Captain Morgan seeking a running matey
So, Barack Obama tapped Joe Biden as his running mate. Good choice. Biden is so articulate, bright and clean. The focus now turns to another White House hopeful with a choice to make. I speak not of John McCain, but of Captain Morgan, whose presidential plank—quite literal in his case, as he is a pirate—mainly consists of "putting the party back in politics" and other pithy ad-speak. Whom should he tap as his first mate? Mr. Peanut? He's dapper and well spoken, but that accent makes me think he was born in a foreign land that doesn't share America's values (e.g., Madison Avenue), and the monocle won't play in Peoria. Joe Camel is in Big Tobacco's pocket. The Aflac duck could ruffle feathers trying to get a bill through Congress and cause a major flap. No, I nominate Toucan Sam, who could sit on the Captain's shoulder and parrot his policies as well as anyone. Or else Hillary Clinton. She could use a drink right about now.
—Posted by David Gianatasio
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