No mouth? No belly button? No problem.

Maybe the main character from Kyle XY, the new series on ABC Family, could get together with the girl from Silent Hill and bond over their missing body parts. (Kyle will have to do most of the talking.) These kinds of images do make for weirdly compelling advertising. (You’ll recall that people had all sorts of fun with the Silent Hill posters.) But some people think they’re stupid and annoying. The guy over at the Hairshirt blog wonders: “Did Disney produce thirteen episodes of a show where a family tries to find this kid’s belly button? Or maybe he’s a candidate for the world’s first belly button transplant. Or perhaps he’s meant to be a superior being because he doesn’t have to worry about the whole lint thing. I don’t know. There just has to be something else about the series that they could have promoted.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (17)

Fox unveils ‘Borat’ movie trailer. It’s nice!

The long-awaited movie Borat, starring Sacha Baron Cohen doing his best Ali G Show character, finally has a release date: Nov. 3 here in the U.S. and A. Here’s the trailer. It shows Borat in Kazakhstan, sidestepping cows, kissing his sister and explaining to us and the townspeople that he’s been chosen to visit America to learn how to improve his own country. There’s no footage of the rest of the movie, which apparently will show Borat ambushing unsuspecting Americans, as he does on the show. Still, it’s humorous. And that’s a great bathing suit.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Spider likes being whacked by Grosby shoe

Comical TV spot here in which a woman tries to kill a spider with her Grosby shoe, but the shoe is just too comfortable to do the job right. The spider’s reactions to each whack are particularly amusing. The spot apparently won a bronze at Cannes last year. Grosby is an Australian shoemaker. Its Tony-esque tagline is, “A grrreat shoe at a grrreat price.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Nascar heats up with line of romance novels

First we had Nascar Meats. Now the racing league has teamed up with Harlequin to publish Nascar romance novels. The first, titled In the Groove, by Pamela Britton, is in stores now. The plot involves a former kindergarten teacher, Sarah, who drives the team bus of a Nascar driver, Lance. (“Whenever he comes near her, she turns hot as race fuel.”) Apparently, Nascar’s 70 million fans include some 30 million women—an untapped market for Harlequin. Says a rep there: “I know people think this is funny, but we’ve had love stories set in hospitals, in wartime, and all over the world. So why not in Nascar, too?” Nascar driver Carl Edwards couldn’t agree more. “When they first told me that there was going to be a Harlequin romance novel about Nascar, I said, ‘You’ve got to be kidding,’ ” he says. “But I’ve since seen women at the racetrack, sitting there, reading these books. So if you’re going to be reading a romance book, you might as well read about auto racing.” Upcoming titles include On the Edge and Dangerous Curves.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Apple doesn’t really know who I am at all

When you own two Apple computers, as I do, and you register both of them with the company, and you start getting e-mails from them that seem personalized, and you think you’re sort of peripherally part of this amorphous “Mac community” you’ve heard so much about, it’s funny to get a message with the subject line, “Frustrated with your PC? Time for a Mac.” To be regaled with “all the reasons you’ll love a Mac.” (The sales pitch came from the same e-mail address as the note I got last weekend thanking me for registering my MacBook.) In a way, it’s refreshing. I actually used my MacBook in a Starbucks the other day, for the first time, and I felt very much like a smug little twit. But I’m OK—Apple doesn’t even know who I am.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (5)

‘Impossible Dream’ remixed for World Cup

The World Cup has inspired new versions of Honda’s “Impossible Dream” spot. There’s this one, posted on YouTube, which crudely but comically places England players’ heads, jaws flapping as they sing, on the Honda traveler’s body. Perhaps inspired by this, Honda and Wieden + Kennedy in London did their own remix and posted it on the Honda.co.uk homepage, to wish England luck in the tournament. Each of the vehicles now flies a little England flag—and there’s a not-so-little England flag on the hot-air balloon. At the end, Garrison Keillor says, “Come on, England. Keep the dream alive.” And speaking of Wieden in London, check out their blog entries here and here for more on that “controversial” Wayne Rooney ad. (Also, see how one bar owner in England has installed indoor turf for the World Cup.)

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 23, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Jet-skis save the day in Sea-Doo Films

I’ve seen next to nothing written about Sea-Doo Films, the three short online movies created by the sport-boat maker and its ad agency, Cramer-Krasselt in Chicago, along with Backyard Productions. (Click on the movie ticket to launch the film player.) The first film, “Harbour Towne,” starts off promisingly but swerves off-course just as it gets interesting. The other two, though, “Hijacked” and “Rusty Dogs,” are very entertaining, even if they’re straight out of the BMW Films mold—good guys and bad guys locked in campy, action-packed chase scenes, on jet-skis instead of in cars, with lots of guns and explosions. (Eric Roberts gives a comical, ultracool performance in “Rusty Dogs.”) The films are 8-10 minutes long, but with the latter two, that includes lengthy “testimonial” chats by the characters after the films end. Here’s the press release about the project as a whole. Spotted at YesButNoButYes.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 22, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (7)
Filed under Cramer-Krasselt

BA campaign explains Wimbledon etiquette

Switching sports for a moment, British Airways has launched a tongue-in-cheek online campaign from Agency.com that advises loutish Americans on the proper etiquette at Wimbledon, England’s very proper tennis tournament, which begins next Monday. Among the bits of playful advice: Don’t stuff yourself with chili dogs; don’t bring enormous No. 1 foam fingers; don’t do the wave; and don’t sound airhorns during match play. Such things are “just not done,” say the ads (which apparently have various viral-type bells and whistles, too). So, if you are one of those American tennis hooligans we’ve been hearing so much about, just go ahead and stay home this month.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 22, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Toledo scared of mystery ‘Debunkify’ ads

Maybe this extends beyond Toledo, but people there are scratching their heads and starting to feel an overwhelming sense of doom over a cryptic ad campaign that bears the one-word tagline, “Debunkify.” Apparently there are “Debunkify” billboards up around that Ohio town. We’ve also come across a “Debunkify” video on YouTube and a Web site, Debunkify.com, which has a clock that’s counting down—it looks like it’ll reach zero hour sometime on July 10. Can someone explain what’s happening here, so the people in Toledo can feel safe again? UPDATE: The site went live this morning, July 10, at 10 a.m. EDT. It is indeed an Ohio anti-smoking campaign.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 22, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (44)

Orbit gum cleans up Snoop’s dirty mouth

We haven’t discussed Snoop Dogg in a little while, but here he is again, popping up in a TV commercial he has very little business being in. This time it’s an ad for Orbit gum, which apparently thinks having the Dogg on board won’t compromise its Euro-deadpan style too much. (Strangely enough, advertisers in general seem to feel that Snoop can fit seamlessly into any scenario, no matter the brand, target or strategy.) The idea here is that Snoop has a dirty mouth—something Vanessa, Orbit’s shiny, happy, stewardessy spokeswoman, can help him out with. The TV spot has a heaven and hell theme. There’s lots more on the Web site, GoodCleanFeeling.com, including behind-the-scenes footage of the ad and an option to have Snoop call your friends. Whether your friends will understand him is another matter.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 22, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (16)

Michael Owen ad not so charming anymore

Yes, it’s another World Cup ad featuring another England player. (The ads are making more of an impression than the team, so far.) This one’s special, though. It’s from Northern Rock, the company that sponsors Newcastle United, Michael Owen’s club team. Created before Owen headed off to play for his country, it reads, “Can we have him back in one piece please?” If you saw yesterday’s match, you know why this ad has now been pulled.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Folgers print ads almost as weird as the TV

You’ve met the insane glowing death brigade from the Folgers TV spot. Now here’s some print work in the same “Tolerate mornings” campaign from Saatchi & Saatchi. The top line of copy on the coffee mug reads, “The alarm clock ruins everything,” which seems to suggest that the image behind the LED display is some sort of dream that’s been interrupted. And what a dream it is. Chicken bodies dancing in T-shirts. A guy with cutlery wings cruising in with some kind of flag and wielding a gigantic spork. I can’t even guess what’s going on with the castle-type thing in the upper left. (I wish I could find a larger image of the ad.) There are three more ads here, here and here, at Ads of the World. If these are the kinds of dreams that Folgers drinkers are having, they may have already moved on to stronger drugs. UPDATE: OK, a larger version of the ad was posted on Ads of the World all along; I stupidly missed it. (Click the image above—it’ll bring up a decent-size pic.) Anyway, this makes it a bit clearer (though no less disturbing) what’s going on. The castle thing is an oven; the chickens (if that’s what they are—their skin looks potato-ish), having been cooked, are wearing T-shirts that read, “Pick me!,” “Eat me!,” and “I’m yummy!” Basically, it’s a Dali-like hunger dream of some kind. Weird but beautiful.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Movie marketing ain’t what it used to be

Put it down to realpolitik—or nostalgia—but movie marketers these days rarely imitate what they most admire. A case in point: the all-time best movie posters (or the best from the past 35 years, anyway), as judged by the Key Art Awards (itself 35 years old), held last Friday in L.A. (For the record, I served as a Key Art judge this year.) The best of the best posters would likely not pass muster in today’s world, where what matters most is the talent, the size of their faces determined by contract pecking order. The poster for E.T., with its reference to Michaelangelo’s Sistine Chapel “Creation” scene, shows wondrous economy of style and intrigue—the alien hand promising a glimpse of the creature, the child’s hand promising a benevolent close encounter, the classic art reference acknowledging the story’s crypto-Christian metaphor. The Eyes of Laura Mars poster begins with a Francesco Scavullo photo of Faye Dunaway’s face, but the treatment (shrouded in darkness, with only the white of her eyes highlighted) is spare modern art. Similarly, in the trailer category, the best-of “best of show” winners would also be unlikely to make it past MBAs in the boardroom. Everyone remembers and admires the trailer for The Shining, with titles over the elevator vestibule in the Overlook Hotel giving way to a wave of blood that washes into the foreground, then recedes to Krzysztof Penderecki’s weirdest tones: They just don’t make trailers like that anymore. Likewise, the trailer for Alien (“In space, no one can hear you scream”) features no jail-door slam effects, making it a museum piece. This year’s winners do offer some hope: One of the year’s best-of-show posters is Cimarron Group’s work for Syriana, which covers George Clooney’s eyes with a blindfold. And the trailer for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, another of this year’s winners, is delightfully self-conscious—a post-modern deconstruction of what trailers are supposed to contain.

—Posted by Gregory Solman

Published on June 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Why Taylor Hicks should switch to Cingular

No major American election is now complete without an arcane (not to say conspiratorial) theory to account for its outcome. So, it was only a matter of time before somebody came up with one to explain the American Idol voting. A bulletin from The NPD Group examines the implications of the fact that Cingular Wireless is the show’s sole partner for voting via text messaging. The research firm notes that nearly half of Cingular’s subscribers (46 percent) are situated in the South (vs. 23 percent in the West, 16 percent in the Northeast and 15 percent in the Central region). Moreover, Cingular’s Southern subscribers have an above-average propensity for text messaging. Putting these data together, the report speculates that the Cingular connection could account for the fact that the Idol winners thus far have all come from the South (including the most recent, Taylor Hicks of Birmingham, Ala.). Now, if someone could just explain why so many people watch the show in the first place.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on June 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3)

What’s wrong with mixed-berry pie?

More proof that AdFreak is out of step with the rest of America: We like mixed-berry pie. What better to go with a latte at your favorite cafe on Mulberry Street? But mixed-berry is the least-loved pie among American adults, it seems, with only 2 percent claiming to favor it, according to Russell Research, which conducted a pie survey on behalf of Four Points by Sheraton. The Starwood Hotels & Resorts brand was relaunched earlier this year to target the no-fuss, no-muss male business traveler, but it has one indulgence—the quality of pie served at its locations. Four Points svp Hoyt Harper, a pie aficionado, commissioned the research to help support the chain’s pie-centric positioning. Among the other findings: The percentage of American women who say their husband makes the best homemade pie is the exact same percentage as the percentage of Americans who favor mixed-berry pie (2 percent). We don’t know if there’s a connection there, but we found that interesting. About 30 percent of men age 35-54 admitted to having eaten an entire pie in one sitting. Pumpkin pie lovers are apt to describe themselves as “funny and independent,” while pecan pie is the choice of the “thoughtful and analytical.” It’s hard to imagine anyone could remain thoughtful, analytical or even conscious with that much sugar in their systems, but what do we know? We like mixed-berry pie.

—Posted by Kathleen Sampey

Published on June 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Maybe she should have left a long time ago

It might be time to admit that the American public doesn’t really care who reads the news off the Teleprompter in the morning. Apparently, Today, NBC’s morning infotainment show (I hesitate to call any of them “news,” especially after seeing a montage from a PR agency—you know who you are—hyping the Maytag Man at morning shows across the country), actually gained viewers on its closest competitor, ABC’s enter-mation show Good Morning America, after the exit of Katie Couric. This according to Nielsen Media Research, which is closely related enough to AdFreak to keep us from marrying. Of course, CBS is still betting that “Ol’ Legs” (my nickname for Couric) will be able to raise ratings in the evening. (My guess: doubtful. She’s still not as cute as Jon Stewart.) Speaking of the Eye, now comes word that Dan Rather is leaving the network that pushed him out. Apparently, CBS will air a prime-time special about Rather’s career at some point in the future. Maybe we can get a goodbye song from Connie Chung.

—Posted by Aaron Baar

Credit: MSNBC

Published on June 21, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Will the real Son of God please stand up?

Who is more Christ-like, Dwayne Wade or Wayne Rooney? It’ll probably be hard to tell before the conclusion of the NBA Finals and the World Cup. The top image, which doesn’t appear to be an ad, comes from Dave Barry’s blog. The Nike ad is from The Hidden Persuader. UPDATE: The Rooney ad, from Wieden + Kennedy in London, is being met with some resistance in England. One MP says: “This is such a horrible image and is so horribly warlike that it can only be described as Nike being crass, offensive and insensitive as they try to hitch poor old Rooney to their commercial bandwagon. Wayne’s a good Catholic boy, and I think the obvious crucifixion nuance is one part of it, but the aggressive nature of the pose is something we could do without.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 20, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (17)

It’s your new bioengineered best friend

Your old household pet suddenly looks very 20th century with the advent of Genpets, these adorable, impish mini-Golems. They come in two “core configurations,” one-year lifespan and three-year lifespan, as well as seven different personality types. It may seem cruel to wrap them in plastic, but they don’t care. “Each package has an embedded microchip that monitors and controls the state of the Genpet while it is asleep waiting for you to take it home,” says the Web site. “Better yet, it displays the status of the Genpet with a Fresh Strip, as well as a fully working heart monitor in the top right of the package.” How do they stay alive exactly? This according to the FAQ: “While the Genpets hang on retail shelves they are in a chemically induced type of hibernation controlled by a protein in the packages’ nutrient supply tubes. This was a natural trait found in many seasonal animals that would normally hibernate in colder northern climates that has been added to the Genpet line. This also ensures comfort for the Genpets while they are on store shelves.” It’s a miracle of science. Via YesButNoButYes.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 20, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (13)

How deep is your mile-high gay love?

This ad’s a few years old but worth a look back. A cramped overnight airplane trip inspires a reverie of homosexual bliss for one guy, until he wakes up. Perfect Bee Gees soundtrack. Done by BBDO for Virgin Atlantic.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 20, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Virgin Atlantic

‘Mad about ad?’ Visit Burnett’s Cannes site

Once again, Leo Burnett in Budapest is doing its own Cannes predictions—posting 50 commercials and inviting you to vote on them. It’s promoting the project with this spot here, called “Mad About Ad?” 

—Posted by Tim Nudd 

Published on June 20, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

You don’t need them, but you’ll buy them

In-store advertising may be gaining stature as a societal ill, along with transfat and tobacco. Apparently, those promotions and sales signs that greet you the minute you enter a store could, believe it or not, cause you to make some unsound impulse buys, judging by new research from MIT. That’s good news for marketers and maybe too for people who thought their immoderate shopping habits were purely a result of their stunted emotional condition. Sure, some earlier have studies linked rampant shopping to self-esteem issues, but this story says impulse buys are often driven more by a simple neurological response in the brain. In other words, some people are just hard-wired to shop til they drop. Are you one of them? Click on the link—there’s a quiz that’ll help you find out.

—Posted by Kathleen Sampey

Published on June 20, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Three meals aren’t enough for Taco Bell

People are getting gigantic and flabby eating the crap at your fast-food restaurants. Do you: a) add salads to the menu; b) stop supersizing; or c) invent the concept of a “fourth meal,” between dinner and breakfast, at which you can stuff yourself even fuller than you were before. Taco Bell chooses “c.” The chain has set up a Web site called FourthMeal.com, which features a virtual town whose pajama-clad inhabitants are devoted to playing games and wolfing down enormous amounts of “melty, crunchy, spicy, grilled” Taco Bell food at inappropriate times. What does the news media think of the fourth-meal idea? A typical headline: “Dieticians wary of ‘fourth meal.’” What a surprise.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 19, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (31)

‘Portly old dweeb’ versus ‘smug little twit’

Over at Slate, Seth Stevenson finally weighs in on the new Apple ads, and he doesn’t like them much. “My problem with these ads begins with the casting,” he writes. “As the Mac character, Justin Long (who was in the forgettable movie Dodgeball and the forgettabler TV show Ed) is just the sort of unshaven, hoodie-wearing, hands-in-pockets hipster we’ve always imagined when picturing a Mac enthusiast. He’s perfect. Too perfect. It’s like Apple is parodying its own image while also cementing it.” Stevenson prefers the other actor, John Hodgman. He explains: “The ads pose a seemingly obvious question—would you rather be the laid-back young dude or the portly old dweeb?—but I found myself consistently giving the ‘wrong’ answer: I’d much sooner associate myself with Hodgman than with Long.” Stevenson, a PC user, says the ads give him little reason to switch. Maybe Apple should bring back Ellen Feiss, the Benadryl-afflicted star of that old “Switchers” ad. No could could accuse her of being a “smug little twit.”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 19, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (27)
Filed under John Hodgman

Just what we need: videos on our blimps

We’ve always enjoyed blimps, mostly because they don’t seem to fly so much as lurk. (There was a great photo a few years back, which we can’t find right now, of Pepsi’s Aquafina blimp floating above Coca-Cola’s Atlanta headquarters, silently taunting the Coke employees below.) Now, Adland points to a frightening development in blimp technology: the A-170 Video Lightsign Airship from The Lightship Group. As if displaying a giant static logo weren’t enough, this thing has a gigantic video screen that can play commercials. The ads will have to be silent, though—there is no ear-splitting audio system on this beast, at least not yet. It also doesn’t airdrop batches of fliers, but perhaps that’s in development, too.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 19, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (5)

One word or two? Some ads don’t care.

“Workout and you will soon go up the corporate and social ladder.” Is this headline the work of WriterElf? There’s a whole series of these FitnessOne ads posted at Twenty-Four, and each one of them spells “work out” as one word instead of two. And the quality doesn’t improve much from there. (At least there are no punctuation problems.) It reminds me of the old Toyota tagline, “Everyday,” which at the time provoked a near-revolt among some Saatchi copywriters, who believed it should have been two words, “Every day.” But the one-word version, meaning “ordinary” or “commonplace” (probably not the message Toyota really intended), was chosen anyway, because it was “cleaner” visually. Some of the Saatchi writers complained that the “Everyday” line actually “hurt their eyes.” These FitnessOne ads do the same.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on June 19, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (4)