah Winfrey gave away Pontiac G6s free to all 276 of the audience members attending one of her TV-show tapings, it was hailed as new milestone in product placement. Marking the one-year anniversary of the stunt, The Onion now weighs in with a humorous cover story headlined, “Oprah Stuns Audience With Free Man Giveaway.” “The men Winfrey gave away are guaranteed to enjoy snuggling, to find the few extra pounds gained over time ‘cute,’ and to have read at least three books by the poet Maya Angelou,” the story reads. “ ‘Oh, I love Maya,’ said one of the giveaway men, 32-year-old electrical engineer Doug Jefferson, who also enjoys warm, comfy sweaters. ‘I think she’s very brave. Heck, I love poetry in general. Who doesn’t?’ ”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Image: The Onion

Published on September 23, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Will the real Martha please stand up?

It felt like somewhat of a duty to tune into Martha Stewart’s version of The Apprentice last night. After all, Martha’s pre- and post- prison positioning is one of the most interesting branding studies anywhere. Thus, we were somewhat surprised to find that the show—even though, granted, it’s a spinoff of the Donald’s Apprentice—was so much like its sibling. We’d expected something with a few more differences than what we got—which pretty much amounted to Eurythmics' “Sweet Dreams” as the theme song and the closing touch in which Martha pulls out a piece of paper and writes a condolence letter to the person who just got canned. (Actually, that was a welcome break from listening to the tossed job candidate get in one last backstab from the safety of a cab, which is the closer on That Other Apprentice.) Certainly, Martha was on best behavior last night, showing none of the less admirable traits she allegedly has. She came off as polished, but warm. Therein lies the show’s dramatic tension, though. With Donald Trump you know exactly what you’re getting. With Martha, we’ll be watching and waiting all season long for that moment when the Martha we’ve read about in less-than-reputable publications, heard about in court testimony and seen in made-for-TV movies makes a primetime appearance.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Talk about rolling out a campaign

Undivided attention is hard for any advertiser to come by.  But one company thinks it just might have the right medium for your message.  Justtoiletpaper.com is selling space on its rolls at rates that are highly competitive.  For just $3.25, you get a 325-sheet roll in four colors. A minimum order is 5,000 rolls. Pointing out that people go to the bathroom on average six times per day, the site describes its product as “a surefire way to grab people’s attention.” Of course, the kinds of clients willing to advertise on toilet paper are probably limited.  Then again, it might be ideal for any political candidate who wants to “go negative.”

—Posted by Richard Williamson

Published on September 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Florida journo students get ad lesson

Journalism students at the University of Florida are getting an early lesson about the consequences of publishing something that offends government officials—and puts ad revenue in jeopardy. This week, the president of the student government at the university issued an executive order halting all the governing body’s advertising in the campus paper, The Alligator. The student senate supported the president with a resolution censuring the “irresponsible attitude” of the paper. Now, members of the student government are urging local businesses to pull their advertising. The controversy? A political cartoon that used a racial slur for African-Americans. The editor of the paper defends the cartoon for making a salient point about racism and refuses to apologize. It is probably good training for aspiring journalists. Perhaps they will be a bit more prepared in case the President of the United States ever turns to his vice president and refers to one of them as “a major league asshole.”

—Posted by Jim Lovel

Published on September 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Red Sox fans need not apply

We heard a pitch on Newsradio 88 yesterday in New York that caught our attention even though we’re a long suffering Mets fan. It wasn’t the service—which offers to help New Yorkers beat the rap on parking tickets—that had us almost flying through a stop sign as we drove along; it was its grand opening promotional offer. Called beattix.com, the service says it will fight the parking tickets of Yankee fans for free who get nabbed during home games for the rest of the 2005 season. All they need do is send along the ticket, car registration and “an agreement that acknowledges that you’re Yankees fan [sic] and any applicable evidence such as a photograph or a statement.” But it doesn’t stop there. No. Both the radio ad and the site make it clear that the offer “does not apply to vehicles with Massachusetts license plates or those owned by Red Sox fans!” As if being a Red Sox fan today weren’t bad enough.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Walking man as advertising star

Between 2000 and 2004, New York City, at a cost of $28 million, replaced all 85,000 street signs that read, “WALK/DON’T WALK,” with ones that use the international symbols for those commands—the white walking man and the imposing red hand. For some, the change was a bit jarring. (“They’re really bright. They hurt my eyes,” one youngster told The New Yorker. Plus, he added, “the old one is just more original.”) But it did give New York creatives a new character to work with—and indeed, the stick-figure everyman seems to appear in more and more ads these days (usually jumping or dancing or doing flips, often to show that his back pain is gone). The changing of the signs may have helped advertisers in another way, too. On a couple of occasions in the 1990s, artists used the “WALK/DON’T WALK” text signs in anti-capitalist art projects. (Anyone remember the “CONSUME/CONFORM” signs outside the Gap in midtown?) Nowadays, though, the guerrilla mischief seems limited to dressing up the walking man in funny clothes and duct-taping the red hand so it looks like it’s giving the finger.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Noodle commercial will be out of this world

OK, that was perhaps the most obvious headline in the world in light of the fact that Nissin Food Products will shoot a Cup Noodle commercial next month at the International Space Station. And, in a sort of “We are the World” touch, the plot calls for a Russian cosmonaut to float around up there and attest to the virtues of Nissin noodles. For you geeks, here’s how they plan to shoot it: a high-def camera will be sent up to the space station as part of a Russian launch on Oct. 1, with the filming being directed out of Russia Mission Control. In addition to the commercial being part of Nissin’s “Cup Noodle No Border” campaign, it’s also part of an initiative by JAXA, the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency, to find ways to commercialize its space program. Thus, the cosmonaut will eventually go—home, that is—but the camera stays.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 22, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Burberry, Chanel bid Moss adieu

To no one’s surprise, Kate Moss has now been dropped by two more of the companies she does business with over her alleged cocaine use: Burberry and Chanel. While we’ve seen this kind of celebrity implosion many times before, it’s always interesting to see the spinmeisters weaving their web of … explanation … when faced with the not-so-pretty truth about the person they’ve chosen to represent their brand. Burberry cancelled a campaign she’d been planned to appear in, and said, according to this story, “it was ‘saddened by her current circumstances’ and wished Moss well.” Chanel went a route that, frankly, we’re even more accustomed to. It said it will not be renewing a contract with Moss that ends in October, and that the non-renewal “had nothing to do with recent publicity about the supermodel's alleged cocaine use,” according to this story from the AP. For those of you keeping score, H&M, Chanel and Burberry have now all dropped Moss. As for H. Stern and Gloria Vanderbilt, we’re watching and wondering.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Those unhygienic Atlanta Braves fans

Don’t bother marketing hand soap to Atlanta Braves fans: They’re less likely than people elsewhere to use the stuff. And no, this isn’t just the carping of an embittered Mets fan. In a study commissioned by the American Society for Microbiology and the Soap and Detergent Association, adults were observed in restrooms at half a dozen public places around the country to see whether they washed their hands before leaving. (The venues: Penn Station and Grand Central Terminal in New York, the Ferry Terminal Farmers Market in San Francisco, the Shedd Aquarium and the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago, and Turner Field in Atlanta.) In all, 90 percent of women and 75 percent of men washed up. At Turner Field, a somewhat below-average 84 percent of women washed their hands, and a significantly below-average 63 percent of men did so. Just imagine the germs flying around as fans there do their tomahawk-chopping hand gesture!

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

But will Clinton and Lewinsky get royalties?

In a bizarre twist on former president Bill Clinton's ongoing commitment to fight AIDS across the globe, a rubber company in China has begun selling condoms branded "Clinton" and "Lewinsky."  "The Clinton condom will be the top of the line," said Liu Wenhua, a spokesman at the Guangzhou Rubber Group, to the Associated Press. "The Lewinsky condom is not quite as good." Wenhua also said Clinton was chosen because consumers viewed the former president as a responsible person, "who would want to stress safe sex as an effective way to prevent the spread of the HIV virus."  Clinton and Lewinsky as poster boy and girl for safe sex? Good thing they're not selling them here.

—Posted by Lisa van der Pool

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wall-to-wall movie-trailer goodness

So there I was late last night at the new YMCA in my neighborhood, working my sweet little ass off on the treadmill while watching the Sony-sponsored season premiere of Nip/Tuck on FX. Normally, I spend no more than 30 minutes on cardiovascular before switching to weights, in part because my ass is not really that sweet or little and tires around the 20-minute mark. However, last night I stayed on the treadmill for a full hour, not even stopping for a drink of water. Why? Yes, the show was compelling, what with the obese couch potato whose skin had actually grafted to the fabric of her davenport. But what kept my legs pumping were the three-minute cinema-style trailers for Sony Pictures releases (Oliver Twist, Memoirs of a Geisha, Rent, Fun with Dick and Jane, etc.) that replaced traditional 30-second spots during the commercial breaks. Of course, I’ve seen trailers during TV programs before, usually for Warner Bros. pictures after guilty-pleasure fare on the WB. But I’d never seen a movie company dominate a single show so completely. The dehydration was worth it. And so, apparently, was the media buy.

—Posted by Deanna Zammit

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Marshall Field’s brand name clings to life

It’s September in Chicago, which means talk has turned to football (the Bears are 1-1), although a few people are still willing to talk about baseball (mostly Cubs fans, as Sox fans don’t want to jinx their team as its lead in the AL Central has narrowed). But the topic of conversation today in the Windy City is retailing. Yes, retailing. The City of Big Shoulders is up in arms about the decision by Federated Department Stores to change the name of all Marshall Field’s stores to Macy’s, basically dispensing with the legendary Chicago brand. (The flagship State Street store has been around since 1892.) The papers are going nuts over the story, with the Chicago Tribune breaking the news in a font size usually reserved for declarations of war. Frankly, the name change seemed inevitable, given that Field’s has changed ownership twice in the past two years. But before we let the name go entirely, I have a suggestion: Sears hasn’t occupied the Sears Tower for more than decade. Perhaps we can start calling it the Marshall Field’s Monolith.

—Posted by Aaron Baar

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Fashion rocks ... and rocks again

We had the weirdest feeling of déjà vu yesterday when the mail came. Polybagged with our subscription to The New Yorker was a supplement called  Fashion Rocks with Gwen Stefani, David Bowie and Alicia Keys on the cover. (It was also the banner for a related concert at the beginning of Fashion Week last week.) Seemed like fashion had been rocking for us in exactly the same way some time in the last week … if we could just remember how and when … Then it came to us—we received the same supplement last week with our subscription to Vanity Fair. Somehow, receiving it a second time cheapened the already slightly cheesy practice of magazines issuing editorial supplements. Would it be too much to ask Condé Nast to limit these supplements to one per household? Yeah, it probably would.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Can't get enough Kate Moss

If it weren’t clear already, we’re now officially on the Kate Moss Endorsement-Unravelment Watch. As covered by everyone yesterday, Ms. Moss was dumped by H&M after she admitted to the execs at the retailer that those pictures of her snorting cocaine in the Daily Mirror, were, uh, accurate. Now, according to The New York Times, the chief executive of another company which uses Moss—Jack Gross of Gloria Vanderbilt denim—has expressed, at least conditional, concern: “Mr. Gross said that if accusations of drug use by Ms. Moss were true, ‘we would have second thoughts about using Kate Moss" again.’” The story also reports, without irony, that the Vanderbilt campaign is intended to, “reconnect Gloria Vanderbilt with the 1970's disco scene that first brought it to prominence.” As in the very same scene that brought cocaine use into prominence? Oy.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

A new Volvo, brought to you by women

Volvo is wowing auto-show audiences with what it says is the world’s first car exclusively designed and developed by women. The vehicle, called “Your Concept Car,” has no hood, no gas cap, dirt-repelling paint, many small compartments (for change, umbrellas, phones, etc.), an electronic parking-assistance mechanism, new sight lines and more. It even calls the service center on its own when it needs maintenance. The car may never be mass produced, but it generates plenty of goodwill for Volvo. The idea for the car began three years ago, after a group of women, including engineers, designers and marketers, at Volvo headquarters in Sweden attended a seminar that focused on how to better cater to women customers.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

This Kidsbeer’s for you, kid

To a child, Shirley Temples are such a cool thing. Hip, glamorous and oh so adult. Now the Japanese have come up with Kidsbeer, a soft drink that looks like real beer, complete with the foam. Tomomasu, the company that makes it, has no plans to bring it to the U.S., but some people here are already kicking up a fuss. That’s because Kidsbeer will be introduced in Britain, and there are plans to extend it to the rest of Europe. So what if the U.S. might be next? Kidsbeer can be a useful tool in teaching kids how to handle alcohol responsibly as adults. We don’t tell our children to boycott alcohol when they hit 21, and study after study shows that moderate consumption can benefit one’s health. It’s time for our alcohol watchdog groups to get real and acknowledge that most children will probably drink alcohol when they grow up. In the meantime, when they go out with Mom and Dad to a restaurant and have a Shirley Temple or a Kidsbeer, it becomes the perfect time to have a frank discussion about booze and its dangers. We find it ironic that we would hang out the unwelcome sign for Kidsbeer when candy cigarettes from Necco and World Candies are so widely available to America’s children. What’s the message there?

—Posted by Wendy Melillo

Published on September 21, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Dude, where’s my fuel-efficient car?

As if the financial toll weren’t bad enough, the run-up in gasoline prices seems also to be making some consumers delusional. In a poll released last week by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, adults were asked to say whether they’ve done various things “lately” to cope with the higher pump prices. Predictably (and plausibly), large numbers said they’ve been driving less (70 percent), shopping around for the cheapest gas (69 percent) and adjusting the thermostat at home to cut their utility bills (64 percent). Less plausibly, 27 percent claimed they’d lately “bought a car that gets better gas mileage.” Unless one gives an awfully loose interpretation to the term lately, this would far exceed the number of people who’ve bought a car of any description within that period. Apparently, the wisdom of buying a fuel-efficient car is now so self-evident that millions of people think they must have done it, whether they actually have or not. The same poll suggests a modest uptick in anti-SUV sentiment among the general public. In a Newsweek survey conducted in November 2001 (i.e., shortly after 9/11), 42 percent of respondents said it was “very important” and 37 percent “somewhat important” that SUV owners switch to more fuel-efficient vehicles. In the new Pew survey, 48 percent said this is very important, and 31 percent said it’s somewhat important. The spectacle of SUV owners paying vast sums for a tank of gas may be so emotionally satisfying that many SUV detractors wouldn’t want to give it up.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on September 20, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yes, they’re real. Now stop asking

If you get outside at all, you’re probably familiar with Maja Latinovic but may not know it. She’s a gorgeous 25-year-old model and “the new face of Wonderbra” (that’s her on the lingerie maker’s Web site). Her face and torso have adorned many an outdoor kiosk during the past few months, clad in one of Wonderbra’s frilly push-ups. And in a singlehanded effort to boost male chauvinism to new heights, the ads are accompanied by taglines like, “Eye contact is so overrated,” and “Yes they are, thank you” (I wouldn’t have thought otherwise for a second). But here comes another dazzler, Tyra Banks, whom you might really ask that question of. Her answer: Yes they are, and I’m going to prove it on TV. Apparently tired of accusations that she’s a silicone sweetie, Banks, of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and America’s Next Top Model fame, will use her new daytime talk show to deflate such vicious rumors. In today’s edition of the syndicated program, she will have an on-air sonogram to prove that her breasts are an implant-free zone. But the show will discuss more weighty topics, too, like breast cancer. Who said TV was a vast wasteland?

—Posted by Steve McClellan

Published on September 20, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Bradley and Montgomery’s pony arrives

Be careful what you wish for. Or willfully demand. Remember Bradley and Montgomery’s lil’ Internet terrorist, the one who defiled the Indianapolis agency’s Web site with her dancing bunnies and unicorns? She wanted a pony and threatened to “wreck, like, a ton of Web sites” until her daddy bought her one. Well, the shop has since updated its site, and it includes a bug in the upper right-hand corner that reads, “Here’s your damn pony.” His name is Maurice, and according to his very own Web page, “he likes to bite. More specifically, he likes the taste of human flesh. ... But as long as he wears his muzzle, all you have to worry about are his violent kicking fits and that strange-smelling rash on his back.” Well, I suppose you reap what you sow, little girl. However, considering that the sower in question was a figment of the creatives’ imagination, birthed as an alternative to a bland “Site Under Construction” sign, they’re only punishing themselves. One wonders if the folks at Bradley and Montgomery are both sadists and masochists. And if so, what does that say about their clients?

—Posted by Deanna Zammit

Published on September 20, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (12)

Here's why we like Ogilvy's site

Commenting on yesterday’s post about the Saatchi & Saatchi Web site, one AdFreak reader asked a fair question: Can we name an agency Web site that we do like? Well, yes—the one for Ogilvy & Mather comes to mind. It’s not the only good agency site out there, nor is Saatchi’s the only one that confuses us. But here’s why, in our humble opinion, the Ogilvy site works: It manages to balance the dual needs of any agency Web site—to be a place to market the company and to provide people with quick access to nuts-and-bolts information. It’s not the graphics that separate it from a lot of its rivals, though the site looks nice; it’s the navigation. Instead of launching you headlong into the agency’s positioning, it gives you the option of clicking on its 360-degree brand-stewardship section or simply checking out where it has offices around the world. The presentation of the creative portfolio also works well. Click on a company logo, and the page fills with examples of print, Web and TV efforts, all clearly marked. We could quibble that the news presented on the home page is somewhat cluttered, but all in all, it’s a user-friendly destination.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on September 20, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Try your hand at fill-in-the-blank graffiti

We just came across the Web site of a guy who says he prints thousands of speech-bubble stickers, plasters them on outdoor ads in New York and then photographs the ads once they’ve been defaced. (To see the photos, click on one of the categories and then use the arrows at the bottom to scroll through.) The whole thing seems suspect—I’ve never seen these speech bubbles around the city, and many of the defaced ads look like Photoshop jobs. Still, hoax or not, some of the results are humorous.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 20, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (3)