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Scientology will repair your awful rotten lifeLike any crazy cult bent on extracting money from the punters, Scientology needs good marketing, which is why it's rolling out new commercials. The first two are similar, in that they propose replacing rewarding things like mountain climbing with a fake religion cooked up by a mediocre science-fiction writer. The third is a little different, stating that Scientology doesn't judge people by what they look like or where they live. We're all equal in the eyes of Xenu, which is true in that we're all neurotic little cash registers in his/her/its eyes. But at least they didn't use any celebrities to speak for them. They certainly could have. |
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June 26, 2009 in Kiefaber, Scientology | Permalink |
Comments
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I kinda like the commercial!
Posted by: Steve Williams | Jun 26, 2009 2:42:10 PM
Yeah I like it too. I think all people look for the truth, through scientology prosesses you can find truth for yourself by looking into yourself and your life.
Posted by: DeathereX | Jun 26, 2009 7:10:03 PM
They are nice commercials/ Commercials bent on selling you a product. The product is Scientology, a religion made up by a drug addled science fiction writer with just enough knowledge of eastern philosophy and Freud to screw a lot of people up. Oh, and make a lot of money. Oh, and you can't decide for yourself in Scientology. Only L Ron Hubbard's words are the truth. If you disagree you are declared an SP and will be cut off from the church if you don't come around. Please check out www.exscientologykids.com a website made by David Miscavige's niece.
Posted by: Leif | Jun 26, 2009 8:42:30 PM
Steve Williams & DeathereX
Shills, very subtle, not.
Posted by: bookman | Jun 26, 2009 9:19:17 PM
Announcer sounds like a pedophile. Creeped me out everytime he said children.
Posted by: Jeff Barea | Jun 26, 2009 10:15:10 PM
I don't think Scientology bothered to obtain the rights to the music and images.
Posted by: Dr. Olunex | Jun 26, 2009 10:24:01 PM
There are like, NO old people in these commercials, what's with that? Don't the want old people too?
Posted by: Rilla | Jun 27, 2009 12:08:41 AM
Rilla, no, they don`t want old people, they already milked them of all the money they could...and their money making years are coming to an end.
Posted by: parrotnutz | Jun 27, 2009 3:18:26 AM
ooooh...seductive. it's a super exclusive super secret apace alien cult club and they want me! i'm getting tingly.
ooooh...they really care about me as a "being", not my pathetic "meat" body. of course so long as my "meat" body can work 100 hours a week for $30 or give them loads and loads of dinero.
ooooh...you can so tell they would never, never lie or abuse people or constantly pressure people for money or beat up their staff or coerce abortions or hold people against their will in a small trailer in the desert. you can tell, just by looking at these super keen 1 minute adds that that would never ever happen. never, ever, ever.
(((srsly... they should have to put disclaimers like drug ads, taking these courses can lead to psychosis, severe brokeness, loss of family and loss of health and possible death. )))
Posted by: jane | Jun 27, 2009 11:25:01 AM
plus old people aren't cool and hip
GRANDMA IS A SCIENTOLOGIST HOO DOOGY I WANNA BE ONE TOO
These commercials have NOTHING to do with $cientology. It's really, really misleading and almost disgusting to me for that matter.
Posted by: poop | Jun 27, 2009 11:27:17 AM
There is no dif between what they are doing or any other major religion. They all take a few truths that people recognize on a core level. Then twist and lie six ways to Sunday and back, to suit their purpose. Cash cow and control. People do need to know themselves and they do need to look for answers. A good place to start would be just about anything banned or buried. Doesn't take long for even a fairly simple mind to really recognize some truths, and understand the reality they actually live in a lil better.
Posted by: truthisnice | Jun 27, 2009 2:57:23 PM
You call that a commerical for Scientology? I'll show you a commerical for Scientology . . .
http://vimeo.com/1227000
Posted by: Artoo45 | Jun 27, 2009 4:04:48 PM
That third ad sounded a lot like the Fight Club song:
"You are not your f*cking khakis!"
HA!
Posted by: BongoBox | Jun 27, 2009 4:49:46 PM
Don't you all know that you're horrible BIGOTS??
-so sez Scientology.
;-)
Posted by: Kilia | Jun 27, 2009 10:09:21 PM
It's paperclips.
It's a horrible game of musical chairs.
It's being punched in the face by a small, asthmatic man.
Posted by: Zar | Jun 28, 2009 1:15:57 AM
It's a billion year contract for your soul.
It's a library of horrible science fiction.
It's the big joke that you don't seem to get.
Posted by: robotheaven | Jun 28, 2009 2:10:26 PM
Wow, Scientology finally figures out advertising! It almost made me want to join up. Then I remembered that I did it five nights a week for six years before the disillusionment finally took over.
Posted by: Berk | Jun 28, 2009 3:31:38 PM
I beg to differ: the Skipper was, in his time, sometimes a more than mediocre sci-fi writer, and he at least had the common courtesy to first scam the devotees of an older cult---the O.T.O. types led by Jack Parsons---before he preyed on civilians, so maybe there was something in there that could have been salvaged.
And, in the end, consider the fact that he made up obvious, absurd, lies should be counted in his favour---as opposed to:
*the anthropomorphic creator of the entire Universe making a contract with my ancestors that depended on things like men's not sexing-up men, or any member's not wearing a mixture of linen and wool, or
*that same Creator, not content with being anthropomorphic, deciding to be born as an human being separate from himself but co-equal and still One in some way, or
*that Creator's revealing himself to a merchant from Maka whose revealed word sounds awfully like stuff cribbed from the last two, or even
*an angel of that Creator revealing himself to a serial cult-member in upstate New York using golden plates that are now unavailable, deciphered using special glasses and stones, and with the result sounding a lot more like a recent English translation of the previous parts of the "same" holy books than the original
...which enough people already believe that it's dangerous to call them 'lies' in public---he made things a little easier for the rest of us....
Posted by: Dick Justice | Jun 28, 2009 4:32:56 PM
the best advice i've ever received in my 74 yrs was years ago from joseph campbell on pbs. at the end of his long series with bill moyers, two things have stuck with me ever since: all religions(and/or cultures) use metaphor in their myths and later they all make the mistake of turning their metaphors into facts. secondly, he concluded that what humans were doing through it all that has benefitted us the most was NOT searching for the meaning of life but exploring and learning from THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING ALIVE. the former can(all my words, not campbell's) drives you crazy and causes you, maybe, to join other neurotics in a cult, the latter(the capitalized) has freed me to accept the randomness of the joy and pain of the world while trying to maximize the joy and minimize the pain. forget all that crap about "what's out there". leave it to the astronomers and physicists. i guess, like meyer baba, "don't worry, be happy" (it works!). and of course, like google," don't do evil"... NOBODY(but you) has the answer.
Posted by: bob fenske | Jun 28, 2009 6:34:17 PM
Scientology: No yourself. No life.
That sounds pretty honest to me. I don't know why people are scoffing.
Posted by: Wes | Jun 28, 2009 7:51:44 PM
I've had some recent dealings with a group of scientologists through my work and they are a dishonest and creepy lot. If you want to belong to a group that worships money more than anything else and cultivates a superficial, fake and deceptive image as a means to get that money, then maybe scientology is for you. I, however, will pass.
Posted by: WC | Jun 28, 2009 9:14:18 PM
It was interesting how the "T" in Scientology is lit to look like a cross for quite a few seconds.
Posted by: DB Cooper | Jun 28, 2009 11:41:24 PM
"But at least they didn't use any celebrities to speak for them. They certainly could have."
Maybe not with the faces we'd expect, but these things are very Hollywoodized. Who are the producers & crew? Who bankrolled the SOBs?
Posted by: Memememe | Jun 29, 2009 10:01:53 AM
Well done ads!
Posted by: Jason | Jun 29, 2009 2:05:44 PM
Notice how the "T" in their Scientology logo flares into a crucifix as the lighting swells? Check it out. Makes me wonder if they're hoping to hit the demographic of people who don't really know what Scientology is and think maybe it's some branch of Christianity (and thus somewhat legitimate--or at least culturally mainstream).
Posted by: Not me | Jun 29, 2009 3:37:12 PM
Well, I think that people who get suckered into this deserve what they get. I mean come on! All you have to do is do a little research into Hubbard (there are a few good books on him, or including him) and you'll see that the guy was a massive fraud.
Posted by: Oh sure, I believe! | Jun 29, 2009 3:54:10 PM
Notice the cross in the t at Scientology tag at the end. Funny. There everything to everyone I guess.
Posted by: Crazy | Jul 2, 2009 12:33:14 AM
Does anyone know the creative agency behind these? Or were they internal? They remind me a lot of the old Sprint light-art ads (before the "Speed of Now").
Posted by: Max | Jul 2, 2009 1:07:25 AM
Does anyone know the creative agency behind these? Or were they internal? They remind me a lot of the old Sprint light-art ads (before the "Speed of Now").
Posted by: Max | Jul 2, 2009 1:07:25 AM
Does anyone know the creative agency behind these? Or were they internal? They remind me a lot of the old Sprint light-art ads (before the "Speed of Now").
Posted by: Max | Jul 2, 2009 1:07:25 AM
With all these awful comments, don't worry. We won't let you in!
Posted by: vanillasky | Aug 3, 2009 4:07:25 AM
