AdFreak overdoes eggnog, passes out cold

Once again, we’re powering down for the holidays, so no new posts this week as we recharge for 2008. We’ll be back on Jan. 2. Thanks for reading this year, and have a great holiday.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on December 24, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

FREAKIEST ADVERTISING MOMENT OF 2007: Dexter’s viral defeats Pioneer for the title

After two weeks of brutal competition, the viral campaign for the Showtime program Dexter, which encouraged you to send terrifying videos to friends suggesting they were about to be offed by a serial killer, has won AdFreak’s Freakiest Ad Moment of 2007 contest. Pioneer’s laughing eyeballs put up a good fight but are no longer laughing, as Dexter prevails with about 55 percent of the final vote. Kudos also go to Canada’s Lost Jaw guy and Skittles’ milked man for making impressive runs to the Final Four, despite their rather obvious physiological handicaps. (See the final bracket here.) We believe that the British digital ad agency Ralph created the Dexter viral, so we’ll get a nice champions’ package together for them. Failing that, we may just send them a threatening e-mail. Thanks to all of you for voting. And keep the freaky ads coming.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on December 21, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (4)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

Eagles take road out of Eden into Facebook

The Nation has finally discovered Facebook. Ari Melber has written a lengthy piece about how the site is killing personal privacy. Of course, privacy by any reasonable definition died long ago, but the essay is thorough and well reasoned, at one point positing, “Like guests at the Hotel California, people who check out of Facebook have a hard time leaving. Profiles of former members are preserved in case people want to reactivate their accounts. And all users’ digital selves can outlive their creators.” Which made me wonder: Just how popular are the Eagles on the social networking site? Well, pretty darn popular! As a band they have 545,000-plus fans. Don Henley has 11,811 fans, but a bad ’70s ’fro. That hair can check out any time it likes. Glen Frey (with one N) has just 173 fans, while Glenn Frey (with two N’s, he’s the “real one”) has 849. As far as privacy goes, the Eagles put it most succinctly: “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device.” Think about it. Ari, by the way, has no Facebook profile I could find. Sign up, Ari! Maybe Glen Frey will poke you. It won’t be the famous one, but it’s a start!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 21, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wake up to a tasty serving of Cox Sausage

Dewey Cox, soon to grace movie screens in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, wouldn’t be much of a fake celebrity if he didn’t have a fake product to shill. Hence, this spot for Cox Sausage, in which the jokes all but send a telegram to let you know they’re coming. Still, hearing about the “big Cox smoker” got a snort out of me. This actually looks like an interesting flick, and we’ll have to see if his hearty appetite for Cox Sausage contributes to the inevitable bloated, purple, dead-on-the-toilet phase of his career.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on December 21, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Kiefaber

At least your work wasn’t this bad in 2007

What were the biggest marketing blunders of 2007? I’m too buzzed on eggnog to compile my own list, but both Fortune and Collateral Damage have amusing roundups. The former (which we Twittered earlier in the week) selects Procter & Gamble at No. 1 for putting kids’ pictures on a diaper boxes without forking over the big bucks, or even informing their parents. (Hey, I was at that casting call. I really should’ve shaved.) Topping the Collateral Damage chart: Take Two Software’s inclusion of O.J. Simpson as a player for a team called the Assassins in its All Pro Football game. I’m not sure that’s a blunder, since O.J.’s inclusion makes me want to check out a product I’d normally have zero interest in. Go, Juice! Cartoon Network’s outdoor push for its Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie placed high on both lists. Parent company Turner Broadcasting shelled out $2 million to the city of Boston after the campaign ignited ... sorry, strike that ... I mean, set off ... sigh, just forget it ... a bomb scare in Boston. Given the quality of the film in question, I’d say a bomb scare was pretty much inevitable.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)

New LifeStyles campaign lets it all hang out

Condom company LifeStyles, an advertiser that lost its sheath long ago when it comes to saucy (often sophomoric) ads, asks “What’s your LifeStyle?” in its first effort from AMP Agency. Surprise: The work makes with the risque images and bawdy wordplay. Brandweek’s description borders on breathless: “For the ‘Bold’ lifestyle, the creative features a shot of a young woman in a public bathroom hiking up her skirt to reveal her right butt-cheek, while swinging a pink metallic purse in her right hand. Another, ‘Well-Rounded,’ features a close-up of a voluptuous female rear in which the subject is tugging at her pink-striped underwear.” Can you say “rear” on the Internet? Barbara Lippert calls the ads “too, too cheeky,” and they’re really not so hot. Neither was my dating lifestyle, which could best be described as “Frightening” (by prospective partners) and “Desperate” (by me). Where’s the LifeStyles ad for all of us losers? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see HR. You can say “rear” on the Internet, but there’s apparently a problem with me doing so via company servers on company time.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (6)
Filed under Condoms, LifeStyles

Child mental-health ads too hot to handle

Controversy seems inevitable when you create ransom-note- style ads beginning with phrases like, “We have taken your son.” But apparently it’s the message, not the approach, that has put a quick end to a new poster campaign for the Child Study Center. The ads, which you can see at Osocio, were created pro bono by BBDO to raise awareness of psychiatric disorders like depression, autism, ADHD and OCD. The writing is terse and visceral. “We have your daughter,” one poster says. “We are forcing her to throw up after every meal she eats.” But not all disorders are as clear-cut as bulimia. Advocates for children with autism felt the campaign perpetuated negative stereotypes with phrases like, “He will no longer be able to care for himself or interact socially as long as he lives.” While it’s obvious the campaign was intended to spark controversy, Child Study Center founder Dr. Harold S. Koplwicz raises a valid point when he says, “It’s the first time that the issue of children’s mental health has gotten national attention without being precipitated by a shooting at a high school or college.”

—Posted by David Griner

Published on December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (6)
Filed under Griner

If Sam Raimi had made forklift safety videos

Leave it to the Germans to outdo the Canadian workplace advisories with clockwork efficiency, as Klaus the Forklift Operator goes on an accidental rampage that would put Evil Dead fans off their breakfast. It may also rank as the most inauspicious first day at work of all time. The gruesomeness really kicks in around the five-minute mark. Enjoy! (Read more about the short film here. Apparently some companies have actually used it as a training video.)

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Kiefaber, Workplace safety

Ice-skating testicle roughed up on the rink

It’s a shame this ad arrives so late in the year, as it would be a shoo-in for at least an Elite Eight appearance in our Freaky Advertising Moment of 2007 contest. It features a testicle who’s having a ball practicing its salchows, but keeps getting slammed by a hockey player, leaving hairs all over the ice. The tagline: “Check your balls,” reveals it to be a campaign for testicular-cancer awareness. See the whole Carpe Testes effort here. The agency is Struck in Salt Lake City.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)

FREAKIEST ADVERTISING MOMENT OF 2007, CHAMPIONSHIP GAME: Dexter vs. Pioneer

Our Freakiest Advertising Moment of 2007 contest comes down to this: a viral effort that made your “friends” feel like they were being targeted by a serial killer, versus an ad campaign that attempted to sell TVs by showing eyeballs with mouths. Freaky, indeed. Vote for a winner below through noon on Friday. See the full bracket here.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Championship game:
Dexter’s viral campaign vs. Pioneer’s laughing-eye ads.

  Dexter’s viral campaign made a murderous late charge in the Final Four and left the Lost Jaw guy with egg on his already-overtaxed face. Now, it faces Pioneer’s creepy eye-mouths, which shut down the dairy dreams of Skittles’ milked man. Which one will be crowned the Freakiest Advertising Moment of 2007?
  UPDATE: And the winner is Dexter! See the vote totals here.

Published on December 20, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (4)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

PETA enjoys chilly holiday in its snowglobe

Ah, PETA, what would we do without your cyber snowglobe reminding us whom to despise this holiday season—and the animal-related reasons why they’ve earned our disgust? There’s Michael Vick, wearing a football helmet and an inmate’s jumpsuit, exercising in the prison yard. Everyone knows about Vick’s dogfighting, but here are some other celebs who’ve wronged our furry friends: the Olsen twins, Kate Moss and Anna Wintour (all for wearing fur); Dick Cheney (for hunting); and Colonel Sanders (for chicken torture). I applaud the late Colonel’s inclusion. He deserves to get pecked for all eternity by a giant devil-chicken, if only because KFC’s greasy, bland food sucks. As for the others, well, most people already disliked them, even without the animal-cruelty angle, so I guess they’re fair game. Oops, “fair game’s” a hunting reference. Fur would keep you warm in that chilly globe. Oh, right—no fur. I’d better watch out. And so should McKinney’s Snowglobe Boy, who may see Michael Vick break his record shortly.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)

No more child’s play for Jamie Lynn Spears

Due to recent events, Jamie Lynn Spears might have to find a new angle for her commercial work, now that her cheerleader promos (above) and spots for pastel-colored karaoke headsets seem a little dated.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Puma’s robot working overtime for holidays

OK, I’ve taken some shots at robots this year. They devalue our humanity, and will soon kill us all. Plus, the Shave Bot threw me over for a toaster she met on Match.com. Still, I’ve found a place in my heart for Puma’s special holiday-season “G1ft Bot 2007.” He’s got a merry workshop, like a regular Santa Claws. Click on the boom-box and he dances! (Is that “the robot” he’s doing? Doesn’t matter, that guy can move.) Now I regret ever suggesting that our metal friends wanted to kill all humans. Oh, and look what just rolled into my cubicle at AdFreak: a giant metallic gift box in the shape of a horse! How clever and distinctive. I guess the ’bots have decided to make up with me, too. I can’t wait to see what’s inside!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Robots

Romney and Clinton’s odd new commercials

You may not be planning to commit a federal crime in the next few years. But if you blunder into one, wouldn’t you like to think there’s some chance a merciful president would pardon you? If so, a new commercial for Mitt Romney may incline you to vote against him. In the course of attacking Mike Huckabee as soft on crime, the spot makes the peculiar boast that Romney “never pardoned a single criminal.” Who’d have thought a candidate would choose to depict himself as so pitiless? Odd as it is, though, this claim seems slightly less so than one made for Hillary Clinton in one of her new spots. In it, we see Clinton’s mother say of Hillary, “She never was envious of anybody.” Have you ever decided to vote for or against a political candidate based on your sense of whether the person was prone to envy? Seems unlikely. And of all the sins Clinton’s detractors have accused her of, envy has scarcely been conspicuous among them. People often complain that campaign advertising is too negative. Maybe they should start complaining that it’s too weird.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Are there any advergames that don’t suck?

I’ve seen the stats: Millions of Internet users play casual games. OK, now add in the notion of “engagement.” What do you get? Lots of advertiser casual games. As a reporter, I play these games. I’ve urinated on cats in the name of establishing a relationship with Meaty Bone, washed babies to identify with Johnson’s, and most recently hurled Charmin at polar bears. Other than a few of the auto games, I simply don’t get them. Maybe it’s because middle-aged women are the more likely profile of the casual gamer, but these experiences leave a lot to be desired. The most annoying part is the brand, ever eager to appease the in-control consumer, makes them totally unchallenging. Has anyone seen an actual compelling casual advergame?

—Posted by Brian Morrissey

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (9)
Filed under Morrissey

Randy scamp? Or one-man disease vector?

For those who think Axe is too subtle in its group-sex insinuations, we bring you this TV spot for Italian energy drink Burn. It’s safe for work, unless you work at an STD clinic. Personally, I thought we’d moved past the point of glorifying guys who sack five or six women in a night. Bah, who am I kidding? But something tells me this energy drink isn’t the only morning “burn” he’ll be enjoying. Via Ads of the World.

—Posted by David Griner

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Griner

Canadian workplace-safety ads frighten kids

Turns out Americans weren’t the only ones grossed out by those explicit Workplace Safety and Insurance Board of Ontario ads. (We wrote about them here.) Canadians were also uncomfortable, as perhaps we should have expected. In fact, the city of Windsor “is refusing to place WSIB’s print ads in bus shelters, citing their ‘disturbing’ nature and gory images.” They specifically object to a gory ad in which a construction worker has been impaled by an oversized forklift operation manual, claiming that it would frighten children. And it probably would. But they don’t have to work in factories yet, so they’re fine. At least the ads don’t suggest that workplace accidents will give them genital herpes.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Kiefaber, Workplace safety

FREAKY AD MOMENTS OF 2007, FINAL 4: Canada’s Lost Jaw guy vs. Dexter’s viral

The Freakiest Advertising Moment of 2007 contest started with 64 contenders. Now, we’re down to just four. See the full bracket here. Vote below, through midnight Wednesday, for the two you’d like to see in the championship round.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Matchup #1:
Canada’s Lost Jaw anti-dip ads vs. Dexter’s viral campaign.

  Mr. Scabby Face survived an Elite Eight showdown with the anorexic. Now, he faces Dexter’s creepy “Make a friend feel like the target of a serial killer” viral campaign, which disarmed The Back-Up bedside shotgun in the previous round. Who will make mincemeat of whom?
  UPDATE: Dexter’s viral campaign leaves the Lost Jaw guy even more bruised and bloody than he was before. See the vote totals here.

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

FREAKY AD MOMENTS OF 2007, FINAL 4: Pioneer’s mutants vs. Skittles’ milked man

Matchup #2:
Pioneer’s laughing-eye ads vs. Skittles’ milked man.

  In the previous round, Pioneer’s mouth-eyes stared down Starburst’s little lad, then chewed him to pieces. Likewise, Skittles’ milked man lactated himself into the Final Four with a textbook dismantling of Volkswagen’s bird-poop eater. It’s eyes against teats for a spot in the big game.
  UPDATE: Pioneer’s mouth-eyes find enough votes to send the milkman home. See the vote totals here.

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

Arnold again indulges in Christmas strippers

When it comes to being naughty or nice during the office holiday-party season, Havas’s Arnold for the second straight year goes for nasty. In 2006, staffers stripped in creative director Pete Favat’s Boston office. This year, Arnold’s New York outpost greased the poll, with Agency Spy reporting on burlesque antics involving thongs and pasties and speculating about female employees feeling “alienated” (no doubt) and their male counterparts feeling “guilty” (yeah, save that story for your wives). If Arnold’s advertising campaigns were as hot as its parties, it’d be smelting gold at Cannes, to use a really ridiculous metaphor. You know what AdFreak’s holiday party was like? Stale Doritos in the editor’s “ski chalet” (it’s really just his garage) with last year’s withered decorations hanging like so many stockings filled with coal. And the guests! That super-skinny model and the dude with half a jaw barely touched the jalapeño dip, and when the Little Lad dropped his pantaloons to show us his “berries and cream,” I knew it was time to go home.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (20)

AKQA wishes you a very gerbily Christmas

Merry Christmas from AKQA, whose gerbil-powered lights might as well spell out “Suck it, PETA” for all the complaints they may get. (OK, so it’s not excessive abuse.) The gerbils run in their little wheel intermittently (sometimes extremely so) from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., and by all accounts they enjoy toiling for the amusement of their humanoid oppressors. If AKQA really wants to impress, though, the rodents better make a good showing on Christmas Eve. Christmas music could invigorate them, though might AdFreak suggest the most inspiring song ever written would bring better results?

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Kiefaber

FREAKY AD MOMENTS OF 2007, ELITE 8: Italy’s anorexia ads vs. Canada’s Lost Jaw

The stakes are getting high in our Freakiest Advertising Moment of 2007 contest, which continues today with the Elite Eight. (See the full bracket here.) Four freaky matchups are featured below. Vote for a winner in each one. Voting in this round continues through midnight on Tuesday night.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Matchup #1:
Italy’s anti-anorexia ads vs. Canada’s anti-dip ads.

  Isabelle Caro became the extremely skinny Cinderella story of the tourney when she took down the great undead Orville in the Sweet Sixteen. Now she goes up against Mr. Bloody Face, with a spot in the Final Four at stake.
  UPDATE: Lost Jaw backs up his trash talking with a solid win. See the vote totals here.

Published on December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

FREAKY AD MOMENTS OF 2007, ELITE 8: Back-Up bedside gun rack vs. Dexter’s viral

Matchup #2:
The Back-Up bedside gun rack vs. Dexter’s viral campaign.

  The ultraviolent matchup of the tournament so far. Is the Back-Up quick enough on the draw to take down the serial killer and his creepy viral marketing? Only one contestant will advance; the other’s lifeless corpse will be dragged off.
  UPDATE: Dexter saws off the shotgun and advances. See the vote totals here.

Published on December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

FREAKY AD MOMENTS OF 2007, ELITE 8: Starburst’s lad vs. Pioneer’s laughing eyes

Matchup #3:
Starburst’s little lad vs. Pioneer’s laughing-eye ads.

  The little lad continues his grating, dandyish progression through the tournament, but here he faces biological experiments gone wrong in Pioneer’s Kuro campaign. Expect the lad to sing a particularly shrill berries-and-cream song if he advances.
  UPDATE: Pioneer’s mouthy eyes send the little lad home early. See the vote totals here.

Published on December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Freakiest-2007

FREAKY AD MOMENTS OF 2007, ELITE 8: VW bird-poop eater vs. Skittles milked man

Matchup #4:
VW’s bird-poop-eating ad vs. Skittles’ milked man.

  Volkswagen’s poop-ingesting driver cleaned up in the early rounds, but now he faces some daunting opposition in Skittles Sours’ laconic man-cow. Neither spot tasted great going down, but only one will advance.
  UPDATE: The milked man surges into the Final Four. See the vote totals here.

Published on December 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Freakiest-2007