Cockatoo bullies people into eating Mexican

A Spanish-accented, cocky, possibly psychotic, papier-mâché cockatoo as a mascot for a Mexican restaurant? Sounds like a nightmare you'd have after too many chimichangas. In fact, it's a real campaign by ad agency Nail for New England's Margaritas chain. Meet Hector. He hectors pigeons in a park, sneaks into a baby carriage after leaving the child at the restaurant and plays the heavy in a Godfather spoof. These low-budget ads are so defiantly loopy, they're sort of addictive. While goofy, they never ruin things by going over the top. The bird just sits, stands or lies there, stiff as, well, a papier-mâché cockatoo, with the silly voiceover cracking wise. It's a far more natural performance than the hammy overacting of the blobfish, mole and lemur from that Biovision campaign. Maybe that's why those guys are headed for extinction. Two more spots after the jump.

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Filed under Animals, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Margaritas, Nail, Restaurants
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Fast-food mascot's dad has 4-hour erection

The Jack in the Box mascot's chronic creepiness was a genetic inheritance, judging by this ad for the chain's breakfast croissant special. Two for $3 is a pretty good deal, but I'll never take advantage of it now, because it'll only remind me of Jack's father's never-ending boner. I'm steering clear of their milkshakes, too, after watching the "Focus Group" spot (posted after the jump) for the pastrami sandwich. At this rate, all those middle-school jokes about their secret Jack sauce are probably true. Spots by Secret Weapon Marketing.

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Filed under Food and drink, Jack in the Box, Kiefaber, Restaurants, Secret Weapon Marketing
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Yankees' Taco Bell spot not very nourishing

If you've been watching playoff baseball on TBS, you've seen this spot with New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi and pitcher Mariano Rivera advertising's Taco Bell's XXL Chalupa. A guy can't finish his XXL, so Girardi pulls him in favor of Rivera. Girardi slaps the guy on the ass, and Rivera attempts to act, with poor results. I'm not in New York, so I assume this must be airing nationally. Do Girardi and Rivera need the money? I doubt this spot even gets made if Steinbrenner were still alive. The only way this ad would be palatable is if Joba Chamberlain plays the guy who can't finish his meal—much like he can't finish an inning these days.

Filed under Baseball, Food and Drink, Nudd, Restaurants, Taco Bell
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KFC to 'Double Down' on college girls' butts

If you're a cash-strapped college woman who wouldn't mind having the words "Double Down" written across your buttocks, here's good news: KFC might have a job for you. The chicken chain says it hopes to use assvertising to "tempt fellow students" into trying the fried-meat monstrosity that only a frat boy or freshman could love. "On select college campuses," the press release says, "female undergraduates will sport KFC Double Down branded sweatpants to encourage students to try the unique bun-less sandwich." The gig pays $500, in case that helps you swallow your pride like a pile of greasy hen flesh. The promotion kicked off this week in Louisville, Ky., and will soon hit three more campuses. You're asked to apply on the KFC Facebook page, presumably through a wall post. That's probably the first weeding-out process for applicants: If you're too ashamed to show your interest in a public forum like Facebook, you're probably not a good fit for the Double Down butt brigade.

Filed under Butts, Food and drink, Griner, KFC, Restaurants
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Men march and sing (again) for Burger King

There's clearly something manly and reassuringly military about men marching off someplace while singing about manliness. Whether it's in search of pants or beer, it's obvious that men love marching and singing. In fact, it's such a popular theme that Crispin Porter + Bogusky's new "Breakfast March" spot for Burger King, posted below, is basically a remake of a BK commercial they made a few years ago. The curious thing to me is how marching and singing is so very manly when it's just a few steps away from dancing and singing. You know, a musical—that thing that involves jazz hands and leotards. Just like the ass grabbing in football, it's probably best not to think too hard about it.

Filed under Burger King, Crispin Porter, Cullers, Food and drink, Restaurants
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Denver pizza billboards trash Domino's ads

Cultivator Advertising & Design talks tough for Anthony's Pizza & Pasta with billboards that take swipes at Domino's and other mega-chains' advertising without specifically referencing the national brands. "We never had to change our recipe. Because it never sucked," screams the headline above. Who could they be talking about? See two more ads after the jump. One needles Papa John's. The other? Your guess is as good as mine. Will these cheeky ads sway consumers? More to the point: How credible is Anthony's claim of serving "Real NY Style Pizza" in Denver? Back East, the pies start going downhill by the time you hit Poughkeepsie. In Colorado, they probably make the crust with pine needles and use trout instead of pepperoni.

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Filed under Anthony's, Cultivator, Domino's, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Restaurants
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Carl's Jr. ads defend the pursuit of fattiness

This being election season, it means lots of patriotic imagery used in somewhat cynical pursuits. Carl's Jr., never one to miss an opportunity to hawk a new meat-product innovation, is rolling out a stop-action commercial in which Lego-like figures reenact the deliberations over the Declaration of Independence. The twist here is that the Founding Fathers take time out to come up with a nutritional abomination called the Philly Cheesesteak Burger. (Get it, they're in Philadelphia?) You might think this is just a cheesesteak on a hamburger bun. You'd be wrong. It's the full cheesesteak, with grilled onions and peppers, atop a cheeseburger. In the spot, Thomas Jefferson refuses to sign the document until he gets both his cheesesteak and cheeseburger on. This kind of of awkward compromise, in more serious matters, eventually led to the Civil War. In this case, Carl's Jr. is merely creating yet another artery clogger for an already obese nation, a mass-produced food product that comes larded with 45 grams of fat and more than 1,400 milligrams of sodium. The KFC Double Down clearly started a gross fast-food arm's race that inevitably leads to the KFC Skinwich. Carl's Jr. also has a bunch of other Philly-themed stop-motion Lego videos online. See them after the jump. Yes, one includes Lego Rocky. UPDATE: Blip.tv created the Lego vids.

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Filed under Blip.tv, Carl's Jr., Food and drink, Morrissey, Politics, Restaurants
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Homely drag-queen version of you loves BK

This quite disturbing Burger King ad from Taxi in Canada suggests that buying a BK Steakhouse XT sandwich would be a good way to impress a homely drag-queen version of yourself on a hypothetical date. I'm offended by the implication that I'm cheap enough to take my dates to Burger King. Then again, it's also true that the female me would probably put out if the burger were good enough. Still, I wouldn't ruin the vibe, like this guy does, by making those cutesy talking-burger moves. I wouldn't even get a hug from myself after that crap.

Filed under Burger King, Canada, Food and drink, Kiefaber, Restaurants, Taxi
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Quiznos really loves its annoying Singimals

Quiznos is under the mistaken impression that people actually like its new commercials—the ones from WongDoody with the horrible singing cats. They've just released ("based on popular demand") a couple of new spots and have added a contest to the Web site asking for your homemade versions. (Instructions: "Tune up your hamster wheels, teach your parrot the lyrics and choreograph a jig for your ferret. Or hone your own animal instincts and star in the video yourself.") Adding a user-generated component is probably wise. Your amateur clips can't be worse than the real thing. See a second new spot after the jump.

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Filed under Animals, Food and drink, Nudd, Quiznos, Restaurants, WongDoody
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McDonald's puts nappers next to coffee ads

McDonald's and Cossette have pulled off a clever marketing stunt in Canada by planting sleeping people underneath subway posters advertising a free coffee giveaway. It's a simple but effective juxtaposition, not to mention it takes excellent advantage of Canadian subways being safe enough to sleep in. Trying that in New York or D.C. would mean trouble, and in L.A. the transit cops might just shoot you outright.

Filed under Canada, Cossette, Food and drink, Kiefaber, McDonald's, Restaurants
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Pizza Hut makes Korean girls want to dance

If this Korean commercial is to be believed, the food at Pizza Hut inspires awkward dancing by teenage girls. Note the appreciative but largely unimpressed audience taking pictures as the girls return, sheepishly, to their seats. Yeah, pizza is one of maybe a billion things that inspires dancing on that side of the planet, so people have adjusted to it. Really. A waste management seminar could get them jitterbugging over there. The spot ends with a handy tutorial, in case anyone out there feels like trying that freshness on for size. Yeah, no.

Filed under Asia, Food and drink, Kiefaber, Pizza Hut, Restaurants
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English don't like looks of this BK sandwich

This unsavory Burger King spot, with the guy who noisily "cheats on beef" with a Tendercrisp chicken sandwich in a motel room, earned plenty of disgusted looks when it aired in the U.S. a few years ago. Now, it's airing in England—and has immediately come under fire from the Ad Standards Authority, which determined that the sandwich in the ad is misleadingly large compared to what you'd actually get at BK. In what has to be its most Freudian ruling to date—which is appropriate, I suppose, given the ad's sleazy premise—the ASA "examined the size of the burgers in the hands of an average-sized man" and found them wanting in comparison to the ad, where the sandwich is huge. In the wake of this ruling, BK will have little choice but to reshoot the ad with the tiny-hands guy.

Filed under Burger King, Controversy, Crispin Porter, Food and drink, Kiefaber, Restaurants
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Quiznos returns to horrible tuneless critters

The psychedelic moose from Fallon's Maynards campaign looks like a Cannes Grand Prix winner compared to Quiznos's new singing kittens from WongDoody. It's like the fast-food chain's old Spongmonkeys spots, but with cats. A press release points out that the tabbies are intended as "fun and humorous," which is helpful, because there's no way of telling that by actually watching. The campaign is dubbed "Singimals," and even that sounds tone-deaf and off-key. There's a reference to this being the "first" ad, which implies more are forthcoming. Oh man, that's a reality I just can't face. I'll have whatever the Maynards moose is having.

Filed under Food and drink, Gianatasio, Quiznos, Restaurants, WongDoody
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Ronald barfs the rainbow on Threadless tee

Fast food clearly has its share of critics, particularly when it comes to marketing it to children. Even the man responsible for creating Burger King's mascot has his qualms. A new T-shirt at Threadless captures the critique rather graphically. The "Not So Happy" graphic tee shows Ronald McDonald literally losing his lunch against a wall while a little girl mocks him by turning McDonald's longtime "I'm lovin' it" tagline around on him. We'll see if Ronald lawyers up on Threadless.

Filed under Apparel, Food and drink, McDonald's, Morrissey, Parody, Restaurants, Threadless
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Domino's vows not to alter pizzas in its ads

Domino's is taking the twin marketing trends du jour—authenticity and crowdsourcing—to heart. Its latest effort via Crispin Porter + Bogusky solicits user-generated photos of its pizza for use in ads. The company is making a pledge to stop manipulating its pizzas for ad photos. To prove its cred, it pulls back the curtain on what goes into making fast food look delicious in ads. The video below is pretty fascinating for those of us who've never been on a food-porn set. The primping of a pizza involves everything from nailguns to Q-tips to blowtorches. We'll see how the candid shots work out. I'm guessing this trend will not take hold across the fast-food industry, judging by this ads-vs.-reality compilation.

Filed under Crispin Porter, Domino's, Food and drink, Morrissey, Restaurants
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McDonald's saves you some fateful seconds

Did Prospero take over an ad agency recently? Because this new McDonald's campaign, from Hoffman Lewis and Twist director Matt Pittroff, is a tempest of manipulative superintendence. Sure, Mickey D's is keen to save us a few seconds here and there—but if you fail to patronize the chain, the fates will have your ass. You'll end up doing shoddy police work, falling off loading docks, failing to score with your girlfriend and making a fool of yourself at the office. This campaign might work with classic McDonald's characters, though. It would be interesting to see what happened if the Hamburglar ever got a few seconds' head start.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Filed under Food and drink, Hoffman Lewis, Kiefaber, McDonald's, Restaurants
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Stop what you're doing, and go to Bojangles

Just when it looks as though BooneOakley's first work for Bojangles will fall flat by going the all-too-familiar, self-consciously wacky route, a police car runs down a mime! Who doesn't enjoy seeing those silent simpletons suffer, especially during Cannes week, when their pale-faced antics add to the surreal vibe on the Côte d'Azur? A world away from Cannes, Bojangles makes the most of a flimsy premise—highway arrests, marriage proposals and pregnancies are interrupted by insatiable Bojangles cravings—by tossing in lots of fun, silly details. (One spot is below; two more are posted after the jump.) The mime bit's the best, but also notable are the girly-man screams of the cops and the criminal as they race in the police cruiser to Bojangles, and the nonchalant Tasing of the goofy bad guy as they all burst through the restaurant's door. Will Bojangles be Tasing any mimes in upcoming spots? Let's hope so.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

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Filed under Bojangles, BooneOakley, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Restaurants
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U.S. McDonald's exec bemused by gay spot

McDonald's operations chief Don Thompson recently spoke at length to the Chicago Tribune about the state of the company. At one point, the issue of the gay McDonald's ad from France came up. Below is his response. He confirms the commercial will not air in the U.S. Beyond that, he seems … conflicted. Feel free to offer your own interpretations.
  —"It is an example that markets, cultures are very different around the world. I've never shied away from the fact that I'm a Christian. I have my own personal beliefs, and I don't impose those on anybody else. I've been in countries where the majority of the people in the country don't believe in a deity, or they may be atheist. Or the majority of the country is Muslim. Or it may be the majority is much younger skewed. So, when you look at all these differences, it's not that I'm to be the judge or the jury relative to right or wrong. Having said that, at McDonald's, there are core values we stand for, and the world is getting much closer. So, we have a lot of conversations. We're going to make some mistakes at times. [We talk] about things that may have an implication in one part of the world and may be the cultural norm in another part of the world. And those are things that, yes, we're going to learn from. But you're right, that commercial won't show in the United States."

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Filed under Gay rights, McDonald's, Nudd, Restaurants
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Non-human fathers also choose McDonald's

Dads are all the rage in McDonald's commercials these days. First, we had the guy doing loops through the drive-through with his sleeping baby in the backseat. Now, we have a father bear who rewards his cub son with McDonald's for getting good grades. The father is frightening, destructive and all about family values—much like the fast-food titan itself. They skip the drive-through here, though. Instead, they collect their food in the most logical way for the species—by rousting campers from their car and quaffing down the grub inside. Papa even shakes the vehicle to get the last fry under the seat. Awww, what a good paw!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Filed under Food and drink, Gianatasio, Leo Burnett, McDonald's, Restaurants
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Get that chicken-wing monkey off your back

The monkey-on-your-back theme is so old, it's nearly prehistoric. But Net#work BBDO evolves the tired premise in a fun, funky way in this South African spot to illustrate the main character's insatiable craving for Chicken Licken hot wings. The Jim Henson-style simian is awfully cute to start with, and gets even more compelling as it grows to gorilla-esque proportions. The long-limbed freak is cool—and I don't mean the skinny doofus driving the motorcycle. Who's he, the missing link? This approach sure beats the singing food from last year's Chicken Licken campaign, which left no one craving an encore.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Filed under Africa, BBDO, Chicken Licken, Food and drink, Restaurants
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Exhausted new fathers count on McDonald's

New parents will appreciate this nicely crafted McDonald's spot in which a haggard father loops through a drive-through over and over, afraid the baby in back will wake up if he stops. The McDonald's worker thankfully doesn't call the police, which is surely what the handbook says. Instead, she takes the guy's burden as her own, delivering him the sustenance he needs to keep going—and extending his sweet reprieve from an indescribable hell on earth. The guy's going to be trouble, though, when he leaves the lot and encounters red lights and stop signs. They could do a similar ad for E-ZPass, whose benefits likewise include not waking up the kid. By TBWA\Chiat\Day. Via Adland.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Filed under Food and drink, McDonald's, Nudd, Restaurants, TBWA
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Wimpy family is super talented with glasses

Here's a spot for South African burger chain Wimpy's from ad agency Metropolitan Republic. The "Skoltimaier Seven" play "Funky Town" on collectible cola glasses while wearing skin-tight, shiny costumes. Some of the costumes have capes. Others have puffy shoulder pads. The family looks like a chubby, white, multi-generational version of Earth Wind & Fire. A dog leaps and barks. Somebody does the robot. There's a random cut to the front lawn. A small fan sits on a table, just in case their jamming gets too intense. The bespectacled girl's winky head-slide steals the show. Brilliant. You'll hit replay repeatedly. What is this advertising again? Who cares. I'm making it my ringtone! See a brief, mockumentary-ish behind-the-scenes video after the jump. Via The Inspiration Room.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

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Filed under Africa, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Metropolitan Republic, Restaurants, Wimpy
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99 Restaurants satisfies your illicit cravings

The goofy grins and wide-eyed expectation on Mom and Dad's faces in this 99 Restaurants spot from Allen & Gerritsen underscore the odd (unintentional?) kinkiness of the premise. The theme is cravings personified. A fisherman in a rubber smock appears in the kitchen when Pops professes a hankering for panko-crusted haddock. Dad looks like he's landed the catch of the day. Later, Mums discovers a cowboy, complete with lasso, in the closet (what, no Indian in the cupboard?) and chirps, "Hey honey, I found your craving for fire-grilled sirloin." Isn't this supposed to be a family dining chain?

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Filed under 99 Restaurants, Allen & Gerritsen, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Restaurants
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DQ's Blizzardmobile turns people into idiots

Dairy Queen is celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Blizzard by driving a Blizzardmobile through 25 cities in the U.S. and Canada, handing out free mini-Blizzards along the way. You can track the truck on Facebook or Twitter. They've also increased the Blizzard menu to 25 flavors, and are holding a bevy of contests, including a game where you have to catch coupons in a wind tunnel while wearing mittens outfitted with big red spoons (losing only a little of your dignity in the process). Which all sounds fine—except judging by the commercial below, you can expect total chaos wherever the Blizzardmobile goes, as people do stupid things to chase after it. The family who leave the car wash in mid-cycle emerge mostly unscathed—except for the little boy covered in scalding suds. When did I start finding child disfigurement so amusing?

—Posted by Rebecca Cullers

Filed under Cullers, Dairy Queen, Food and drink, Restaurants
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Will you ingest KFC's culinary masterpiece?

Well, here it is, the official commercial for KFC's bunless abomination known as the Double Down, which goes on sale today. In case you haven't heard, it's a bacon and cheese sandwich with two pieces of fried chicken for bread. The commercial actually first aired almost a year ago, when KFC was testing this cardio-catastrophe. Reactions ranged from mortified concern to morbid curiosity, but it was clear the Colonel had one buzzworthy slab of Homer Simpson grotesquerie on his hands. Now that DD-Day is upon us, will you be trying this new American treasure? If you're feeling tempted, you might want to take a sneak peek at what you'll be getting for your $4.99.

—Posted by David Griner

Filed under Food and drink, Griner, KFC, Restaurants
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