Quiznos oven craving some foot-long lovin'
Say what you will about the disturbing implications of this Quiznos ad from Nitro, but you'd be hard-pressed to forget the point: that Quiznos has foot-long meat tubes just waiting to be jammed in the hotbox for you. Oh, and they're $4. The talent deserves credit for squeezing a lot of subtle acting into a 30-second space. If you don't believe me, check out the guy's reaction when the oven says, "Put it in me, Scott." If those aren't the eyebrows of a man being propositioned by a horny appliance, I don't know what are. UPDATE: A slightly sanitized, less sexualized version of the ad is airing in earlier timeslots. |
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March 25, 2009 in Griner, Nitro, Quiznos, Restaurants | Permalink |
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The Burger King Flame Body Spray approach?
Posted by: AME | Mar 25, 2009 9:12:34 AM
I got hard.
Posted by: Aquaman | Mar 25, 2009 11:18:57 AM
It's just so hard to do good creative. Well at least if you work at Nitro.
Posted by: UGH | Mar 25, 2009 11:42:01 AM
This ad is amazing! I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it!
Posted by: | Mar 25, 2009 4:46:01 PM
Funny thing is, the ad is better than the product!
Posted by: Dennis McDonald | Mar 25, 2009 7:50:33 PM
I feel dirty after that.
Posted by: Rebecca Cullers | Mar 25, 2009 9:15:30 PM
What is the name of that song???
Posted by: Craiger | Mar 26, 2009 1:01:27 AM
What is the name of that song???
Posted by: Craiger | Mar 26, 2009 1:01:35 AM
What is the name of that song???
Posted by: Craiger | Mar 26, 2009 1:01:35 AM
What is the name of that song???
Posted by: Craiger | Mar 26, 2009 1:01:36 AM
So, what's with the sort of 'subliminal' flash of periscope at :06?
Posted by: moonbear | Mar 26, 2009 1:58:58 AM
DISCLAIMER: Failure to remove condom before inserting into mouth may cause nausea.
Posted by: Unconcerned Citizen | Mar 26, 2009 9:59:25 AM
The actor IS great. Also notice how he glances down at his crotch as he says "that burned" and then embarassingly looks away when the oven says "we both enjoyed that!" - almost like he's worried someone might hear. Combine that with the not-so-subtle imagery of a foot long sandwich being slipped into an awaiting sleeve, and you have an ad that's almost too sexy for mere mortals!
Posted by: | Mar 26, 2009 2:51:16 PM
I laugh EVERYTIME it comes on. And damn, hes more appitizing than the toasted torpedo ;)
Posted by: LoveLife | Mar 27, 2009 12:07:37 AM
I agree: sandwich sucks, ad is great. $4 is not such a bargain since it's only about 2" wide. Bread is kind of heavy for ciabatta.
Posted by: rayy | Mar 27, 2009 8:04:35 AM
What's disturbing? The homosexual banter on National Television is disturbing. The fact that the ad is gay as in not creative is equally disturbing.
Posted by: Andy | Mar 27, 2009 3:42:43 PM
the sandwich sucks. If you want stomach ache, have one.
Posted by: ED | Mar 27, 2009 6:26:39 PM
The actor definitely makes the commercial. He squeezes a lot of talent into a tiny space. If you find this commercial offensive then why are you searching the internet for it? It's clever, too subtle to be detrimental to younger children, and it makes you remember the product, so it does its job reasonably well. Kudos Quiznos. :thumbsup:
Posted by: Drew | Mar 28, 2009 11:28:16 AM
The problem here is the agency still believes in the idea that 'remembering for any reason is better than not remembering' and I'm just not sure if that's the case anymore. It's not 1965. A lot of people are going to be turned off--badaboom--by this commercial. Not necessarily in an 'I'm so offended' sort of way; you don't have to be majorly offended to still not want to eat at a place that sells its sandwiches by intimating that they are used in a dildonic way between a man and a masculine machine.
Posted by: Dildonics | Mar 28, 2009 11:55:56 AM
The problem here is the agency still believes in the idea that 'remembering for any reason is better than not remembering' and I'm just not sure if that's the case anymore. It's not 1965. A lot of people are going to be turned off--badaboom--by this commercial. Not necessarily in an 'I'm so offended' sort of way; you don't have to be majorly offended to still not want to eat at a place that sells its sandwiches by intimating that they are used in a dildonic way between a man and a masculine machine.
Posted by: Dildonics | Mar 28, 2009 11:55:56 AM
I also would like to know whats going on with the periscope as well. Any anyone else think they oven sounds a bit like HAL from 2001?
Anyway, as much as I like this comercial they still can't tear me away from their Prime Rib sammy with pepperoncini peppers on the side. Mmmm.
Posted by: HAL | Mar 29, 2009 2:08:35 AM
Dildonics you've hit it squarely on the head. This company has a long history of self-destructive marketing tactics. Their "dead rat" campaign still dances through my head at the mention of Quizno's and turns my stomach to this day. However, I'm now quite happy that dead rats and Quizno's sandwiches is an indelible memory otherwise "nasty sex" and Quiznos sandwiches would certainly take its place in making many former customers retch at the mere mention of their name.
Posted by: I will never forget | Mar 29, 2009 12:30:54 PM
Maybe I'm biased because I love me some Quiznos Subs, but I think this commercial is HILARIOUS. I thought the singing rats commercial was HILARIOUS. I don't see "dead rats" and think "wow, gross, I'm eating at an establishment that put tiny guitars into the hands of ugly rats" - who's equal parts annoying and cute accents suggest they might be from somewhere south of the border. Check plus!
I don't think this commercial is suggesting "nasty sex". Scott has to put the sandwich in the oven. The oven gets to back it and make it all toasty. The oven is really enthusiastic about his job. And Scott is an excellent actor. And Scott is hott. But I digress. It's just a silly commercial that, in my opinion, isn't too off-putting. It's attention grabbing.
Reasons why this commercial is kinda comic gold:
1. It parody's the notion of "sex sells". It is a tried and true form of advertising and is comically pulled off well by a place that sells sandwiches (case and point: SCOTT). The voice of the oven is perfect as well.
2. The subtle moment between the oven and Scott when he says "That burned". That could mean a number of things and personally, it just makes me giggle. I mean, i don't think it's to imply and "dildonic" action. It's def a jimmy joke, but who doesn't like jokes about your cock? What comes to mind is a scene from Family Guy, where Peter is at the office and sharpens all his pencils in the electric pencil sharpener out of boredom. When he runs out of pencils, Peter glances at the sharpener then his crotch and slyly looks away. It cuts to outside the office and the audience hears Peter scream. HILARIOUS. Oh that Peter Griffin, he is so silly. It's funny out of the simplicity of a pure curiosity. What kind of audience could Family Guy and this Quiznos commercial be going for? Anyone who likes Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen movies, Steve Carrel, etc...
3. At the end, it throws in a comic classic: the rule of 3. The oven makes Scott say "only $4" 3 times, each different and unique from the other. The oven even does a good job of this, by vocally changing how he said "sexier". And SCOTT... oh you, Scott, you naughty sandwich chef you, he said "only $4" different each time and the last time was perfect! The rule of 3 - guarantees some funny - if done well.
So yeah. I think I might grab some Quiznos for Lunch today, if I can find that luxury in Manhattan.
Adieu.
Posted by: Foxy Lady | Mar 29, 2009 2:54:43 PM
I just saw an edited version of this ad on Discovery channel that completely kills the subtle humor and the more overt lines. It's nowhere near as funny as the original.
Posted by: urban bohemian | Mar 29, 2009 7:27:46 PM
This add is completely out of line how dare quiznos insinuate that a man and a toaster can have sex... And you scott should ashamed of yourself. How dare you suggest that you stuck ur penis in the oven i will never eat at quiznos because apparently all quiznos employees have sex with the oven because if a paid actor on a commercial implied it then it must be true for all employees and chains of quiznos on earth and elsewhere. Also the "dildonic" insinuations of this add just tops it off... Whenever i eat a sub i will think of a foot long cock because apparently i reference everything in my life commercials about things... Get a life if u don't like it flip the channel its what i do when i see commercials i don't like..
Posted by: jesuslover | Mar 30, 2009 3:07:54 AM
I actually have been trying to find out who the actor is because his expressions are hilarious. Does anyone know who this guy is? As for this commercial being a bit over the top...who cares? I find it hilarious that this is an issue with some people. These folks seem to think that overt public references to sex such as these are ruining the moral fiber of America and will be our undoing. If you believe this to be true, I give you this for your consideration.
I took my girlfriend to the salon a couple weeks back. It is owned by this really cool Japanese broad and much of her clientele is Japanese as well. Well, I was thumbing through a Japanese magazine that seemed to be the equivalent of our "Good Housekeeping" and lo and behold, there was an add for coffee with a topless, rather large chested Japanese woman (I know!..and they were natural) sitting in a pile of coffee beans. In the corner of the add there was the a small picture of the packaged product. Here was an add, targeted at women, using overtly sexual images of a woman with no bearing to the actual product to sell and yet Japanese society is so much more closed up and shy about sex. Decent, in fact, by christian standards. Meanwhile here in the US we freak out about the rhetoric in a sub commercial being "gay" and yet everyone I know, including you crazy, judgemental christians are satiating their sexual urges in ways that would make a Japanese person go into convulsions.
So stop worrying. I got news for you, our moral fiber has already decayed. It rotted right under our noses from its pink little, pseudo christian center on out and not because of the decadence of TV, video games or rap music as these are only symptoms if anything but because of the decadence of our blatant hypocrisy by way of our silly christian scruples.
Posted by: Ian | Mar 30, 2009 4:42:03 AM
i'm not offended at the sexuality of the commercial, but i am kinda grossed out that it's sex with food.
i don't want "special sauce" on my sandwich. get it on with your appliances all you want, but keep your dong away from food prep surfaces.
Posted by: me | Mar 30, 2009 4:41:56 PM
Funny thing is you can't even say you don't like the ad because then you'd be saying a footlong doesn't satisfy you ... and that's just messed up.
Posted by: Bill | Mar 31, 2009 1:32:09 PM
Are you implying that the only people in America who have morals are Christian? That's ridiculous. I do find this ad to be disgusting. Quiznos has sunk pretty low to air these immature ads. How old are these advertising execs over there? 19? An embarrasment.
Posted by: lisa | Mar 31, 2009 5:00:16 PM
I never expect much from Nitro or the head of Quizno's. He's apparently back in the fold and continues to help kill his own brand. I applaud Nitro for making this utterly embarrassing homosexual piece of crap. It emulates the brand perfectly.
Posted by: Nitro Go Boom | Mar 31, 2009 7:08:28 PM
Well, apparently the ad has paid off--- look at how many of you chowderheads are getting bent about it!
That's the point...you may not go there and eat, but you will remember the commercial. Same way with the singing sponge monkies.... you remember those dontcha?
OK. . that said, let me say THIS:
GET THE F**K OVER IT ALREADY -- IT'S A COMMERCIAL FOR CRAP'S SAKE! GET LIVES WOULD YA!? DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR THE WORLD INSTEAD OF PISSING AND MOANING ABOUT THE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS OR THE DEVIANT FACTOR OF A COMMERCIAL!!
THOUSANDS OF US SOLDIERS ARE DYING, MANY OF THEM ON A DAILY BASIS, AND THIS COMMERCIAL IS WHAT TICKS YOU OFF? JEEZ!
Posted by: Scott | Apr 1, 2009 6:54:12 AM
I heard that Nitro is closing it's New York office and moving to San Francisco. What a treat!
Posted by: RaNDY | Apr 1, 2009 11:04:47 AM
Clearly this spot triggers a lot of discussion, and it is good to see that there are these different opinions. Kristin Ament also wrote a piece about it and how this commercial together with the new Carl’s Jr.’s one take the 'sex sells' argument a little too far. Check it out on unboundedition.com
Posted by: Jacco | Apr 1, 2009 2:09:42 PM
Scott and I have something that you normies will never understand.
Posted by: The Oven | Apr 1, 2009 4:08:50 PM
I want to meet Scott. And I promise nothing I want to do to him will burn.
Posted by: Calvin | Apr 1, 2009 11:34:28 PM
I prefer this ad unsanitized. It's good fun either way though.
Posted by: golublog | Apr 3, 2009 2:09:39 PM
is the actor greg sestero of the room fame? it looks just like him
Posted by: blah | Apr 5, 2009 10:45:10 PM
Haha. I happen to think this commercial is hilarious and am not offended by it at all. In fact, I send it to all my friends.
But...what's up with that periscope thing at 6 seconds? I even paused the video to see what it was.
Posted by: Emily | Apr 6, 2009 4:39:18 AM
I think this ad is funny, but it doesn't make me want a sandwich. It makes me wary of sexual harassment in the workplace, apparently has progressed from supervisors to appliances.
I wrote all about in my blog hither: http://mikepontiwantsajobinadvertising.blogspot.com/
That was a shameless plug.
Posted by: MikePonti | Apr 6, 2009 5:36:41 PM
Aw typos are embarrassing when trying to get people to read my writing on other sites. See above: "...workplace, [which] apparently..."
http://mikepontiwantsajobinadvertising.blogspot.com/
Posted by: MikePonti | Apr 6, 2009 5:37:50 PM
WORST SANDWICH IN AMERICA
Quizno’s Tuna Melt, large
1,760 calories
133 g fat (25 g saturated, 1.5 g trans)
92 g carbs
2,120 mg sodium
Tuna melts are scary because they sound so harmless—in almost all other forms, tuna is usually a smart and healthy choice. So what’s with the insane caloric overload? Blame the fat-packed mayo the tuna is mixed with, along with Quizno’s larger-than-life portion sizes. Even though they’ve managed to trim this melt down from the original 2,000-plus calorie mark when we first tested it, it still remains the worst sandwich we’ve found.
Posted by: Wake up | Apr 10, 2009 5:34:23 PM
Health Home> Health Experts> Eat This, Not That>The 8 Worst Sandwiches in America (Plus 8 More You'll Love!)
The 8 Worst Sandwiches in America (Plus 8 More You'll Love!)
Men's Health
By David Zinczenko, with Matt Goulding - Posted on Mon, Apr 06, 2009, 3:21 pm PDT
Eat This, Not That
by David Zinczenko, with Matt Goulding a Yahoo! Health Expert for Nutrition
Visit Nutrition Home »
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* The 8 Worst Sandwiches in America (Plus 8 More You'll Love!)
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Hoagies. Heroes. Grinders. Po’boys. Sandwiches go by a lot of different names, but they’re an undeniably American food. OK, maybe we didn’t exactly invent them. Many people credit England’s Earl of Sandwich, but he probably just popularized it in the 1700s. And he did know a good thing when he saw (and ate) it. In the 300 years, we’ve done plenty to advance the art of the sandwich. Problem is, we’ve done plenty to distort sandwiches, too, turning humble creations into caloric catastrophes weighed down by careless condiments, bloated breads, and an excess of ill-chosen toppings.
A little digging into the fast food and deli domain confirmed our greatest fears: that between two slices of bread, the food industry is cramming up to a full day’s worth of calories, fat, and sodium. Sure, towering Dagwoods and hulking hoagies are some of the most egregious offenders, but even the most innocently named cold-cut creations could be quietly, steadily sabotaging your waistline.
That's why you need to know what you're consuming. Eat This, Not That! scoured the delis and the sub shops from coast to coast to come up with this list of the worst sandwiches in America. We’re not the least bit willing to give up our handheld food of choice (grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches are basically American birthrights, after all), so we’ve provided you with plenty of ways to get your fix--without mainlining calories.
Herewith, our best and worst list. And while you’re at it, make sure you're not washing down the vast majority of your lunch with one of these high-calorie drinks.
WORST BREAKFAST SANDWICH
Au Bon Pain Sausage, Egg and Cheddar on Asiago Bagel
810 calories
47 g fat (23 g saturated, 0.5 g trans)
58 g carbs
1,540 mg sodium
A healthy breakfast sandwich can be a great start to your day—the protein-packed eggs and meat will keep you feeling fuller longer. But Au Bon Pain’s breakfast bagel isn’t what we had in mind. Cut calories by switching to bacon and Swiss there, and cut carbs by choosing an English muffin over a bagel, roll, or croissant.
EAT THIS, INSTEAD!
Scrambled Eggs Tomato and Spinach Wrap
390 calories
15 g fat (4 g saturated)
47 g carbs
650 mg sodium
(For other early morning sandwiches to dodge at home, check out THIS list of the 12 worst breakfast foods at the supermarket.)
WORST TURKEY SANDWICH
Atlanta Bread Company Turkey Bacon Rustica
960 calories
56 g fat (19 g saturated)
62 g carbs
2,480 mg sodium
Sandwiches shouldn’t top much more than 500 calories; this one gobbles up almost half your daily allowance. While it’s loaded with protein, it’s also packed with saturated fat and more than a day’s worth of sodium (the blame falls largely on the one-two punch of mayo and pesto).
EAT THIS, INSTEAD!
Turkey on Nine Grain
370 calories
6 g fat (2 g saturated)
50 g carbs
1,240 mg sodium
WORST STEAK SANDWICH
Quizno’s Prime Rib Cheesesteak Sub, Large
1,490 calories
92 g fat (22.5 g saturated, 2 g trans)
102 g carbs
2,620 mg sodium
At 670 calories, even the small version of this sub is pushing the bounds of reasonable consumption. But in this big guy, you’re taking in a day’s worth of sodium, along with a day’s worth of saturated fat, and nearly a whole day’s caloric intake as well. A survival strategy for eating at Quiznos: If you’re going to order a sub, order it small and without dressing or cheese. Better yet, skip the subs altogether in favor of the more restrained Sammies. You’d be better off with two of them than with most regular-sized sandwiches at Quiznos.
Posted by: Wake up 2 | Apr 10, 2009 5:35:05 PM
The actor's name is Tim Rock. He's a Chicago actor who I went to school with at the Neighborhood Playhouse. And he is an awesome guy, even though I can't imagine how many takes they had to do of this, as he is (charmingly) prone to cracking up and laughing so hard he messes up the scene.
Posted by: Ashlie Atkinson | Apr 10, 2009 6:54:21 PM
Hey Wake up/Wake up 2. Thanks for your post. No one cares - back to your cave with your fellow fatties!
Posted by: Jim | Apr 13, 2009 10:28:58 PM
Ok, the point of this ad is not to say how good or bad the sandwhich is. The point is that it is really funny.
Posted by: Tim | Apr 15, 2009 8:16:29 AM
this is by far the most gayest commercial ever! first it starts by scott obviously stating that burned. he did it with the oven. then the oven in a mans voice says put it in me. then the oven tells him to say it sexier. some one in that ad agency or the "director" must like it in the oven!
Posted by: Broken halo | Apr 18, 2009 1:08:02 AM
Are you kidding me!
Don't worry Quiznos. I can't forget this ad!
I can't get the thought of "Scott" stuffing his penis in my sandwich while he's making it!
I can't tell you how many Subway sandwiches I have bought since it first aired!
This crap might sell sandwiches in San Fransisco but not in Maine!
Posted by: dedeye | Apr 19, 2009 10:41:54 PM
This ad is not funny. A deep voice saying put it in me isn't funny unless its bootleg porn of Rosie O'Donnel and K.D. Lang with a "strap on" torpedo. I don't think the concept of gay marriage or this ad is funny at all. I didn't Quiznos before cause I think the food is crap, but now I also think these dumb bastards are wasting 30 seconds of my time to prove they have no morals. GOD HATES QUIZNOS!
Posted by: boy+girl=marriage | Apr 23, 2009 8:06:37 AM
Scott, I'm a thirty-five year old US Veteran and neither I nor my friends pissed and moaned about serving our country. Take your soar p*ssy and cry to your Captain. If your in combat, He has the law on his side to shoot your whining ass. I support the "real" troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. If you wanted a free college education, I guess it sucks to be you. If you survive you will love your country and be a man.
Posted by: 4 scott | Apr 23, 2009 8:19:40 AM
I ordered a Torpedo for lunch yesterday and this is what I got... http://www.twitpic.com/3u86d
Kinda gives new meaning to "don't play with your food."
Posted by: fish | Apr 24, 2009 11:22:42 AM
