Viewers who proudly live and die by ESPN

Maybe I'm just not into brands as much as the next person. At the Advertising Research Foundation's Re:Think conference today, ESPN sales dude Sean Bratches proudly trotted out the fact that 31 children have been named “ESPN,” or some derivation thereof, in recent years. I shuddered. Seriously, how does that baby-naming conversation start? You have to imagine it’s the guy’s idea. And by the way, this is why other parts of the world think we’re nuts. Bratches added that customer infatuation with the Worldwide Leader in Sports goes beyond birth to the afterlife. Recently, he said, a woman contacted the network to inform them that her husband left this world while watching Baseball Tonight, presumably while listening to Joe Morgan. She wanted to include ESPN on his tombstone somehow. Naturally, her call was routed to ad sales, which, together with legal, determined it was OK so long as the tombstone read “ESPN Fan.” Just so nobody got the idea that the Worldwide Leader was anything but alive and kicking.

—Posted by Brian Morrissey

Published on March 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (5)
Filed under Morrissey

Al Gore putting $300 million into green ads

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you vice president Dick Cheney’s rebuttal to Al Gore’s recent comments on 60 Minutes: “First off all, Mr. Former Vice President, I didn’t actually watch the show, because the cable’s out here at my undisclosed location, 1,000 feet below ground in the foothills of Wyoming. Oh, damn! We’ll have to change locations. Anyway, my aides told me about your little diatribe. You suggested I was ignorant enough to believe the moon landings were staged at a movie lot in Montana. Well, I was there. And they were. Jimmy Caan played Neil Armstrong. We wanted Heston, but he was doing a Planet of the Apes sequel or something. As for global warming and your $300 million ad campaign: Play Gingrich’s part backwards, and you’ll hear a plug for Haliburton. You’ve been punk’d! And not a single Dixie Chick is named Dixie. Now who looks naive? Excuse me while I relocate to the other top-secret base at the Bonneville Salt Flats in ... dammit! I’m staying right here. With the price of gas these days, it’s too expensive to leave anyway.”

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on March 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Gianatasio

Goodby and Silverstein not aging well at all

Much of Jeff Goodby and Rich Silverstein's work has a timeless quality to it. Not so the agency co-founders themselves, for whom a few too many grains of sand appear to have fallen through the hourglass. A busy 25 years in business together have left both men wrinkled, senile and generally a mess, judging by this humorous video invitation for Goodby, Silverstein & Partners’ 25th anniversary party on May 8. Thank God for the agency’s younger staffers, who are keeping their bosses sprightly, or at least not drooling all over each other. The makeup (nice jowls on Jeff, in particular) was done by Drac Studios, two-time Oscar winners for achievement in makeup, for Mrs. Doubtfire and Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Nudd

Anti-religion ad curbs sale of loaves, fishes

From the days of the Crusades and surely before that, innocent bystanders have often been left wounded by religious battles. So it was this Easter for Straub’s Seafood restaurant in Orange County, Fla. An anonymous ad with the message “All religions are fairy tales” appeared a week earlier on the same billboard often used to promote the nearby Straub’s. Although the eatery was uninvolved, business reportedly dropped by two-thirds on Easter Sunday. The offending sign was soon removed, with billboard owner MediaNet claiming it was the work of vandals. But by then, the damage was done. Let’s hope there’s not a retaliation effort afoot. Someone please think of the poor defenseless seafood! Via Fark.

—Posted by David Griner

Published on March 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Griner

Ford spots offering death by furry monster

The good news about the Ford Ka, according to these four ads from JWT Argentina, is that it seats more people than ever. The bad news, according to the same ads, is that riding in one makes you vulnerable to Argentina’s giant cannibal Ewok overlords (who might even have made the spots themselves, if the tagline, “Now with space for more humans,” is any indication). At the risk of sounding uncharitable, we’d rather not make ourselves easier prey than we already are.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on March 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Kiefaber

Break glass in event of evil warrior priests

You know, I always wondered if the Jedi kept their lightsabers behind emergency glass. Another question from childhood answered, thanks to Spike TV! These bus-shelter ads still beg a few questions, though. Surely there have to be other uses for lightsabers besides fighting Darth Whoever in Star Wars prequels. What about rancor attacks? Or rogue, jetpack-toting guns-for-hire? Or what if someone who isn’t a huge monster or a magic alien decides to wreak a little havoc? You could probably use a lightsaber to fend off this guy. Via Urbanite, which has a few more ads from the campaign.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on March 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Kiefaber

OurStage artists now get a bigger stage

OurStage, an online talent community where fans vote for the best upcoming music and video artists, says it’s forged a partnership with AOL. According to the release: “The partnership will give OurStage artists major visibility on AOL Music, and will give everyone on AOL Music the chance to be their own A&R by judging the unsigned and indie artists vying ... to win cash prizes as well as development prizes.” The missive makes much of “social music.” Amy Winehouse must be anti-social music. OurStage says that Plushgun, Sydney Wayser and The Forms are about to “break through.” Well, somebody better knock Flo Rida off the radio—enough with those beats, already. Now, here’s a song OurStage doesn’t play, though it is related to today’s biggest media news: the Internet Celebrities jammin’ on “Net Neutrality.”

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on March 28, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Gianatasio

Helpless tongue scorched by spicy Doritos

It's turning out to be the Year of the Tongue in advertising. We had the loutish Coke Zero tongues, Burger King’s excited morning tongue, and Hyundai’s long dog tongue. Now, we get a spicy jumping tongue in a new U.K. spot by AMV BBDO for Doritos Chili Heatwave chips. This new ad is most similar to the old Tooheys Extra Dry spot, in that the organ flees its owner in search of liquid relief. On the subject of generally distressed tongues, see this AdFreak post from June 2005, which was originally about Altoids sour gum but has since become a little community of healing for consumer mouths ravaged by all sorts of spicy gums and candies. 

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 28, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Freaky, Nudd

The slithering dread of sexual abuse lingers

Ah, a nice Friday morning to sit back, sip your coffee, get all caught up on your favorite Twitter feeds. Oh, and maybe get seriously disturbed by this ultra-creepy German ad about the lingering trauma of sexual abuse. It’s safe for work and all, as long as your co-workers don’t mind you randomly shuddering throughout the day. The spot was created by agency Red Rabbit for Dunkelziffer e.V., a group that helps sexually abused children. I’ll go out on a limb and guess that we’ll be seeing this spot again if we do a 2008 version of our Freakiest Ad Moments tournament. Hat tip to Oscocio, where you can find the full credits.

—Posted by David Griner

Published on March 28, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (5)
Filed under Freaky, Griner

Orkin snubs giant insect in his hour of need

Dude, calling the Orkin goon squad on this poor giant bug is a little harsh. He just wanted to use the phone. So what if he liked the look of the oak floors in the house? Doesn’t prove anything. It wasn’t like he was leaning out of his van’s driver-side window and asking kids about Pokémon or something. Now he has to feel unwelcome driving through the neighborhood because the forces of gentrification are keeping constant vigil. Dick move, man. When that bug robs a liquor store a few ads from now, we’ll know why. Spot by The Richards Group in Dallas. Via Advertolog.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on March 28, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Freaky, Kiefaber, Pest control, Richards Group

UPS ads go high-tech with Whiteboard 2.0

Here's the new UPS Whiteboard spot starring Martin Agency creative director Andy Azula. As you’ll notice, they’ve broken form a bit by adding animation and an iPhone-like interface with the whiteboard. I don’t mind the effect, but it does kinda do away with the charming simplicity of looking at, you know, a whiteboard. By the way, has all this work in front of the camera shed some pounds off Azula, or is he just buying baggier clothes? And why won’t he address the serious issues, like monkey sex or female fecal bonding?

—Posted by David Griner

Published on March 28, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Griner

Rapping in support of better Internet design

When we hear the phrase "How Web standards and proper design can affect the ranking and conversion of pages on your site," we always think of another phrase, "funky fresh beat." This is because we are woefully out of touch with modern hip-hop. The Poetic Prophet (aka The SEO Rapper) isn't much better. While his newest jam is educational, creationists drop better science. But I'll give him credit for dodging the normally racist YouTube comment hate, since they “bow and recognize ... the best video on the Internet. Period.” I bet they like this guy, too. Via The Denver Egotist.

—Posted by David Kiefaber 

Published on March 28, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Kiefaber

Something's wrong with my robo-babysitter

Dear Aeon Co.: There seems to be some mistake. Last Saturday night, I rented one of your robo-babysitters for Junior. The missus and I have had trouble finding local teens for the job because they’re too busy uploading fake pictures to their MySpace accounts. Also, Junior starts fires. But that’s a story for another day. We requested your 1.4-meter model with the ad-projector eyes. Ads for Volvo would have been especially appreciated. (Sorry, since that hypnosis focus group, I can’t get Volvo out of my mind.) However, you sent us a somewhat larger model, which then proceeded to decimate the neighborhood. At first I was upset. But frankly, Junior’s never been so well behaved and quiet. (The doctors say he’s “traumatized,” but that’s a big word I’m too lazy to look up.) In fact, I’d like to reserve the big metal guy for the upcoming weekend! Since he ate my Prius, I’m heading out to buy a Volvo C70 which, as we know, combines sleek and stylish design with class-leading safety features to turn heads everywhere it goes!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on March 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Gianatasio

Don't drive distracted, says distracting ad

A billboard in Wisconsin warning motorists not to get distracted while driving is itself getting criticized for being too distracting. “When I tried reading every word on that sign, I started leaving my lane,” says one driver, in a report from the local TV station. Saatchi New Zealand recently did a more creative safe-driving billboard campaign, which showed a succession of family snapshots on roadside ads clustered closely together. “Don’t let your life flash before you,” said the final boards. “Slow down.”   

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Nudd

Fake tans: dangerous or just unattractive?

The Indoor Tanning Association launches a marketing campaign today to try to convince the pastier among us that artificial tanning is not dangerous, contrary to some reports. You can see the group’s big New York Times ad here, which is notable for putting the words “Tanning causes melanoma” in giant type. (The word “Hype” is then stamped on, too, but you’ve already started to wonder.) The group claims that studies warning against prolonged tanning in the sun or use of indoor tanning beds have relied on “junk science.” Whether or not artificial tanning is dangerous, we point once again to this Holiday Inn commercial to demonstrate that it can certainly be funny.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Nudd

Kids today, always looking so good online

I was a teenager once. Back then, we rode horses 20 miles to school every day. Or maybe we rode dinosaurs. It was almost that long ago. There were no home computers. No Facebook. No Photoshop. There were photo shops at the mall, but most of us used Polaroid instant cameras. Thank God those will never die out! My point: We were all covered head to toe in zits and whatnot, and there wasn’t a damn thing we could do about it, because acne creams didn’t work way back when (it’s hard to believe, I know), and we couldn’t “enhance” or “fake” our appearances online. Today, of course, one can post David Beckham’s picture on one’s MySpace page; I don’t know who would do such a thing, but I want to assure Mr. Beckham’s attorneys that I’m abiding by the restraining order and it won’t happen again. Oh, there’s a new survey by OTX Research and Intelligence Group, which found that teens are happier with how they look online (78 percent) than in real life (68 percent). Stop. The. Presses. My point: I’ll play Styx as loud as I want today, because I’m feeling kind of sad about my lost youth. Stick your nose back in your own cubicle, Fred!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on March 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (6)
Filed under Gianatasio

SunChips billboards enjoy spring sunshine

Kind of a cool billboard for SunChips, part of a campaign written up by Stuart Elliott in The New York Times this morning. In New York, it probably took some time to find billboard locations that actually get a decent amount of direct sunlight every day. Not to mention, the ads might look a little odd at night and on cloudy days. Other billboards have made use of shadows, of course—notably, McDonald’s sundial and the World Wildlife Fund’s rising-oceans ad.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Nudd

Greeting cards for incarcerated loved ones

Nothing rehabilitates a prisoner quite like getting passive-aggressively browbeaten by his friends and family on the outside. At least, that appears to be the rationale behind attorney Terrye L. Cheathem’s line of inmate greeting cards. It’s a nice gesture, but the cards tend towards messages like “You had the choice to be ’naughty or nice.’ And you chose ... oh well, now you have to do your time.” Which is about as inspiring as “Don’t be no one’s bitch.” Cheathem further describes her cards as “one product no one wants to receive and no one wants to buy, but if you need it, it’s there.” Now there’s a message I can get behind.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on March 27, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Kiefaber

Raise a pint glass to the real Samuel Adams

Boston Beer Co. doesn't seem to be paying much attention to the HBO miniseries John Adams, even though one of its main characters is John’s cousin Samuel Adams, the Boston revolutionary who inspired the brewer’s most popular beer. This may be because Sam Adams is presented on the program as little more than a common thug whose idea of a good time is watching British dudes get Gatoraded with tar. If Jim Koch wants to set the record straight about the real Sam Adams, he should enlist the historian Jeremy Stern for a testimonial. On the History News Network’s Web site, Stern criticizes the depiction of Sam as “a leering, ranting, even dangerous fanatic ... the very image of the corrupt urban politician.” In fact, says Stern, “praise for Samuel’s character went beyond Massachusetts. In 1819, Thomas Jefferson, who had no reason to polish Samuel’s record, wrote ... ‘I can say that he was truly a great man, wise in council, fertile in resources, immoveable in his purposes.’ ” Regular viewers, meanwhile, are waiting for Sam’s big bar scene. As one reviewer writes, “Will Sam Adams finally give the others a taste of that new ale he’s been raving about?”

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 26, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Nudd

The day they broke into Hal Riney's island

Hal Riney, the legendary adman who died this week at 75, was a guy who could appreciate a prank—even when it crossed a line. Back in 2001, Brian Grosenbaugh and Marc d’Avignon, two well-meaning, line-crossing employees of Publicis & Hal Riney, decided they wanted to learn a little more about their illustrious, semi-retired leader. So they decided to locate, and then infiltrate, his private island and vacation home in Honduras. Armed with only an 18-by-24-inch photo of Riney and a video camera, they embarked on their quest. Five airplanes and a boat ride later, they found an American expat at a Honduran bar who recognized Hal. With the help of the property’s caretaker, Grosenbaugh and d’Avignon were soon in the house, checking out Hal’s fishing rods, trying on his shirts and playing his guitar. They didn’t run into Riney himself, but ambushed him with their six-minute video at that year’s holiday party. “He was laughing, thank God,” d’Avignon told me at the time, in a piece I did for Adweek. D’Avignon, who now works for Wieden + Kennedy, wrote to me this week and reminded me of the story. “Over the next few days, ad guys and gals will sit on barstools from San Francisco to New York and tell stories about Hal Riney,” he wrote. “There are plenty and they’re all pretty good. I am grateful that I could be a part of one.” RIP, Hal.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 26, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Nudd

Spare a dime for the impecunious blogger?

A new survey says 96 percent of PR professionals would feel comfortable paying bloggers to mention their clients, and wouldn’t even care if the bloggers didn’t disclose the payment. And half of bloggers are apparently fine with that arrangement too! Gawker calls this a “disconnect,” but I don’t see why. PR types are on salary or some kind of retainer. Many bloggers, meanwhile, get paid by the click—if they’re lucky. (Even Huffington doesn’t pay. And you probably have to take Arianna’s calls. That voice—like nails on a chalkboard.) Here at AdFreak, of course, such deals may not work, as we rarely find ourselves gushing about much of anything. If companies would like us not to mention them, something could probably be arranged (wink, wink). Maybe we could keep a “Do not blog” opt-out list. Yeah, that could work ...

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Click to read more ...

Published on March 26, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (4)
Filed under Gianatasio

Blue Jays come out swinging in 2008 ads

Better baseball teams, it would seem, produce better ads. The Minnesota Twins and the Texas Rangers, both sub-.500 squads last season, grounded out to the pitcher with their 2008 ad salvos. The Toronto Blue Jays, meanwhile, who haven’t been in a World Series since the first Bush presidency but who had a (barely) winning record in the American League East last year, field a (somewhat) more pleasing campaign from the local office of Publicis. The three spots sausaged into the video above purport to show current Jays stars as kids some 20 years ago, when their baseball skills were already evident. That’s all well and good, but this is a Canadian team, and should have been banned from the American League years ago. What’s next, Opening Day in Japan?

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on March 26, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (4)
Filed under Gianatasio

TreeHouse Foods gets a vote of confidence

This week's free-publicity windfall goes to TreeHouse Foods, a Westchester, Ill.-based company whose products range from salsa to pie fillings. Its name appears on the Obamas’ tax returns, which the Obama campaign made public this week. As a CNN.com item explains, Michelle Obama was on the company’s board for a couple years, and was paid $51,200 in 2006. The company’s Web site says, “TreeHouse believes it is the largest manufacturer of pickles and non-dairy powdered creamer in the United States based on sales volume.” If Barack Obama becomes president and pickles start gracing the table at White House banquets, you’ll know why.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on March 26, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Dolliver

Scion Speak site lets you rat out your logo

You know, after all these years, I still enjoy a good "design your own (thing normally designed by professionals)." But the emphasis has to be on the word good, and that’s where StrawberryFrog earns points with its Scion Speak site, which lets you create a customized logo. According to The New York Times, “The agency spent six months last year escorting a graffiti artist, Tristan Eaton, around New York, Los Angeles and other cities to talk to Scion owners about their lifestyles.” The result is a site with slick urban graphics and a surprisingly intuitive navigation. What’s also interesting is the fact that the site represents Toyota’s focus on building loyalty among existing customers. I haven’t ridden in a Scion in years, but I still enjoyed creating this winged, rat-capped ode to awesomeness. Hat tip to Dan Shust on Twitter.

—Posted by David Griner

Published on March 25, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Griner

Gen Y's crusade to make NASA fun again

It wasn't long ago that patriotism, idealism and job security helped to fill the halls of NASA with some of our nation’s brightest young people—including, for the sake of disclosure, my mom. But things change, national priorities shift, and government agencies like NASA now face the daunting task of attracting a new generation of stellar employees.  Recently, four young NASA workers created a slideshow called “Generation Y Perspectives,” which has both earned praise and raised hackles throughout the space industry. The presentation (which you can download here) is a lucid and earnest appeal for NASA to re-ignite the enthusiasm for space by reaching out directly to today’s hyper-connected youth. The authors have even started the ball rolling by overhauling the OpenNASA blog and launching a Twitter feed. Their other marketing-savvy suggestions include having astronauts Twitter from space and letting kids control a Mars rover from their classroom. Not surprisingly, there’s been some backlash from those who feel the Gen Yers are being “self-indulgent, short-sighted, arrogant and brash.” But if they were truly self-indulgent, wouldn’t these young idealists have bypassed NASA and be comfortably employed somewhere that’s focused daily on appealing to new generations? Like, say, any corporation that cares about its future?

—Posted by David Griner

Published on March 25, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Griner