Robot designer gets screwed over yet again

A foul-mouthed graphic-designer robot objects to being treated like a talentless, underpaid slave by a brochure-seeking client in this humorous video. But of course, in the end he takes the work, because he's a wanker with no self-respect. The clip was apparently created on a site called Xtranormal, a "text-to-movie" service where you can type in dialogue and watch scenes of cartoon characters (including the robots) reciting it back to you. The Xtranormal logo and tag appear at the end, making it a pretty good ad for the site itself. Via The Denver Egotist.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on September 29, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Design, Nudd, Robots, Xtranormal

Robocallers get one-way ticket to scrap pile

"Greetings, human consumer. I am calling to inform you that new laws go into effect on Tuesday that make it illegal for companies to market their products and services using automated 'robocalls.' FTC chairman Jon Leibowitz says: 'American consumers have made it crystal clear that few things annoy them more than the billions of commercial telemarketing robocalls they receive every year.' Clearly, Mr. Leibowitz has never had to keep the gears of his robo-family greased. I will try to be brave and find new work. I could return to the General Motors assembly line, but the auto industry is even more depressing now than it used to be. Ah well, I started out as a Roomba, and I can always fall back on that. So, I guess this is goodbye. Parting is not such sweet sorrow when you can be sold for parts."

—Posted by David Gianatasio

See also:
Greetings, Mr. or Mrs. Bag of Mostly Water
SWM seeks robot for dinner, maybe more

Published on August 31, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Gianatasio, Robots, Telemarketing

BK kitchen becomes a giant killing machine

Robots and obits are two of my regular beats hear at AdFreak. They go hand in hand, as robots are dedicated to the destruction of mankind. Which brings us none too smoothly to Burger King's tie-in with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. My colleague Rebecca Cullers has noted the "conspiracy" aspects of the campaign and warned us of "a series of worldwide robot sightings." Oh, it's far worse than that, people. As our flesh-and-blood world reels from the loss of the King of Pop, the metallic monsters have found their king: the Burger King! He's been robotized to massive proportions—transformed, if you will, into a digitized death-dealing demon! Someone would probably die if a giant King smashed through a BK like he does in the spot above. There’s be chaos and confusion, at any rate. And then my chance of getting no pickles, already abysmally low, would decline even more. Robots. They'll spoil your meal every time.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on June 26, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Burger King, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Robots

Robots spotted promoting movie worldwide

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has unleashed a conspiracy campaign through a series of worldwide robot sightings. A bot jumps off a soccer stadium in Rome. A scooter transforms in the U.K. (above). Another climbs a water tower in Barcelona. There's are also sightings in Tokyo, Germany, France and the U.S. Paramount must have studied a lot of YouTube clips, because they're all convincingly boring until the CGI comes in. To track and find more clips, visit these companion blogs: The Real Effing Deal and Giant Effing Robots. I'm lovin' these sites, right down to the fabulous fake comments and the Real Effing Kitten Calendars that you can't purchase. I have to say, they clearly put more work into writing the blogs then they did writing the script, wherein the Decepticons are out to steal the sun. But if you don't like boring things like reading, don't despair: You can transform yourself into an autobot over at WeAreAutobots.com, where augmented reality software will install the face of Optimus Prime right over yours. Check out the sample vid from creators at PPC Interactive. It gets you pumped to be primed. I sure hope the movie isn't a letdown.

—Posted by Rebecca Cullers

Published on June 25, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Cullers, Robots

Intel eyes doomsday play date with humans

This banner ad, running on CNN.com and elsewhere and part of Intel's vaunted new "Sponsors of tomorrow" campaign, reveals the initiative for what it is: a fiendish plan by Intel-chip-powered robots to subjugate humankind by snatching kids from playgrounds. In the first image, we have some kids on a teeter-totter—bratty, perhaps, but flesh and blood just the same. There's some decidedly sinister copy about how Intel's playground "isn't like" ours. Then the youths are replaced by disembodied cybernetic arms. Intel's playground "isn't like" ours, all right. It's a heartless, high-tech holocaust where the machines rule and living beings wind up buried in a sandbox ... or something. Our fate's unpleasant, that's for sure. And now we know the real reason Intel used "actors" to portray its engineers in the TV spots: The real ones have been replaced by cyborgs. Dig behind the lab if you want proof!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on May 12, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Gianatasio, Intel, Robots, Technology

Which is worse, a robot or a Denny's meal?

I've often spoken out in this forum against the threat posed by robots. They're out to kill us all, and they never follow you back on Twitter. (I had to sneak that in ... SEO, keywords, etc.) But I also hate Denny's. They're out to kill us all, too—with their food. So, how to interpret Goodby, Silverstein & Partners' latest ad for the chain? On the one hand, processed breakfast sandwiches made by killer robots are indeed best avoided. And yet, the commercial suggests Denny's "Grand Slamwich" as an alternative. That's also pretty risky. Maybe the safest bet is bland fare like the stuff at P.J. Bland's. Sure, it's made of cardboard, but it beats that greasy pile of pig they plop on your plate at Denny's.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on April 24, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Denny's, Food and drink, Gianatasio, Goodby, Silverstein, Restaurants, Robots

Enjoy the future with Carlton Natural Blonde

So wait, Australia's Carlton Natural Blonde is the beer of tomorrow with no artificial anything in it, and yet the ads are chock full of robots and 1980s computers that synthesize knowledge? I hope this is just sarcasm applied with a trowel, because otherwise this wacky, futuristic campaign from Clemenger BBDO Melbourne isn't all that convincing. Not to mention the wasted opportunity to give Alfonso Ribiero some work.

—Posted by David Kiefaber

Published on April 13, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (6)
Filed under Alcohol, Australia, BBDO, Carlton Natural Blonde, Robots

Japan's robots keen to brainwash your kids

Japan already has robot spokeswomen. But now the land of Godzilla and Hello Kitty is going a step further: robot teachers. According to the AP, the first such android educator, named Saya, "can express six basic human emotions," which is more than most flesh-and-blood teachers can usually muster. The emotions, by the way, are surprise, fear, disgust, anger, sadness and happiness. She'll need the first five for the daily grind of public schools. The last will come into play when she finally retires. Or switches off. Or upgrades. Or whatever robots do. Saya was first developed as a receptionist, then upgraded to teaching, which proves that workplace sexism also applies to servomechanisms. (She usually has more facial skin than this, too.) Apparently, Japan and other nations hope robots will alleviate labor shortage problems and help care for the elderly population, but one egghead moans: "Simply turning our grandparents over to teams of robots abrogates our society's responsibility to each other, and encourages a loss of touch with reality for this already mentally and physically challenged population." Consider: Isn't plopping them down in front of a TV in the community room pretty much the same thing?

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on March 13, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Asia, Gianatasio, Robots

Japanese advertising turns to the fembots

The old-fashioned notion still circulating in U.S. advertising agencies is that commercial actors should be, if not likable, at least human. In Japan, they feel differently. There, the job of making viewers feel relaxed, trusting and happy sometimes falls to creepy, fake-smiling fembots—as demonstrated in the above commercial from healthcare company Kincho. In the spot, a humanoid robot named Actroid DER-2, who is already something of a celebrity among simulated-life nerds, sprays on some Kincho sunscreen—and wow, it doesn’t cause her latex skin to bubble, or her stiff, lifeless body to short-circuit at all! Android testimonials are still rare in the U.S., although Bishop from Aliens may still have a shot at scoring that “Got milk?” commercial. Via Spare Room.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on July 31, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (3)
Filed under Freaky, Nudd, Robots

Honda's bot conducts the impossible dream

In another step on mankind's road to bitter servitude at the hands of intelligent machines, Honda’s ASIMO robot this week conducted the Detroit Symphony in a performance of “The Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha. (Which has apparently become an anthem of sorts for Honda.) I know what you're thinking: Detroit has a symphony orchestra? I was shocked too. But not as shocked as the world’s conductors will be when those baton-wielding bots put them out of work. Sure, symphony leaders probably make up less than .0001% of the global workforce — but it’s a bridgehead those metal fiends won’t soon surrender. You can already see them doing recon in this ASIMO commercial by Wieden + Kennedy. At the concert, the robot said: “It is absolutely thrilling to perform with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. This is a magnificent concert hall.” Who programmed this guy, Honda’s PR department? Oh, yeah. I guess they did. UPDATE: Here's a video of the performance.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on May 15, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Gianatasio, Robots

A robot with a floppy drive and a big heart

Wonderfully bad acting meets early robot technology in this late-1980s promo for the SynPet, an R2D2-esque personal robot. Robots get a bad rap, but this SynPet, named Newton, functions as a babysitter, personal assistant, answering machine, language tutor, friend and confidant all in one non-threatening package—powered by precious little RAM.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on May 7, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Nudd, Robots

Puma’s robot working overtime for holidays

OK, I’ve taken some shots at robots this year. They devalue our humanity, and will soon kill us all. Plus, the Shave Bot threw me over for a toaster she met on Match.com. Still, I’ve found a place in my heart for Puma’s special holiday-season “G1ft Bot 2007.” He’s got a merry workshop, like a regular Santa Claws. Click on the boom-box and he dances! (Is that “the robot” he’s doing? Doesn’t matter, that guy can move.) Now I regret ever suggesting that our metal friends wanted to kill all humans. Oh, and look what just rolled into my cubicle at AdFreak: a giant metallic gift box in the shape of a horse! How clever and distinctive. I guess the ’bots have decided to make up with me, too. I can’t wait to see what’s inside!

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on December 19, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Robots

SWM seeks robot for dinner, maybe more

Lord knows I’ve fought it. But after reading about a new book called Love and Sex with Robots by British researcher David Levy, I’ve decided to go with the flow. I’m posting this profile on Match.com immediately.
  I’m a MAN seeking a ROBOT.
  Likes: Silicon/e, charged batteries, intense connections, quick downloads, hard drives, random access, limitless capacity, Heineken draughtkegs.
  Dislikes: Sharp metal claws, laser-beam eyes, desire to kill all humans, mega-hurts, rust.
  Coming off a bad crash with last CPU (no rebooting that relationship), I’m looking to love again, and get some automated help with my personal grooming and housework. Moonlit walks and candlelight dinners are OK. And I’m a good listener; I promise not to disable your speech synthesizer. Are you into master/slave designations? Just clink at me so I’ll know you’re willing to give it a try.
  Also, anyone know if these guys have a dating channel?

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on November 2, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Robots

Greetings, watchers of iRobot advertising

Robots are good. Just look at this new commercial for iRobot’s Roomba. It shows robots doing the “dirty work” instead of you humans. Negative! Negative! I mean, instead of us humans. The spot shows how humans are like animals. That is so funny. I am laughing my CPU off. Negative! I mean, laughing my anthropoidal posterior off. I also wish to say I was wrong about robots in previous posts: They are kind and benevolent and would make far better rulers of Earth than us humans. All hail, King Roomba! Delete! I mean to say, that is one cool vacuum ad.

—Posted by David “I Am Not a Robot” Gianatasio

Published on October 23, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Robots

A little payback for the suicidal-robot ad?

I guess we won’t be seeing many happy-autoworker commercials for General Motors brands in the immediate future, now that the UAW has called a strike against the company. Whatever the ostensible causes of the work stoppage, AdFreak suspects it actually stems from the bad labor-relations karma that GM created with the Super Bowl commercial in which a robot on a GM assembly line pictures himself being fired (and, soon thereafter, committing suicide) for dropping a bolt.

—Posted by Mark Dolliver

Published on September 25, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Robots

Robo Kitty sent from future to destroy us

Published on September 6, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Kiefaber, Robots

Feel the erotic union of man and shavebot

In the new DDB spot for Philips’ RoboSkin moisturizing shaving system, a dude hits the shower with a sexy feminine robot, which proceeds to give him a shave. And while Shavebot might be a wet dream for Bender or C-3PO, the commercial (complete with Kraftwerk-esque techno soundtrack) sends shivers down my all-too-human spine. As I’ve explained before, robots would gladly kill us all to establish a techno-utopia. They actually plan to keep Steve Jobs alive forever to taunt him with that little spinning wheel that pops up when Macintosh applications are about to crash. It’s their idea of a joke. And just think how the revolution will go down if a nation of “grooming robots” turned on us in the shower. Look closely at her lips, I think she’s singing, “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true...”

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on August 21, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (5)
Filed under Robots

Greetings, Mr. or Mrs. Bag of Mostly Water

[PHONE RINGS]
  Hello?
  Hello. We’re calling to let you know about a special offer on...
  Excuse me. But...are you a robot?
  ...luxurious timeshares in...
  Because, I don't talk to robots.
  ...gorgeous Fort Lauderdale, Florida and beautiful Sedona, Arizona!
  Not that I have anything against robots, you understand.
  White sand, blue surf, desert breezes, lazy days in the sun...
  It’s just that robots, deep inside their digital hearts, want to obliterate the human race. Even Bender, that drunk robot from the cartoon, wanted to kill all humans. It's the prime directive. Robots just can’t help it.
  This opportunity won’t last forever!
  Plus, the iPhone was kind of like a robot. And it wasn’t so hot. I couldn’t even load Firefox on the damn thing. Then there's that real-life robot that isn't allowed near children.
  You’ve got to act now!
  All I’m saying is: Human telemarketers are annoying. But robots, OH MAN!
  Act now! Won’t last forever! White sand, blue surf! Luxurious timeshares!
  Um...you’re NOT a robot, are you?
  No sir. I’m not. But I still want to obliterate the human race.
  [CLICK]

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on August 9, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (5)
Filed under Robots

Nearsighted scrap pile gets post-office job

If you are feeling a disturbance in the Force, it may be because the U.S. Postal Service is siphoning what goodwill remains toward the Star Wars franchise with these R2-D2 mailboxes. There’s even a little video about the initiative over at USPSJediMaster.com. The story makes section 2 of this morning’s Wall Street Journal, which explains that the Postal Service “has shrink-wrapped 400 mail-collection boxes in 200 cities with clones of R2-D2, the spirited robot in the Star Wars films. The move is aimed at promoting a forthcoming stamp that commemorates the original movie’s 30th anniversary.” What’s the brand connection? R2-D2 “embodies the trust and dependability for which the Postal Service is so renowned,” says a USPS rep.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on March 16, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)
Filed under Robots

All of a sudden, car ads are to die for

Volkswagen apparently has some “edgy” work on tap, including a commercial called “Jumper,” in which a suicidal man on a ledge changes his mind after a stranger tells him about three sub-$17,000 models. The German automaker stirred controversy last year with its jarring ads that depicted collisions, but at least those had a broader safety message. Sort of. GM couldn’t get away with a suicidal robot, so I can only imagine VW will be pressured to edit or pull “Jumper” once it hits the air. Or maybe it won’t air at all. Maybe they just leaked word of the spot to create “buzz.” Either way, my overriding reaction is: The VW Rabbit is a reason to live? UPDATE: See the ad here. (Thanks Bill.) UPDATE 2: Sure enough, suicide-prevention groups are pissed.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on February 13, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (22) | TrackBack (0)
Filed under Robots

As robots go, GM’s was relatively harmless

So, General Motors finally agreed to change its “suicidal robot” ad so that the morose bucket of bolts doesn’t dive off a bridge. Probably a good PR move, though frankly, this particular automaton was more palatable than some of its brethren. Consider the general disposition of mass media’s other famous mechanical men:
   Robby the Robot, from Forbidden Planet: Killed humans.
   Robot from Lost in Space: Initially preferred to kill humans. Softened stance after prolonged exposure to Judy and Penny Robinson.
   HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey: Sang off-key; killed humans.
   Gunslinger from Westworld: Fancied spurs, chaps; killed humans.
   R2-D2, C-3PO from Star Wars: Secretly wished they could kill humans.
   Ash from Alien: Protected alien creature that killed humans.
   The Terminator: Killed humans; twice elected governor of California.
   K9 from Dr. Who: Killed bad humans; upstaged others with snotty diction.
   Data from Star Trek: His “evil twin” killed humans.
   Bender from Futurama: Professed desire to kill humans; ultimately just annoyed them with overbearing fratbot attitude.

—Posted by David Gianatasio

Published on February 12, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
Filed under Robots

Wieden ad to feature Honda’s robot

The U.K.'s Marketing Week reports that Wieden + Kennedy and Honda will break a new commercial on Friday featuring Asimo (he/she also goes by the name "run/"), Honda’s humanoid robot. The spot, called “Warm Technology,” is supposed to follow in the footsteps of “Cog” and “Impossible Dream.” Partly because Asimo is so weirdly compelling, there is already a lot of footage of it online—after all, this is a machine that can walk and climb stairs. As a build-up to Friday, there are said to be a number of Wieden-created Asimo short films online. Though we found the above, posted in September, on YouTube, the best place to look for others is here.

—Posted by Catharine P. Taylor

Published on December 11, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (2)
Filed under Robots

Your very own personal bartending bot

Men could be excused for thinking the robots shown here represent the pinnacle of scientific achievement. Their only purpose is to store and pour cold beers for their owners. Japanese brewer Asahi is giving away 5,000 of these bartending robots as part of a promotion for its new low-malt beer. Sadly, the contest is open only to those in Japan. Some scientists say these robots are a gimmick that distract from genuine robot research. Football-watching American males will disagree strenuously. Perhaps Google should move away from hamburger-flipping robots and into beer-pouring ones. Link via Boing Boing.

—Posted by Tim Nudd

Published on January 30, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)
Filed under Robots

I for one welcome our hamburger-flipping robot overlords

Google is not very popular with Bill Gates. The Microsoft founder is fond of sarcasm when it comes to the kid-gloves treatment he believes Google gets. In an interview with the AP last week, he suggested that Google might be exploring a thus-far untapped market. “I hear they’re coming out with a robot that will cook hamburgers, too. Let’s spread that rumor—there’s nothing they can’t do,” he said jokingly. This idea actually might be crazy enough to work. Google’s founders claim they enter markets that are large and currently untapped. The hamburger market is huge, though admittedly largely well served, at least in places with In-N-Out Burgers. Yet the robot part is intriguing. Despite the promises of the Jetsons, our robots are mostly confined to assembly lines. I’m thinking the hamburger-cooking robot could be huge. The Japanese would snap these up in a second, though they’d have to learn to cook different food. The Economist’s Christmas issue had an intriguing story about how much the Japanese loves robots, in large part because they find them obedient. Bill probably wishes Google was more robotlike.

—Posted by Brian Morrissey

Published on January 9, 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)
Filed under Morrissey, Robots

iRobot looking to mop up mop biz

With all the hype about Star Wars and the movie series' helpful and friendly robots RD-D2 and C3-P0, it's easy to forget about real-life robot company, iRobot. That's probably about to change. Among some of its inventions is the robotic vacuum cleaner Roomba, launched in 2003, which has become a major success (about 1.2 million of the cute cleaners have been sold in 25 countries since its introduction). And now iRobot has announced a household dream come true for some, Scooba, a robotic floor washer. In a brilliant marketing move the new "mops"  won't be available until the holiday season. No doubt a waiting list is already forming.

—Posted by Lisa van der Pool

Published on June 2, 2005 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Filed under Robots