Bronson Arroyo swings, misses, hits home run in Cincy car-dealer ad

Bronson Arroyo can sing. He can also pitch—on the mound and off. Check out this hilarious spot he's done for a local car dealer in Cincinnati. So bad it's good. Arroyo's acting—another reason the Red Sox may regret having let him go. Via Deadspin.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Pub patrons in receipt of responsible drinking messages

We guess this is a form of targeting—during the World Cup, ATMs in Leicestershire, England will display ads about drinking responsibly, to try to discourage those who think the perfect thing to do right before the pubs close is to get more cash to buy another drink. The machines themselves will remind people about fines for anti-social behavior. (OK, in this context, let’s spell it behaviour.) The receipts will carry the message, “Drinking could seriously affect your balance.” Not a bad theme line, but the last thing most people are apt to do when they are in, um, a certain state of mind, is take a gander at their ATM receipt.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on May 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Despite this email, CPAs and rock stars still have nothing in common

So, yesterday, we were watching the denouement of the Enron trial when we got this pitiful attempt at getting in on the media action—an email with this subject header: “CPA OF ENRON’S ACCOUNTING FIRM WHO QUIT TO BECOME A ROCK STAR SPEAKS OUT ON PRESSURES CEOS PUT ON YOUNG AUDITORS.” The ex-CPA in question, one Chris Sernel, now of the group Escape from Earth, “aced” the CPA exam and was immediately hired by Enron accountant Arthur Andersen back in the day, the email says. It’s probably a good thing that he’s got a talent for math, because apparently his spelling is so bad he can’t even get the name of his former employer right. In the release, he repeatedly spells Andersen with an “o” where the second “e” should be. Anyway, here is a bit of his wit and wisdom regarding the well-known CPA/rock star conundrum: “Between the scandals and tons of new rules, it was frustrating. While at Anderson [sic], I just got sick and tired of working 100 hour weeks finding potential errors and issues, only to see that the client ultimately was given an auditor’s ‘clean opinion’ by Anderson [sic again!] managers. This was due in large part to the pressure of knowing that the client is paying the auditor’s bills. In Rock and Roll [his choice of capitalization, not ours], our fans pay our bills. The pressures are the same to give people their money’s worth but rising up to meet the pressures in the world of Rock and Roll are more in intellectually honest and rewarding.” Uh, thanks for the insights, Chris.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on May 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Stick your neck out with this trusty compass

We’ve come across several ads for navigations systems lately that make literal the new perspective the products offer. The guy here, with the stretchy neck, is creepier, though, than Renault’s giant building, found with the help of a GPS system. Check out another long-necked character here. Via Cool LOking Ads.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Stay away from the giant chocolate billboard

If it’s true that chocolate prolongs depression, then the characters clambering all over this giant Cadbury’s ad won’t be able to get out of bed tomorrow. Via Advertising for Peanuts.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

U.K. journalist to burn all his branded stuff

I’m not sure I’d be brave enough (or dumb enough) to burn all of my branded possessions. Without my iMac, I’d get no work done. Without my Skechers, I’d be digging NYC glass out of my feet. Without my Scientific-Atlanta DVR, I’d miss The Sopranos every week. Neil Boorman doesn’t care about things like this. A self-described “label-obsessed journalist and music promoter,” based in the U.K., Boorman is planning to build an enormous bonfire this summer, with every last piece of his branded stuff as fuel, and set it gloriously alight. Sure, he has a book deal to go along with this stunt (title: Bonfire of the Brands), but maybe he’s half-serious about how lost he feels in the sea of modern brands. Thus, on August 26 of this year, “I am going to gather every branded possession of mine into a warehouse, douse them with petrol and burn the lot,” he writes. “Jacobson chairs, Christian Dior shirts, a Louis Vuitton bag; I’m too frightened to calculate the financial cost of this action, but I know it’s a lot. Far more unsettling than the money is the emotional cost I’m going to suffer. You see, It’s not simply a pile of expensive clothes and accessories going on the bonfire. Neil Boorman is being destroyed too. … Until recently, I thought I knew who Neil Boorman was. I felt sure how the outside world regarded me because I had spent a fair amount of time engineering an image. I found the best way to understand and articulate ‘me’ was through the owning and displaying of things made by brands. They provided a source of comfort, a reassurance of my own self-worth, they project my identity to others around me. … Frustratingly, this attempt at branded self-identity has been accompanied with a numbed sense of dissatisfaction. Attempting to cure myself, I have sought comfort and reassurance by buying yet more branded goods, treating myself ‘because I’m worth it.’ I now understand that this behavior only made matters worse. For all the time and money I have devoted to collecting these brands, these symbols of self, I have absolutely no idea who I am. ... With every new emblem of identity I add to my collection, I lose a piece of myself to the brands. They cannot reciprocate the love I give. They cannot transport me to the places I’m promised exist. I am not, nor will I ever be remotely similar to the people that appear in their ads. It is a lie, a lie I have believed in for too long.” He’ll presumably be knitting his own clothes for the occasion.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 26, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Agency folks: you haven't missed your 'Idol' moment

This could get ugly. Agency types interested in getting their William Hung on should be advised that 24/7 Real Media is holding an “Agency Idol” night on June 1 at Cain in New York. The karaoke contest will have awards for solo and team performances. Non-singing gluttons for punishment are welcome to attend—and we suggest you drink early and often. If you need to warm-up, head on over to AOL’s In2TV, where you can sing along to classic TV themes like “Perfect Stranger.” Sign up at 24/7 Real Media's site.

—Posted by Brian Morrissey

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Morrissey

JWT's 'Fast Company' story full of surprises

How come we were the last to know that JWT is in the midst of a great comeback? And that New York co-president Rosemarie Ryan looks so frightening in construction garb and pumps that we might avoid a certain stretch of Lexington Avenue in future, lest we run into her? (See picture from the story at left.) In a current cover story in Fast Company (click here for a PDF) chock full of surprises, JWT—in particular, the New York office—is positioned as the unheralded turnaround champion of Madison Avenue. We were pretty surprised, too, to see Ryan and office co-president Ty Montague touted as "Shakeup Artists: Dragging Madison Ave. into the 21st Century," considering that in the last few months, sources we trust didn't exactly give the shop a shout-out. (Not that we fault Montague or Ryan for trying.) In fact, the linchpins of the Fast Company story seem to be a couple of sledgehammers used to knock down the office walls and one nifty campaign for JetBlue, which, while one of our faves, does hardly a J. Walter Turnaround make. Having gotten that off our chests, let's explore some details that the piece gets if not dead wrong, then not quite right. At a Feb. 28, 2005, staff meeting, Ryan and Montague may have used the phrase "billion-dollar startup" to describe the shop's attempt at embracing entrepreneurialism, but it wasn't originally theirs. We traced it to a story nearly two years earlier, when it was uttered by Bob Jeffrey, then president of North America, before Ryan and Montague were even hired. (Sorry, it’s in the Adweek subscription archive if you want to access it.) To hear this piece tell it, Jeffrey, though now JWT chairman/CEO, sounds lucky to even have an office. Not only is he (peculiarly) not quoted in the piece, but when Montague and Ryan are depicted literally tearing the walls down, it's explained that the duo was "stripping everyone but Jeffrey and the payroll department of their private offices."  Um, who's the boss here? Another shocker: that BBDO is "the other behemoth Madison Avenue shop that's on a mission to reinvent itself." Strange. We thought that most big, traditional agencies were trying to reinvent themselves. There's also a claim that JWT New York didn't win any accounts in 2002 and 2003. No one will look back on those as the New York office's best years, but it did win the $30 million Novell business in September 2002. But what's perhaps oddest about the story is that in the end, it apologizes for its enthusiasm, as if the magazine, too, weren't quite sure of what kind of story it had. It describes "mounting frustration … that the outside world hasn't witnessed the transformation." Then, following a derisive quote from an unidentified search consultant, who says, "I don't see it happening," the story contends that "the primary reason she hasn't seen it is that, apart from the JetBlue campaign, most of the work done under Montague won't appear until the second half of the year." We'd like to believe that's why we're just not getting it. And, curmudgeons though we are, we still like to see agencies try to change, even when it seems all they might be doing is channeling Jay Chiat by tearing down walls. But Montague joined JWT in January 2005. Which, if the above is true, means it's taken him a year and a half to crank out a couple of ads. UPDATE: It's only fair to point out that moments after we posted this item, JWT won $200 million in additional assignments from Kimberly-Clark which will be handled by the New York and London offices.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (128)

Denny’s cooks up more dinners, but don’t sell your stove just yet

When I was 16, the occasional trip to Denny’s was a natural part of my Midwestern routine. My brother even recorded a song about Denny’s once for his band Sour Milk. These days, I’m not even sure there’s a Denny’s with 10 miles of where I live. (Maybe there’s one in Fort Lee.) Thus, I have to monitor Denny’s from afar—including its current attempt to add more dinner options, with ads in that vein (yuck) due next month from Publicis in Dallas. A story in South Carolina’s Spartanburg Herald Journal explains: “The spots feature an elderly couple going to Denny’s for dinner, a middle-aged man who likes the price and size of the chain’s breakfasts, a mother who likes Denny’s so much she is considering selling her stove, and a young man who likes to visit Denny’s after a night on the town.” One word of advice: Do not sell your stove out of loyalty to Denny’s. The new tagline is, “Denny’s always works,” which seems perfect, as it says nothing about taste or health. Once again, though, the chain has passed over the perfect documentary-style testimonial ad campaign—one based on Project:Denny’s, the effort by one brave man to “visit as many Denny’s as possible before I die.” Project:Denny’s has been going strong for 10 years, much longer than anyone could have hoped or expected. “Sure, all the food tastes the same, and it always leave a thick layer of grease on your plate, but where else can you get a Moons Over My Hammy?” the guy reasons. “During my first year of college, I was fortunate enough to actually work as a graveyard-shift waiter at Denny’s. Now I just eat there.” With more dinners on the way, that’s unlikely to change.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

‘Bild’ moves on from peeing to kidnapping

Kidnapping may be an odd theme for an advertisement these days, but German newspaper Bild doesn’t give a ratte’s ass what you think. This is the same newspaper that installed tilted mirrors above urinals in men’s rooms and etched the line “Nothing is harder than the truth” next to them. The tagline on this kidnapping ad is: “Read the world’s fastest newspaper.” Will someone please explain what a fast newspaper is? Via Ads of the World.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Nature looks a lot like Benjamin Moore

Are these actual outdoor ads for Benjamin Moore? (Click to see larger versions.) More likely, they’re Photoshop jobs done for print. Either way, they’re pretty cool. Via Advertka.ru.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Canadian brewer invents monkey generator

Thanks to a friend of mine, I’m just now catching up on the great Ricky Gervais podcast show and have been enjoying many installments of Monkey News. Perhaps I’m predisposed, right now, to enjoy just about any ad campaign featuring monkeys—including the new work for James Ready 5.5., which apparently is some sort of beer in Canada. (Its motto seems to be, “24 for $24. It should cost more!” Which is either really silly or genius). Anyway, there’s a “monkey generator” up on the brewer’s Web site. You can upload a photo of yourself or a friend and graft it onto a monkey’s body. It’s somewhat amusing, although they should really have the monkey dance or something as well.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hairy women start Web crusade for Gillette

This whole NoScruf viral campaign for Braun Gillette, created by Digitas, is a bit of a head-scratcher. Apparently, photos of women with dark hair on their legs and under their arms really lights a fire under the average Web surfer these days (to the tune of 60 million daily visitors NoScruf.org, at least according to this story, which is all but impossible to believe, but hey, we’ll try it too and see what happens). The internal logic of the campaign is a bit belabored—at first it’s unclear why NoScruf stands for National Organization of Social Crusaders Repulsed by Unshaven Faces, since faces don’t seem to be the problem. Then we realize that women are steering the ship here, and they’re “not going to shave until men do.” The Web site is ludicrously low-budget-looking, which is actually pretty funny. The rest? Well, the hippy chicks aren’t going to like it much.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 25, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Stop the presses! Ad guy embraces old media!

What is it with Pennsylvania on AdFreak today? In being the leader of a consortium that today bought the Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News, Brian Tierney has just become a rarity—an ad exec (or former one), who is openly and publicly embracing the future of old media—and print, no less. True, the newspapers’ Web sites are part of the $562 million buyout of the papers from McClatchy, but ultimately this deal is really about whether there are still people interested in reading newspapers, and well-heeled patrons willing to buy them once a publicly-traded conglomerate puts them on the block. While it appears from stories today at philly.com that much of the newsroom is relieved, Tierney, who will be CEO, gets low marks for his past dealings with reporters—particularly as a public relations exec who often represented the Catholic Church. In this story, Robert J. Rosenthal, former Inquirer editor, recalls, “He was all elbows and knees … and he frequently would try and bully journalists into whatever argument he wanted to make for his clients—that's what he was getting paid for. I never really saw him as someone who understood the adversarial role of the press." This could get interesting.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Credit: John Costello/Philadelphia Inquirer/KRT

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tahoe drives safely in new CGM effort

It looks like Chevy Tahoe is going a somewhat safer route than it did a few weeks back in a new consumer-generated media campaign it’s doing in conjunction with Major League Baseball. MLB just sent out an email to folks on its subscriber list inviting them to visit this site, upload pictures of themselves and tell why they are baseball’s no. 1 fan; the winner will get a trip to Pittsburgh (hmmm … what strange synergy … see post below) to see the All-Star game. So far, there’s nothing of great inspiration or interest posted, or any passionate anti-SUV ranting, probably because the Tahoe is merely borrowed interest in this campaign. There is, however, this picture of Mr. Met.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Attention copywriters: now Pennsylvania needs you

OK, gang—given your zeal for coming up with tourism slogans for New Jersey, we’d like to present you with a new tourism marketing challenge: coming up with an official bumper sticker slogan for the state of Pennsylvania.   (Admittedly, Pennsylvania isn’t nearly as excellent to make fun of as New Jersey, but there’s nothing we can do about that.) The state is currently allowing visitors to visitpa.com to choose from among 16 potential candidates, but fortunately—since none of the 16 is all that good—there’s a write-in ballot as well. Surely, there’s something better out there than “Honk if You Like Roadtrips.”

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Was the Tom Cruise show the last straw?

Sure, that Pontiac giveaway was grating, but surely Oprah doesn’t deserve this. (Photo was snapped yesterday by a friend in L.A. It actually advertises this. Apparently KABC changes the headline regularly next to the shot of Oprah.)

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Hamilton tames the crowd at the Beldings

Because Betsy Hamilton has worked at agencies all over L.A., you might think that dusting off her standup comedy skills at the 40th Annual Belding Awards a week ago would have been easy laughs among friends and colleagues. In truth, the Beldings are a tough room, and Hamilton’s act, amid 53 bowl presentations, is a testament to her bravery—and practically goes to upholding family honor. In recent years, Hamilton’s husband, TBWA\Chiat\Day’s Rob Schwartz, went hoarse hosting raucous Beldings parties at the House of Blues and Hollywood & Highland. This year, at the L.A. County Museum of Art, Hamilton was better at captivating her audience, either because her shtick was good (“This might be your only chance to see a Renoir next to a Chagall next to a WongDoody”) or because booze was off-limits until after the show. (Hamilton termed the night “the new Amish Beldings.”) After Hamilton left NBC for a job at Team One (where “you don’t need eye shadow!”), she worked the standup circuit, playing the Comedy Store, the Ice House and Luna Park before moving on to San Francisco and motherhood. It wasn’t long, though, before she was writing “momvertising” columns and contributing to what she describes as “bitter-mom Web sites.” “I was trying to carve out my voice, between Dr. Spock and Erma Bombeck, with sarcasm,” she says. In the end, she broke out of the bloghetto. Or maybe not: “I’m on MySpace quite a bit,” she quipped at the Beldings. “I’ve been freelancing as a 38-year-old pedophile. Keeps me young.” On her transition from copywriter to consumer: “I used to be you, coming up with the ads. Now I’m me, buying the products. …You got cars? I’m test-driving them. You’re hawking avocadoes? I’m squeezing them at the store. You’re using Paris Hilton and soft porn to sell a hamburger? I’m the one sitting on the sofa watching it with my 10-year-old daughter.” While Hamilton suffered through Schwartz’s pain at the previous Beldings, he was in Toyko for his wife’s turn. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

—Posted by Gregory Solman

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Enjoy another bad German corporate song

Following the Henkel song, the Target song and the Starbucks song, here’s another corporate ditty that may send you over the edge: “Succeed With Us All Over the World,” by a German trade-show company called Messe Düsseldorf. The video isn’t much to look at, but thankfully it includes the lyrics, because heaven forbid they hire a native English-speaking singer.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

‘Jackass 2’ campaign is suitably stupid

I have to agree with Movie Marketing Madness that the marketing for Jackass 2 seems pointless. The poster doesn’t have the word Jackass in it. And the Web site is built around a silly gay-cruise-line theme showing director Jeff Tremaine and cinematographer Dimitry Elyashkevich embracing. The same image went up on a billboard in L.A. Here’s the director talking to MTV about it: “Tremaine: I had nothing to do with that billboard. In fact, I was probably just as surprised as anybody to see that stupid thing. MTV: It was a cut-and-paste image of you and cinematographer Dimitry Elyashkevich advertising a gay cruise. Tremaine: Johnny and the executive producers had some disposable cash, apparently, and they thought it would be funny. ... They made sure I saw it. We did a bit a long time ago called ‘The Convict’ where Knoxville was dressed like a convict in a hardware store trying to saw his handcuffs off. The bit was never allowed to be seen, because we didn’t do things by legal standards. So the producers told me that we were gonna go down and talk to the West Hollywood Police Department because they were considering letting us use that footage. It was all just a setup to get me down there to see that fucking billboard. MTV: How did people react to the billboard? Tremaine: I’ve heard from friends who think it’s just hilarious. They all love my tribal work tattoo and the nipple ring I’m sporting.” Of course, this kind of stupidity is probably the point.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Bonds or Barbaro? There’s no comparison

If Barry Bonds had broken his leg instead of matching Babe Ruth’s home-run record, maybe Americans would like him better. There was lamentation from coast to coast when Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro broke his leg during the running of the Preakness this past Saturday. (Indeed, ABC News was prompted to do a story examining why the plight of an injured racehorse evoked “deep empathy” from so many people.) Bonds’ home run, by contrast, has evoked more distaste than applause. A Rasmussen Reports poll fielded last week found just 41 percent of baseball fans saying Bonds should “be allowed in the Hall of Fame,” while 39 percent said he shouldn’t be, and the rest weren’t sure either way. An outright majority (66 percent) believe Bonds used steroids to bash his way into the record books, vs. just 18 percent saying they don’t believe it. His personal approval rating is all of 22 percent. We can surmise that a candy bar named after Barbaro would fare better with consumers than one named after Bonds.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on May 24, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Will Nike and Apple be crushed under the weight of their own coolness?

You knew it was only a matter of time. Not content to be the two companies with the coolest ad campaigns, Apple and Nike are continuing their devious plans to control all things hip and cool. It seems they have teamed up to provide special technology “linking” one’s athletic shoes with one’s iPod. Specially equipped footwear (anyone else remember when we called them sneakers, or am I showing my age?) will send information on a runner’s time, distance, calories and pace to an iPod’s screen and through its headphones. According to a release, Lance Armstrong thinks it’s a good thing. (Can a yellow iPod or a commercial showing a silhouetted Lance be far behind?) Given the amount of people at my health club who wear the signature white earbuds, this is almost a no-brainer. But what I really want is an iPod that will work out for me.

—Posted by Aaron Baar

Published on May 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Are Wal-Mart backers courting New Yorkers by pretending to be Wal-Mart haters?

Gothamist has the weird scoop on some characters in Grand Central Terminal today who were reportedly yelling anti-Wal-Mart sentiments while handing out pro-Wal-Mart literature—perhaps thinking no one would grab a flier if they revealed their true purpose right off the bat. The “protesters” were shouting things like, “Keep Wal-Mart out of New York City!” and “Keep Wal-Mart away from New York!,” according to the original report, whose author adds: “I’m not sure if I should be annoyed by this venture or totally impressed by the last guy’s ability to reel in an otherwise deaf audience.” If this is true, it’s slimy, bordering on devilish.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ronald back to work after birth of evil son

The natural reaction upon seeing this ad, from Leo Burnett in Madrid Mumbai, is to hope that Ronald McDonald has done the right thing and taken Baby Ronald into the woods and buried him in a deep hole. Unfortunately, the ad is for McDonald’s delivery service. Has anyone ever ordered McDonald’s takeout? Does the food actually survive the trip? Link via Twenty Four.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (5)

The 50 best places to relax with a pint

American Craft Beer Week seems to have come and gone with barely a whimper, but you can still check out the list of the Top 50 Places to Have a Beer in America, compiled by Beer Advocate. I have not visited a single place on the list, not even the places in Brooklyn, so far as I can remember. Has anyone been to any of the top 10? Are they really that much better than McCormack’s on 26th and 3rd in Manhattan or the Piper’s Kilt up in Inwood?

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)